美文賞析：The Best Kind of Love

I have a friend who is falling in love. She honestly claims the sky is bluer. Mozart moves her to tears. She has lost 15 pounds and looks like a cover girl.

"I'm young again!" she shouts exuberantly.

As my friend raves on about her new love, I've taken a good look at my old one. My husband of almost 20 years, Scott, has gained 15 pounds. Once a marathon runner, he now runs only down hospital halls. His hairline is receding and his body shows the signs of long working hours and too many candy bars. Yet he can still give me a certain look across a restaurant table and I want to ask for the check and head home.

When my friend asked me "What will make this love last?" I ran through all the obvious reasons: commitment, shared interests, unselfishness, physical attraction, communication. Yet there's more. We still have fun. Spontaneous good times. Yesterday, after slipping the rubber band off the rolled up newspaper, Scott flipped it playfully at me: this led to an all-out war. Last Saturday at the grocery, we split the list and raced each other to see who could make it to the checkout first. Even washing dishes can be a blast. We enjoy simply being together.

And there are surprises. One time I came home to find a note on the front door that led me to another note, then another, until I reached the walk-in closet. I opened the door to find Scott holding a "pot of gold" (my cooking kettle) and the "treasure" of a gift package. Sometimes I leave him notes on the mirror and little presents under his pillow.

There is understanding. I understand why he must play basketball with the guys. And he understands why, once a year, I must get away from the house, the kids—and even him-to meet my sisters for a few days of nonstop talking and laughing.

There is sharing. Not only do we share household worries and parental burdens—we also share ideas. Scott came home from a convention last month and presented me with a thick historical novel. Though he prefers thrillers and science fiction, he had read the novel on the plane. He touched my heart when he explained it was because he wanted to be able to exchange ideas about the book after I'd read it.

There is forgiveness. When I'm embarrassingly loud and crazy at parties, Scott forgives me. When he confessed losing some of our savings in the stock market, I gave him a hug and said, "It's okay. It's only money."

There is sensitivity. Last week he walked through the door with that look that tells me it's been a tough day. After he spent some time with the kids, I asked him what happened. He told me about a 60-year-old woman who'd had a stroke. He wept as he recalled the woman's husband standing beside her bed, caressing her hand. How was he going to tell this husband of 40 years that his wife would probably never recover? I shed a few tears myself. Because of the medical crisis. Because there were still people who have been married 40 years. Because my husband is still moved and concerned after years of hospital rooms and dying patients.

There is faith. Last Tuesday a friend came over and confessed her fear that her husband is losing his courageous battle with cancer. On Wednesday I went to lunch with a friend who is struggling to reshape her life after porce. On Thursday a neighbor called to talk about the frightening effects of Alzheimer's disease on her father-in-law's personality. On Friday a childhood friend called long-distance to tell me her father had died. I hung up the phone and thought, This is too much heartache for one week. Through my tears, as I went out to run some errands, I noticed the boisterous orange blossoms of the gladiolus outside my window. I heard the delighted laughter of my son and his friend as they played. I caught sight of a wedding party emerging from a neighbor's house. The bride, dressed in satin and lace, tossed her bouquet to her cheering friends. That night, I told my husband about these events. We helped each other acknowledge the cycles of life and that the joys counter the sorrows. It was enough to keep us going.

Finally, there is knowing. I know Scott will throw his laundry just shy of the hamper every night; he'll be late to most appointments and eat the last chocolate in the box. He knows that I sleep with a pillow over my head; I'll lock us out of the house at a regular basis, and I will also eat the last chocolate.

I guess our love lasts because it is comfortable. No, the sky is not bluer: it's just a familiar hue. We don't feel particularly young: we've experienced too much that has contributed to our growth and wisdom, taking its toll on our bodies, and created our memories.

I hope we've got what it takes to make our love last. As a bride, I had Scott's wedding band engraved with Robert Browning's line "Grow old along with me!" We're following those instructions.

If anything is real, the heart will make it plain.
最好的愛

我有一個(gè)朋友，她掉進(jìn)愛里了。她發(fā)自內(nèi)心地說，天空是藍(lán)的。莫扎特感動(dòng)她流淚。她瘦了15磅，看起來像個(gè)封面女郎。

“我又年輕了！”她歡呼道。

我的朋友對(duì)她的新歡贊不絕口，我審視了我的舊愛。我丈夫近20年，史葛，已獲得15英鎊。曾經(jīng)有一個(gè)馬拉松運(yùn)動(dòng)員，他現(xiàn)在只能在醫(yī)院大廳里跑。他前額的頭發(fā)越來越少，他的身體顯示長(zhǎng)時(shí)間工作的痕跡和太多的糖果。但他仍然可以給我一個(gè)肯定的目光穿過餐廳的桌子，我想要求檢查和頭家。

當(dāng)我的朋友問我“什么會(huì)使這個(gè)愛最后？”我跑過所有顯而易見的原因：承諾，共同的興趣，無私奉獻(xiàn)，身體的吸引，溝通。還有更多。我們?nèi)匀挥袠啡ぁＷ园l(fā)的好時(shí)光。昨天，橡皮筋后從卷起的報(bào)紙，史葛開玩笑地彈了我：這LED的全面戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)。上星期六在雜貨店，我們分開的名單，并互相比賽，看看誰能使它的結(jié)帳第一。即使洗盤子也能爆炸。我們享受僅僅是在一起。

還有驚喜。一天我回到家，發(fā)現(xiàn)門上有一張紙條，LED我另一張便條，然后另一個(gè)，直到我走到壁櫥。我打開門，發(fā)現(xiàn)史葛拿著一個(gè)“金罐”（我的烹飪壺）和一個(gè)禮品包的“寶”。有時(shí)我把他在鏡子上留著，小禮物放在他的枕頭下。

有理解。我明白他為什么要和那家伙打籃球。他明白為什么，一年一次，我必須離開家里，孩子們，甚至他去見我的姐妹幾天不停地說話和笑。

有分享。我們不僅可以分擔(dān)家庭的憂慮和父母的負(fù)擔(dān)，我們也分享想法。史葛上個(gè)月從一個(gè)會(huì)議上回到家，并送給我一部厚厚的歷史小說。雖然他更喜歡恐怖和科幻小說，他卻在飛機(jī)上閱讀的小說。當(dāng)他解釋這是因?yàn)樗朐谖易x到它的那本書的時(shí)候，我的心是因?yàn)樗虢粨Q意見。

有寬恕。當(dāng)我尷尬地大聲瘋狂聚會(huì)，史葛原諒我。當(dāng)他承認(rèn)在股市上失去了一些積蓄時(shí)，我給他一個(gè)擁抱，說：“這很好。這只是錢。”

敏感度。上周，他走到門口，告訴我，這是一個(gè)艱難的日子。他和孩子們呆了一段時(shí)間后，我問他發(fā)生了什么事。他告訴我一個(gè)60歲的女人，她有一個(gè)中風(fēng)。他回憶起那個(gè)女人的丈夫站在她床邊他哭了，撫摸著她的手。他將如何告訴這個(gè)丈夫的40年，他的妻子可能永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)恢復(fù)？我流下了幾滴眼淚。因?yàn)獒t(yī)療危機(jī)。因?yàn)檫€有人已經(jīng)結(jié)婚40年。因?yàn)槲艺煞蛟卺t(yī)院病房和臨終病人的年后仍然感動(dòng)和關(guān)心。

有信仰。上個(gè)星期二，一位朋友來了，并承認(rèn)她擔(dān)心她的丈夫正在失去他與癌癥的斗爭(zhēng)的勇氣。星期三，我和一位正在苦苦掙扎著要離婚的朋友一起去吃午飯的時(shí)候和一個(gè)朋友一起去吃午餐。星期四，一位鄰居打電話給她說，她公公的性格是老年癡呆癥的可怕影響。星期五，一個(gè)兒時(shí)的朋友打長(zhǎng)途電話告訴我她的父親去世了。我掛了電話，想了想，這是太多的心痛了一個(gè)星期。通過我的眼淚，因?yàn)槲页鋈マk點(diǎn)事，我看到窗外的鮮艷奪目的橙色劍蘭。我聽到我兒子和他的朋友們玩的高興的笑聲。我看見一個(gè)來自鄰居家的婚禮聚會(huì)。新娘穿著緞和花邊，把她的花束拋給她的歡呼的朋友們。那天晚上，我跟我丈夫說了這些事情。我們互相幫助，承認(rèn)生命的輪回，并將快樂與悲傷對(duì)抗。這足以讓我們繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。

最后，知道。我知道史葛每天晚上都會(huì)給他洗衣服，他會(huì)遲到，他會(huì)晚到大多數(shù)的約會(huì)，吃最后一塊巧克力在盒子里。他知道我的頭枕著枕頭睡覺，我會(huì)定期把我們關(guān)在家里，我也會(huì)吃上最后一塊巧克力。

我想我們的愛會(huì)持續(xù)，因?yàn)樗苁娣２唬炜詹凰{(lán)：它還是我熟悉的色彩。我們不覺得特別年輕：我們經(jīng)歷了太多的事情，這對(duì)我們的成長(zhǎng)和智慧有助于我們的身體，并創(chuàng)造了我們的記憶。

我希望我們得到了什么，使我們的愛情。作為一個(gè)新娘，我有史葛的婚禮樂隊(duì)刻著羅伯特的“與我一起變老了！”我們遵循這些指令。

如果一切都是真的，心就會(huì)受傷

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