一次成功的雅思寫作復議
學生第一次來郵:
我的寫作成績值得復議嗎?
老師,
您好. 我在您批改的作文中大多得6+, 您對我的評語就是英語表達超6,組織得好就能拿7的那位同學.
我在9月23日參加的考試,寫作居然只有5分.那次的大作文寫的是"越來越多的人開私家車,說說優(yōu)點和缺點".我是這樣寫的:
優(yōu)點:私家車能繁榮經(jīng)濟, 特別是汽車工業(yè).
方便, 能隨時隨地到任何地方,不用象公交車一樣限定線路和時間.
舒適, 不用擠公交車.
缺點:令道路更堵塞,特別是上下班高峰期.
汽油供應短缺,很多私家車需要排隊加油(以廣州為例)
造成更多的環(huán)境污染.
結尾: 認為開私家車的缺點大于優(yōu)點.
考完出來自我感覺良好, 不知是否我這樣寫離題了才得個5分, 還請老師指點.
我這樣寫可以拿6分嗎? 我想申請成績復議, 值得這樣做嗎?
老師回復:
yes,i think u'd better go for an application of reevaluating. anyway, i’ll still need to tell u some mistakes u made.
now let me try to simulate how the examiner was looking at your task2 n then drew such a stupid conclusion.
the first idea(advantage) is not based on comparison and contrast----more private cars help boom the car manufacturing industryà not a right idea. but the second one hits the point---convenience. how about the drawbacks? traffic jams caused---hmmmm..good idea. more pollution is created---good too. but queue to fill up tanks with gasoline----hmmmm...u might not express it in a coherent way.
after all, u included one good point for the positive side n one for the negative side. i believe u definitely deserve a chance to get band 6. the examiner probably only read the first bit of the advantages n then turned to briefly examine the last part and hence marked your paper like this. if u apply for reassessing, the entire paper( two tasks) will be scrutinized by another examiner, n the good points will not be missed. this is why i tend to encourage u to have a try.
if unclear, call me .
good luck!
Andrew
學生最后來郵
I'm glad to tell you that my writing is re-marked as band 6. Thank you very much for the encouragement, otherwise I may lose the confidence to apply the remark.
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