2012年6月六級考試作文范文(3)
The Way to Success
Success is something everyone looks for, longs for and dies for. But have you ever considered what success is? Some may hold that success means one has beautiful life, like pretty house, cool cars and great power. It’s indeed one way to define success. But to me, success is doing something one really feels like doing。
To achieve this kind of success, one has to bear in mind three essential prerequisites, namely knowing where your interest really lies in, possessing the strong will to pursue your interest and having the diligence to realize your dream. In other words, they are “what” “why” and “how” of success. It’s really luckily good for one, especially for the younger generation of today to find their dreams, follow them and in the end, make them come true and become successful。
Although it’s never easy to succeed, progressing with the strong will and diligence towards the right direction, you’ll be the one。
【作文解析】
這是一篇議論文。作者首先提出問題”what is success?”，但并沒有在這個問題上著更多的筆墨，而是直接引出了自己的觀點：success is doing something one really feels like doing. 算是立意較為新穎的地方。隨后在第二段對這種成功背后的三種必要條件做出了闡述。整體看，行文流暢，用語規(guī)范地道。
本篇亮點：
1. 排比詞組或句子的運用：
Success is something everyone looks for, longs for and dies for。
…namely, knowing where your interest really lies in, possessing the strong will to pursue your interest and having the diligence to realize your dream。
2. bear in mind
3. lie in
4. strong will to pursue your interest
本文有待提高之處：
1. 文中人稱有些混亂。有些使用第二人稱代指讀者，有些又以第三人稱指代，建議統(tǒng)一。
2. 結(jié)構(gòu)上，一般情況下我們建議考生使用典型的“三段式”，即，提出問題、分析問題、解決問題。該作者基本上遵循了這個原則，但第三段更多的卻是重復(fù)了第二段的中心思想，并沒有起到很好的總結(jié)作用。如果第三段，作者可以與第一段的“成功定義”相呼應(yīng)，例如：即使沒有這些身外之物，但心靈上的滿足，夢想的實現(xiàn)，才是我心中成功的本質(zhì)。
整體看，文章在語言表達和立意上還不錯。但在文章結(jié)構(gòu)上有些松散，有待提高。
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