實例解析GRE寫作易犯錯誤 難詞長句應量力而行
作文實例批改：
Foreigners may, largely, are willing to realize a society through staying and researching its major cities, but this does not follow that the only representation of a society is major cities.(Foreigners usually understand a society as they living in the major cities, studying them at the same time. However, actually, the major cities, in most cases, cannot represent a certain society in every respect.)
Indeed, there are numerous people living in major cities nowadays. To some degree, by observing citizens’ daily behavior,those who are not familiar with the society probably learn some respects of the society. To be specific, a normal citizen’s work time can (may) represent the portion of the society timetable; the prominent and grandiose buildings are also the symbol（單復數不統一） of the society. Accordingly, studying major cities has becoming（這個時態太過繁瑣，只要用一般現在是就可以了）the cordial option of recognizing（understanding）the authentic and diverse milieu （authenticity and diversity）of a society.
However, the number of the major cities is only the small part of a whole society(the number of cities in the whole society). Hypothetically, the first place that a tourist arrives in America is New York. How is he about to probe the core of the society of America by visiting and penetrating New York?(How can he understand the society of …)The answer is that it is impossible for him to realize（understand）the whole society just with (by) the means of studying New York. After all, the environment of New York, phenomenon of prosperity, is not existed throughout the overall America(is not the same as that in other places in US). Still, every government of developed countries will do its best to promote the progress of major cities for moulding glamorous image of its country. Meanwhile, mainstreams of a country, as basic channel which foreigners try(主謂不一致)to explore the social phenomenon, are more likely to propagandize and transmit news about major cities but ignore the small and medium-sized cities or countryside due to relatively their lower profit and value of information（句子結構混亂，應該寫成兩句到三句話，而不是一整個長句）.
Besies, for most countries, countryside is the crucial determinant of a society（to the society）. The tempo of living and working in village is quite lower in contrast with(compare to that in)major cities, and the essence of a society can be retained without bustle and noisy vibe.(這里是一個新的句子不應該用逗號)There are over 700 million farmers in contemporary China, for instance, and they have kept the austere, frugal and regular traditional condition of life for a long time, so that they avoid influence of burgeon of world as much as possible. Such idyllic tranquility
As people interest in understanding exotic societies absolutely, visiting and penetrating both major cities and villages（countryside）is(are)the most judicious(wise) way to grasp it.（結尾過于簡單，好的結尾應該是總結全文的觀點，然后加一句總結句。這個結尾只有總結句，太過草率。但是如果考試時間不夠，沒辦法的情況下，可以像本文這樣。）
點評：從這篇文章中就可以看出，不恰當的使用難詞長句，就會導致各種行文上的水土不服。大家在寫作文的時候如果對于用法沒有熟練的掌握，還請慎用大詞、難詞、生僻詞、長難句等等。否則就會有東施效顰，過猶不及的感覺。畢竟中國人的文章很容易變成中不中洋不洋的Chinglish，而一旦文章被考官打上這樣的標簽，得分上就會有很大的風險。
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