A Word on Advice
Webster defines advice as being, "a recommendation with regard to a course of action."
韋氏字典給“建議”一詞定義如下：“對某行為提出意見或忠告。”
The expression, "I need some advice" has to be one of the most horrifying statements in the English language. What makes it remarkably terrifying is that the advisor is usually confronted with it out of the blue and with little or no warning. My daughter is an expert at this. Lately I have been able to predict when she will call. It usually happens when I am having the type of day when everything seems to be going well. I am actually relaxed with few things that have to be done. It is almost as if I send out a signal to her that I am ready for the challenge. The call always begins with the expression, "Dad". The word is not as important as how it is stated. It sounds like a question being asked by someone who does not want to be heard. In other words, it is a little quieter than a whisper. I know she knows it is I, because she did the calling and I am confident that she knows the sound of my voice. It is almost as if the word is a signal that I had better be ready.
“我需要點建議”是英文中一句很聳人聽聞的言辭，之所以用“聳人聽聞”一詞是因為給建議的人總是在沒有任何先兆的情況下面對一些未知的事情。我的女兒是這方面的專家。最近我總能掐算到她什么時候會打電話給我，電話鈴總是在風平浪靜的日子里響起。我對逃避不了的事情總是泰然處之，就好象我總在向女兒發出我整裝待發的信號。“爸爸”，電話那頭通常用這樣的開場白，其實這個稱呼并沒有它聽起來那么偉大。那聲音比耳語還要輕微，好象提出了問題卻又不愿被人聽見似的。其實她知道我是誰，是她撥的電話，而我確信她聽出了我的聲音，而“爸爸”兩個字就好象明擺著我最好要準備妥當。
When my daughter was small I looked forward to giving her advice. In fact, I sincerely believe that she also enjoyed it. For the most important thing a Dad can do is get his child ready for life. Not that I ever thought I was ready but at least I have been able to survive my years, so far. She used to sit real close to me or on my lap and I would explain the mysteries of life to her. I would tell her of morals and ethics that made life as good as it can possibly be. Years later, when my daughter hit the wonderful teenaged years, she didn't accept my advice as she did in the past. In fact, she obviously dreaded it. However, I gave it to her anyway because I wanted her to survive her teenaged years. I survived them so why shouldn't she listen to me and take in the knowledge that I had from the experiences of my past. For years she never came to me for advice but I continued to submit it. Now that I think of it, my father did the same.
當女兒還很小的時候，我很渴望給她建議。事實上，我堅信她會很樂意接受。一名父親最重要的職責就是讓孩子能準備充分地面對生活。倒不是說我就準備好了，但至少這么多年來我能夠在社會上生存下來。以前她常依偎在我身旁、或趴在我腿上聽我解釋生活中令她疑惑的事情。同時我還會給她講一些倫理道德，盡量讓生活過得更有質量。幾年以后，女兒步入了花樣的青春期，她不再接受我的意見。其實我看得出她很害怕。不管怎樣，我還是給出了我的意見，因為我希望她能平穩地度過那個階段。我是過來人，為什么她就是聽不進我的前車之鑒呢？多年來她都緘口不提此事，但是我仍繼續給她建議。直到現在我回想起來才發現我的父親也是這樣。
Soon, too soon, she left and started her own life. It was as though our separation necessitated that she would once again need, and seek out, my advice. At first this was a good thing, in that I appreciated the fact that she thought my wisdom was worth the time. After awhile I came to the realization that I might not always be right. I started to fear my own answers to her questions.
恍然間，她離開了我建立了自己的生活。仿佛我們的分開反倒使得有些事情成為必要，她將再次需要尋求我的意見。首先這是件好事情，就此事看來她還是認為我的智慧是經得起時間的考驗的。然而我又意識到或許我的建議不總是對的。于是我開始有些害怕回答她的問題了。
My daughter is not the only person in my life that asks for advice. My wife does it in an odd way. I know she knows the answer to her question but it is almost as though she wants to combine mine with hers. Sometimes when I give her advice she takes it in and basically makes her own decisions. Other times she gives me that odd look that asks, "What planet were you born on?" Either way I do my best.
在我的生活中女兒并不是唯一向我征詢意見的人。我妻子的做法卻很怪。她知道問題的答案，但她總希望我的答案能和她的一致。有時我給出建議，她也欣然接受了，但事實上她總是按照自己的方式決定事情。有時她作出十分怪誕的表情看著我似乎在問：“你究竟是哪個星球的人呢？”在兩種情況下我都能盡力而為。
My parents have started to ask for my advice. This was very difficult for me to understand. Most of my life my father and mother were the ones to direct me on how I should handle certain situations. They were the ones who survived their years so that they could direct me toward correct decisions. Now the roles seem to be reversed. I guess I should take it as a compliment because this shifting of roles means that they have finally come to the realization that I am capable of making correct choices. Now, if I could only believe this same realization and finally relax in my new role.
我的父母也開始向我征求意見，對此我深感不解。因為從來都是父母指導我如何為人處世，他們可以憑借多年的生活閱歷幫我作出正確的抉擇。而現在我們的角色似乎被互換了。我認為這是一種恭維，因為角色的交換意味著他們終于意識到我已經具備正確的抉擇能力了。依現在的情形，我只能相信這種意識并最終會在新的角色中釋懷。
My folk's questions usually surround their preparation for the final stages of their lives. I hate these situations because, if I admit that they are getting old, I am literally resigning myself to the fact that I am not far off. I answer their questions as best as I can, praying that I am advising them to do the right things but how could I possibly know? Unlike giving advice to my daughter, giving advice to my parents involves me guessing what to do without the experience of going through what they are presently going through. I guess they ask me because they trust me, like I have always trusted them.
朋友們的問題總糾纏在行將之日上。我討厭這樣的問題,因為如果我承認他們老了，那我也只好聽天由命等死了。我盡全力去回答他們的問題，然后期望我的話行之有效，但我又怎么能知道呢？不像給女兒和父母建議，因為我沒有經歷過他們正經歷的事情，所以建議中夾雜了我的猜測。我想他們問我是因為信任我，就如同我一直信任他們一樣。
I am a teacher. In fact, I am a high school teacher who works with young adults who are about to embark on careers that include college, the military, or work. Every day I am asked questions concerning how they should organize for their futures, away from a life that centered on their public school. Most people don't realize that graduating from high school is one of the last "rights of passage" our society has. This is true because these young children are leaving a time that had taken up over 75% of their young lives.
我是一名教師，一名以年輕人為工作對象的高中教師，而這些年輕人即將升上大學、或參軍、或走上工作崗位。每天都有人問我在他們離開以校園為中心的生活后該如何計劃他們的未來。許多人意識不到高中畢業是社會賦予我們最關鍵的轉折點之一。這是真的，因為年輕的孩子們正在離開一個時代，一個占據他們年輕生命四分之三的時代。
So, I advice them as to what industries will be important when they get out of college; what military service they should look into, in order to achieve what they think they want to achieve. Sometimes just to tell these young men and women that life is a wonderful thing and that they are fortunate to be in a stage of their lives where they are about to become adults. Every time they leave I pray that I gave them good advice. I know I did my best.
所以，為了他們能達到他們想達到的目標，我告訴他們，當他們離開校園的時候，什么工業會更有前途，要服什么樣的兵役。有時只要告訴少男少女們生活是美好的就行了，身處人生最美好的階段是很幸運的，他們也將長大成人。每當他們離開后我都祈禱我的話是有益的。我知道我盡力了。
Sometimes people I don't know ask for my advice. The parents of my students usually ask what they should do to make their child's future bright. Sometimes they ask what they should do because their child doesn't listen or doesn't believe what they are telling them. I assume they ask me because they believe a teacher should know the answers. Either that or they look at my gray hair and beard and believe that my age necessitates my ability to know.
有時，不認識的人也向我尋求建議。學生的家長通常會問他們該怎樣做才能讓孩子們有個更光明的前途；該怎么做才能讓孩子們聽話或相信他們的話。我想他們問我是因為他們相信一個老師應該知道答案，或者因為他們看到我灰白的頭發和胡子而相信我的年齡應該有這個能力知道該怎么做。
The basic problem with Webster's definition of advice is that it doesn't take into account the advisor. Does the advisor understand the problem and have the ability to help with a decision? In the past, did I give my daughter, parents, students, and strangers the correct advice?
韋氏關于“建議”一詞的定義最關鍵的問題是沒有把建議者算進去。建議者懂這個問題嗎？有這個能力幫忙做決定嗎？以前，我給女兒、父母、家長、學生和陌生人的建議到底對嗎？
I think I'll give my daughter a call and ask her for some advice!
我想我該給女兒一個電話向她詢問一些建議。
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