成功男人的秘訣

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　　導(dǎo)語：每個成功男人的背后都有一個默默支持他的女人，這個經(jīng)典言論居然被推翻了，原來僅僅支持是不夠的，最重要的是：不礙事兒。

The secret of success may be a spouse who stands at your side - but keeps out of the way， psychologists claim.

Whether you are the Prime Minister， or simply trying to stick to a diet， the best support comes from those who offer practical help without making a fuss.

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New research suggests that， contrary to the traditional image， a loving and supportive partner can sometimes get in the way of achieving your goals.

The more supportive they are， the more the other person relies on them - and by doing so makes less of an effort themselves， says the US study in the journal Psychological Science.

Researchers Grainne Fitzsimons and Eli Finkel describe the process as "self-regulatory outsourcing" - the unconscious reliance on someone else to move your goals forward， coupled with a relaxation of your own effort.

It is most common when someone has a partner urging them forward but can equally apply to friends and family members， they claim.

It is better to offer unobtrusive help behind the scenes， much as Denis Thatcher did for his Prime Minister wife and as Samantha Cameron appears to do for the current PM， said Dr Fitzsimons.

"Our study shows there are positive and negative consequences to being supportive， but you can be subtle about it rather than being bossy，" she said.

"For example， you can offer to babysit so your partner can get to the gym or take over the chores before an important meeting， and these contributions make the relationship stronger."

The researchers came to their conclusions after three online experiments involving 216 people， focusing on the ways partners supported their loved ones.

心理學(xué)家稱成功的秘訣是一個永遠(yuǎn)陪伴你、支持你的伴侶，而且不會礙事兒。

上至首相，下至努力減肥的普通人，最好的支持就是默默無聞地給你實(shí)在幫助的人。

美國一項新研究表明，和傳統(tǒng)觀念相左，一個愛你支持你的伴侶有時可能阻礙你實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)。【外語&教育網(wǎng)編輯整理】

這篇發(fā)表在《心理科學(xué)》期刊上研究表明，他們越支持，另一半就會越依賴，進(jìn)而減少努力的程度。

研究者格蘭妮？菲茨西蒙斯和埃利？芬克爾稱此過程為"自調(diào)外包"，即不自覺的依賴他人去實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的目標(biāo)，有所松懈。

他們說，特別是當(dāng)對方習(xí)慣敦促別人，甚至對親戚朋友也是如此的時候，這種情況最為常見。

菲茨西蒙斯博士說，最好的是在幕后提供一些間接的幫助，就像前英國首相撒切爾夫人的丈夫丹尼斯？撒切爾，或者在位的英卡梅隆首相卡梅隆的妻子薩滿莎一樣。

“我們的研究表明支持也有積極和消極的雙面影響，可以采取溫和的方式，而不是咄咄逼人。”

“例如，可以在對方運(yùn)動的時候照看孩子，在重要會議前承擔(dān)家務(wù)瑣事，這些小事卻能讓關(guān)系更加穩(wěn)固。”

研究者們在網(wǎng)上對216人做了調(diào)研后得出了以上結(jié)論，重點(diǎn)關(guān)注了夫妻應(yīng)如何支持對方。

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