看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型，一個提高的方式就是看范例和點評，針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。

招聘條件：

寫作原文

The undergraduate, who is on his way to a job interview, is stunned after hearing a ridiculous condition: the position is only for the man born in the year of dog. More ironically, a dog is eager to try. Conspicuously, that is a horrible depiction concerning the discrimination in job market. Over the past years, all kinds of discriminations(改為discrimination，它是一個不可數名詞) have (has) been condemned or made illegal, but one insidious form continue to thrive: some harsh conditions some employers imposed when recruit new,(句子成分不清，建議改為some harsh conditions are imposed on the employers when a company recruit new) ranging from height to household registration. So, what cause(改為causes) these problems? Firstly, thetremendous number of graduates- still mounting each year- make organizations powerless to screen out right candidates. (本句話說服力不夠強) For which(改為this) reason, numerous bizarre approaches have come out to find “the right person”. Moreover, the current state of affairs may have been encouraged by lack of severe penalty and punishment to those arrogant organizations who(改為which) shrink the obligation of selecting eligible staff. A good case in point is one of my roommates, with excellent performance in the job interview, failed to obtain the occupation(本句話可改為who performs excellently in the job interview, but fails to obtain the occupation，若要按作者的寫法，應該在failed之前加but，用來連接兩個簡單句，且將failed改為fail) as a consequence of inadequate height.The clear message is that we should get moving to launch a war against those irresponsible companies. Just as rejecting those duty-shrinking corporations, making complaint to administrator as long as we meet this situation.(整句話沒有謂語動詞，且administrator使用不當，本句話可改為：To reject the duty-shrinking corporations, we should report the situation to the relevant authorities) More significantly, the authorities should charge with the obligation of laying down associate-effective discipline which seems appropriate in the light of current situation. By these methods, we will surely get through this tough period before long.

本科還未畢業生，在他去面試的是誰，是震驚，聽完一個可笑的條件：位置是只為人出世在狗年。更諷刺的是，狗是渴望嘗試。顯然，這是關于就業市場的歧視可怕的描述。在過去的幾年中，各種歧視譴責或被定為非法，但一個陰險的形式繼續發展：一些苛刻的條件，一些雇主施加時招新，從身高戶籍。所以，是什么原因造成這些問題呢？首先，畢業生人數仍安裝-巨大每年使組織無力篩選合適的候選人。因為這個原因，許多奇怪的方法來尋找“合適的人”。此外，目前的狀況可能受到嚴厲的處罰，處罰缺乏鼓勵那些自大的組織收縮選擇合格人員的義務。一個很好的例子是我的一個室友，在求職面試中的出色表現，未能獲得職業作為一種高度不足的后果。這是一個明確的信息：我們應當著手發動一場戰爭反對那些不負責任的公司。正如拒絕那些責任萎縮的公司，使投訴管理員只要我們遇到這樣的情況。更重要的是，當局應該負責制定有效的學科關聯現狀的光似乎適當的義務。通過這些方法，我們一定會度過這個艱難的時期。

總體點評

文章結構完整，符合考研寫作的要求。但是美中不足的是，作者在選詞方面不夠精確，句子表達方面也有所欠缺。望作者在以后的寫作中，應該注重句子的組成，并選用強有力的論據來支撐自己的觀點;應該多積累經典詞句，練習模仿句子，一周練習兩篇作文即可。其余時間可強化自己的基礎知識，鍛煉自己的語言組織能力。

參考分數(滿分20分)：12

英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對?？戳朔段暮忘c評，希望大家有思考，有提高。

更多 考研英語作文、考研英語作文模板、考研英語作文范文，請繼續關注 英語作文大全