雅思作文點評：應禁止無意義的飛行
Long-distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses in many years and pollutes the air. Some people think non-essential flights should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, as the world’s connection becomes more and more close, there are many chances for people to go to other countries. It’s obvious to see that flying is a quick and convenient way to get to our destination. But there is a problem arising: Long-distance flight consumes large amount of fuel and pollutes the air, should non-essential flights be banned or not? My answer to this question is definitely yes. (70words)
結構點評：3+1’的模式，最后一句表達了自己的觀點。內容上也符合要求，前3句是改寫題目，引入話題，最后一句是全文的總觀點。
語言方面：作者的英語水平（憑我的猜測）應該是可以的，但是寫出來的句子總給我感覺怪怪的！比如there is a problem arising，應該是there arises a problem.但是從語法方面來說是沒有錯的，意思么我也能看懂。這應該就是傳說中chinese english的最高境界吧。此外，It’s obvious to see也犯了相同的錯誤。Obvious本身就是easy to see的意思，這里應該不需要to see，否則就畫蛇添足了！www.Examw.com
其次，第1段就寫了70個詞，好像寫得太多了，考試的時候可以適當減少點。第1段給我的印象一般，起評分：6分。
Several reasons can be used to illustrate that,（應該是句號，而且這句話要么寫在第1段最后，要么就不要寫） firstly, people cause too many pollutions today which greatly affect our living environments. For example, in some highly-polluted cities we can see sunshine no longer and we can hear no chirps of birds. We can’t experience the beauty of nature just because we polluted it so heavily. There is no reason for us to aggravate this pollution by adopting so many flights. （70words）
結構點評：1’+3的模式。看到這里我發現作者寫作時，對結構的概念還是比較清晰的，但是語言方面可能受母語的影響，讓我看了總不是很舒服！首先，第1句話是廢話，可以略去。內容上，總覺得把同樣的內容換個表達方式說了幾遍，此外pollution或pollute用的太多，導致給人的感覺很羅索，內容又比較空洞。
語言方面：乍看之下沒有什么特別嚴重的問題。只是表達的時候，多樣性做的實在很差。不過需要說明的是，對于作文目標是6分的同學來說，完全可以不追求多樣性！
Secondly, since now（語言上是正確的，可是一般不會這么寫，會造成歧義） the world’s resources become so scarce, we should try our best to limit the use of non-renewable resources and to exploit these resources which cause no pollution to environment. Now that Long-distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses in many years（不要照抄題目給的原文，給考官的印象很不好！）, why we still use it so frequently? Besides, there is an advantage if we choose train or other ways instead of plane, because we can enjoy the wonderful scenery of passing places（這么說，總覺得不舒服）, while on the plane we can see nothing but the sky.
According to what I had said（應該是have said吧！）, I have every reason to believe that it is not only necessary but also beneficial to ban non-essential flights.(256 words)
綜合點評：整篇文章結構比較清晰，有自己的觀點，也有論證。缺點是論證的并不好，特別是內容上有待提高，雖然雅思考試對內容的要求不是特別高，但也不能寫得太過牽強！語言方面沒有什么太大的亮點，幸好也沒有什么明顯的錯誤，這個是值得大家學習的！anyway，這是一篇比較樸實的文章。
總評:6分。
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