no woman is worthy to be a wife who on the day of her marriage is not lost absolutely and entirely in an atmosphere of love and perfect trust; the supreme sacredness of the relation is the only thing which, at the time, should possess her soul. is she a bawd that she should bargain?

women should not "obey" men anymore than men should obey women. there are six requisites in every happy marriage; the first is faith, and the remaining five are confidence. nothing so compliments a man as for a woman to believe in him--nothing so pleases a woman as for a man to place confidence in her.

obey? god help me! yes, if i loved a woman, my whole heart's desire would be to obey her slightest wish. and how could i love her unless i had perfect confidence that she would only aspire to what was beautiful, true and right? and to enable her to realize this ideal, her wish would be to me a sacred command; and her attitude of mind toward me i know would be the same. and the only rivalry between us would be as to who could love the most; and the desire to obey would be the one controlling impulse of our lives.

we gain freedom by giving it, and he who bestows faith gets it back with interest. to bargain and stipulate in love is to lose.

the woman who stops the marriage ceremony and requests the minister to omit the word "obey," is sowing the first seed of doubt and distrust that later may come to fruition in the divorce court.

the haggling and bickerings of settlements and dowries that usually precede the marriage of "blood" and "dollars" are the unheeded warnings that misery, heartache, suffering, and disgrace await the principals.

perfect faith implies perfect love; and perfect love casteth out fear. it is always the fear of imposition, and a lurking intent to rule, that causes the woman to haggle over a word--it is absence of love, a limitation, an incapacity. the price of a perfect love is an absolute and complete surrender.

keep back part of the price and yours will be the fate of ananias and sapphira. your doom is swift and sure. to win all we must give all.

 

沒有一個女子在結婚的那一天可以稱得上是一個妻子，因為那時的她還完完全全、全身心地沉浸在愛與純真的氣氛里；這種關系的至高無上的神圣性是那時唯一攫住她靈魂的東西。她會是一個要討價還價的鴇母嗎?

女人不應該“遵從”于男人，倒是男人更應該遵從于女人。每對幸福的婚姻都具有六項必備的條件。這第一項就是信賴，其余的五項就是信心。對于一個女人來說莫不如是：信賴一個男人就是對他最好的贊美——對于一個男人來說莫不如是：給女人以信心就是對她最好的愉悅。

遵從？天呀！是的，如果我愛一個女人，我滿心的渴望就是遵從她最細小的意愿。如果我沒有全然的信心相信她僅僅是渴求美、忠誠與公正，我怎會愛她？為了使她能夠實現這個理想，她的意愿，對我就是一個神圣的號令；我知道，她對我也作如是觀。我們之間唯一的競爭就是：看誰付愛最多；遵從的渴望，是我們生命中惟一的控制脈沖。

我們因給與而自由，享用信賴的他會加倍回報這份信賴。以愛討價還價、約法三章，愛情就會衰敗。

在婚禮上駐足并請求牧師略去“遵從”一詞的女子，是在播種懷疑與不信任的種子，到后來，這種子就會在離婚法庭上開花結果。

在“家族”和“金錢”婚姻婚前通常有的那種關于財產、嫁妝的討價還價和吵吵鬧鬧， 無意間確是苦惱、心痛、折磨、恥辱期待委托人的前兆。

全然的信賴必然包含全然的愛；全然的愛會驅散恐懼。致使女人喋喋不休討價還價的原因，始終是對強迫、對一種潛在的統治欲的恐懼——那是愛的匱乏，是限制、是傷殘。全然的愛的標價就是絕對的無條件投降。

你若打折扣，亞拿尼亞和撒菲喇⑴的命運就是你的命運。你的厄運便為期不遠且在劫難逃。要贏得所有，我們就必須付出全部。⑴ 亞拿尼亞和撒菲喇（ananias and sapphira）亞拿尼亞(因伙同妻子撒非喇私扣變賣田產所得的錢欺哄圣靈被揭穿后夫妻同被打死)《圣經·使徒行傳》5∶1～5]

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