On Dieting 關于節食
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
1)現在有越來越多人的選擇節食,有的人是為了健康,但是更多的人是為了有一個苗條的身材
2)分析節食減肥可能帶來的影響
3)你的建議
On Dieting
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行文思路
本題屬于提綱式文字命題。提綱第1點指出一種現象并要求說明原因,提綱第2點要求分析這種現象可能帶來的影響,提綱第3點要求針對該現象提出“我”的建議,由此可判斷本文應為現象解釋型作文。
根據所給提綱,本文應包含如下內容:描述越來越多的人節食的現象并分析主要原因;闡述節食不當可能帶來的影響;針對節食給出“我”的建議。
高分范文
On Dieting
Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet.
[3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people don’t really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition.
[6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect.
現在越來越多人在節食。一些人擔心自己的健康,所以通過節食來減掉超過的體重。但也有一些人,特別是女人,對她們外表太在意了。她們成為了節食人群的主導者。
但是,節食會對人們帶來很多負面影響。一方面,大部分人都不需要真的節食來保持健康,他們只是想保持苗條身材。對于他們來說,節食不僅沒有用反而對他們的健康造成傷害。另一方面,一些人對怎么科學的節食不是很了解。結果,他們遭受了營養不良。
考慮到節食的壞處,我們在節食的時候一定要小心。我認為不管是因為什么原因節食,都需要專業的指導,只有正確的知道節食才會有效果。
【亮點點評】
[1]“尤其”,表示強調。
[2]“成為主力軍”。
[3]過渡銜接詞語,使文章條理清晰、銜接緊密。
[4]用于引出對危害或負面影響的闡述。
[5]“not only… but also”用于連接并列成分。
[6]“考慮到,鑒于”,介詞。
[7]“不管因為什么原因”,whatever意為“無論什么”。
[8]“only+狀語”位于句首,引起句子部分倒裝。
[9]“像我們期望的那樣”。
佳句臨摹
1.佳句:For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health.
臨摹:基因技術不僅使動植物受益而且還有助于提高人類的生活質量。
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2.佳句:In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance.
臨摹: 無論你的目標是什么,你都必須通過誠實的勞動來實現它。
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3.佳句:Only with right guidance can dieting work as we expect.
臨摹:只有修滿足夠的學分,學生才能夠獲準畢業。
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【KEY】
1. Genetic technology helps not only the plant and animals but also human beings to live a higher quality
2. Whatever your aim is, you must worked honestly to attain it.
3. Only when adequate credits have been achieved can students gain the qualification for graduation.
生活Life 健康Healthy
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