On Dieting 關(guān)于節(jié)食

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　　Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
　　1)現(xiàn)在有越來越多人的選擇節(jié)食，有的人是為了健康，但是更多的人是為了有一個(gè)苗條的身材
　　2)分析節(jié)食減肥可能帶來的影響
　　3)你的建議
　　On Dieting
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　　行文思路　
　　本題屬于提綱式文字命題。提綱第1點(diǎn)指出一種現(xiàn)象并要求說明原因，提綱第2點(diǎn)要求分析這種現(xiàn)象可能帶來的影響，提綱第3點(diǎn)要求針對該現(xiàn)象提出“我”的建議，由此可判斷本文應(yīng)為現(xiàn)象解釋型作文。
　　根據(jù)所給提綱，本文應(yīng)包含如下內(nèi)容：描述越來越多的人節(jié)食的現(xiàn)象并分析主要原因;闡述節(jié)食不當(dāng)可能帶來的影響;針對節(jié)食給出“我”的建議。
　　高分范文
　　On Dieting
　　Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet.
　　[3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people don’t really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition.
　　[6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect.
現(xiàn)在越來越多人在節(jié)食。一些人擔(dān)心自己的健康，所以通過節(jié)食來減掉超過的體重。但也有一些人，特別是女人，對她們外表太在意了。她們成為了節(jié)食人群的主導(dǎo)者。
但是，節(jié)食會對人們帶來很多負(fù)面影響。一方面，大部分人都不需要真的節(jié)食來保持健康，他們只是想保持苗條身材。對于他們來說，節(jié)食不僅沒有用反而對他們的健康造成傷害。另一方面，一些人對怎么科學(xué)的節(jié)食不是很了解。結(jié)果，他們遭受了營養(yǎng)不良。
考慮到節(jié)食的壞處，我們在節(jié)食的時(shí)候一定要小心。我認(rèn)為不管是因?yàn)槭裁丛蚬?jié)食，都需要專業(yè)的指導(dǎo)，只有正確的知道節(jié)食才會有效果。
　　【亮點(diǎn)點(diǎn)評】
　　[1]“尤其”，表示強(qiáng)調(diào)。
　　[2]“成為主力軍”。
　　[3]過渡銜接詞語，使文章條理清晰、銜接緊密。
　　[4]用于引出對危害或負(fù)面影響的闡述。
　　[5]“not only… but also”用于連接并列成分。
　　[6]“考慮到，鑒于”，介詞。
　　[7]“不管因?yàn)槭裁丛?rdquo;，whatever意為“無論什么”。
　　[8]“only+狀語”位于句首，引起句子部分倒裝。
　　[9]“像我們期望的那樣”。
　　佳句臨摹
　　1.佳句：For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health.
　　臨摹：基因技術(shù)不僅使動植物受益而且還有助于提高人類的生活質(zhì)量。
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　　2.佳句：In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance.
　　臨摹：無論你的目標(biāo)是什么，你都必須通過誠實(shí)的勞動來實(shí)現(xiàn)它。
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　　3.佳句：Only with right guidance can dieting work as we expect.
　　臨摹：只有修滿足夠的學(xué)分，學(xué)生才能夠獲準(zhǔn)畢業(yè)。
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　　【KEY】
　　1. Genetic technology helps not only the plant and animals but also human beings to live a higher quality
　　2. Whatever your aim is, you must worked honestly to attain it.
　　3. Only when adequate credits have been achieved can students gain the qualification for graduation.