告訴他你愛他
In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the “unpardonable1.”
最近在我執教的一個成人班級里，我干了一件“不可饒恕的”事情。
I gave the class homework!
我居然給班上的學生布置了一份家庭作業！
The assignment was to “go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them.
任務是“下周之內要走到你所愛的人面前，告訴他們你愛他。
It has to be someone you have never said those words to before
此人必須是一位此前你從未對之說過此話的對象，
or at least haven''t shared those words with for a long time.“
或至少很久沒有與他們交流過這些愛意盎然的話語了。“
Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35
聽起來這不像是一份苛刻的任務，直到你意識到這個班里多數男生已年逾35歲。
and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not “macho.”
何況在他們成長的那個年代，他們受到的是這樣的灌輸：流露情感沒有“陽剛之氣”。
Showing feelings or crying （heaven forbid!） was just not done.
人們不會輕易流露情感和哭泣（老天也不允！）。
So this was a very threatening assignment for some.
因此對某些人來說，這是一項令人生畏的任務。
At the beginning of our next class,
第二次上課一開始，
I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them.
我就問：當你告訴別人你愛他/她時，結果怎樣？有沒有人愿意講一講？
I fully expected one of the women to volunteer6, as was usually the case,
我滿心指望像平常一樣，某位女士能自告奮勇，
but on this evening one of the men raised his hand.
但是這天晚上，一位男士舉起了手。
He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.
他看上去很受感動的樣子，還有一點顫抖。
As he unfolded out of his chair（all 6 2" of him）,
當他從座椅上直起身來時（他身高6英尺2英寸），
he began by saying, Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment.
他這樣說道：“丹尼斯，上周你給我們布置任務時，我很生你的氣。
I didn`t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides,
我認為我沒有什么人需要我說那些話，而且，
who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?
你是誰？憑什么讓我們去干這種涉及隱私的事？
“But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me.
“但我驅車回家時，我的良知開始與我對話。
It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.
它告訴我，我確實知道需要向誰說'我愛你'這句話。
You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time.
“你瞧，5年前，我與父親發生了激烈的爭執，而且從此再也沒有消除隔閡。
We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings.
我們互相回避，除非絕對必須出席圣誕節聚會或其他的家庭聚會。
But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.
但甚至在那些場合，我們彼此幾乎也不說一句話。
“So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.
“因此，上周二到家時，我確信自己做得不對，打算告訴父親我愛他。
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