老師就像一顆閃亮的星(A teacher just likes a shining)

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你剛上高中時感到某一學(xué)科學(xué)習(xí)有困難，而教這門課的某某老師對學(xué)生非常負(fù)責(zé)。他（或她）對你進(jìn)行耐心的幫助，經(jīng)常輔導(dǎo)你做練習(xí)，讓你有更多的機會回答問題，還教你學(xué)習(xí)方法，給你提供學(xué)習(xí)用品等，這使你對這門課產(chǎn)生了學(xué)習(xí)興趣，學(xué)習(xí)成績也從而好了起來。這位老師在你的心中是一顆閃亮的星，照耀著你前進(jìn)的道路。

【作文示范】

A teacher just likes a shining star to students. Miss Fu, one of my English teacher, is a shining star in my life.

I happened to be in Miss Fu's class when I began my high school years. At that time, I dared not speak English aloud in public, for I was shy and my pronunciation and intonation① were poor. Afraid of being laughed at, I never put up my hand to answer the questions Miss Fu raised in class, even if I had some good answers to them. For a time, I even lost interest in practising spoken English. When Miss Fu found out the reason, she encouraged me to speak. First she bought me some English tapes and told me to listen to them carefully, and try to recite them. In class, I was often asked questions and given a lot of chances to practise speaking.

Little by little, I became brave enough to speak, and was not afraid to speak English before others. Miss Fu smiled sweetly when she heard the news that I had been chosen to take part in an important oral English contest②.

Whenever I look at the stars in the sky, I recognize the brightest one ---- the symbol of Miss Fu in my heart. Miss Fu will always be a shining star in my life!

【詞語解釋】

①intonation [?int u'neiM n] n．語調(diào)；聲調(diào)

②contest ['k&ntest] n．競賽；比賽

【寫法指要】

本文用象征的手法把老師比做心中閃亮的星星，表達(dá)了作者對老師的感激之情和崇敬心情。文章引言段用的是“漏斗式”（the funnel）引入法，即由一般到具體的方法，正如漏斗似的上寬下窄。第一句以明喻（simile）的修辭格把全體老師比做閃亮的星星，第二句具體到作者心中的老師。第二段寫老師如何幫助作者學(xué)習(xí)英語。第三段寫作者的進(jìn)步和成功。結(jié)尾段與引言段呼應(yīng)，重復(fù)漏斗式方法，最后一句用隱喻（metaphor）重提自己生命中的閃亮之星——付老師。