實(shí)例解析GRE寫作易犯錯(cuò)誤 難詞長(zhǎng)句應(yīng)量力而行
作文實(shí)例批改：
Foreigners may, largely, are willing to realize a society through staying and researching its major cities, but this does not follow that the only representation of a society is major cities.(Foreigners usually understand a society as they living in the major cities, studying them at the same time. However, actually, the major cities, in most cases, cannot represent a certain society in every respect.)
Indeed, there are numerous people living in major cities nowadays. To some degree, by observing citizens’ daily behavior,those who are not familiar with the society probably learn some respects of the society. To be specific, a normal citizen’s work time can (may) represent the portion of the society timetable; the prominent and grandiose buildings are also the symbol（單復(fù)數(shù)不統(tǒng)一） of the society. Accordingly, studying major cities has becoming（這個(gè)時(shí)態(tài)太過(guò)繁瑣，只要用一般現(xiàn)在是就可以了）the cordial option of recognizing（understanding）the authentic and diverse milieu （authenticity and diversity）of a society.
However, the number of the major cities is only the small part of a whole society(the number of cities in the whole society). Hypothetically, the first place that a tourist arrives in America is New York. How is he about to probe the core of the society of America by visiting and penetrating New York?(How can he understand the society of …)The answer is that it is impossible for him to realize（understand）the whole society just with (by) the means of studying New York. After all, the environment of New York, phenomenon of prosperity, is not existed throughout the overall America(is not the same as that in other places in US). Still, every government of developed countries will do its best to promote the progress of major cities for moulding glamorous image of its country. Meanwhile, mainstreams of a country, as basic channel which foreigners try(主謂不一致)to explore the social phenomenon, are more likely to propagandize and transmit news about major cities but ignore the small and medium-sized cities or countryside due to relatively their lower profit and value of information（句子結(jié)構(gòu)混亂，應(yīng)該寫成兩句到三句話，而不是一整個(gè)長(zhǎng)句）.
Besies, for most countries, countryside is the crucial determinant of a society（to the society）. The tempo of living and working in village is quite lower in contrast with(compare to that in)major cities, and the essence of a society can be retained without bustle and noisy vibe.(這里是一個(gè)新的句子不應(yīng)該用逗號(hào))There are over 700 million farmers in contemporary China, for instance, and they have kept the austere, frugal and regular traditional condition of life for a long time, so that they avoid influence of burgeon of world as much as possible. Such idyllic tranquility
As people interest in understanding exotic societies absolutely, visiting and penetrating both major cities and villages（countryside）is(are)the most judicious(wise) way to grasp it.（結(jié)尾過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單，好的結(jié)尾應(yīng)該是總結(jié)全文的觀點(diǎn)，然后加一句總結(jié)句。這個(gè)結(jié)尾只有總結(jié)句，太過(guò)草率。但是如果考試時(shí)間不夠，沒(méi)辦法的情況下，可以像本文這樣。）
點(diǎn)評(píng)：從這篇文章中就可以看出，不恰當(dāng)?shù)氖褂秒y詞長(zhǎng)句，就會(huì)導(dǎo)致各種行文上的水土不服。大家在寫作文的時(shí)候如果對(duì)于用法沒(méi)有熟練的掌握，還請(qǐng)慎用大詞、難詞、生僻詞、長(zhǎng)難句等等。否則就會(huì)有東施效顰，過(guò)猶不及的感覺(jué)。畢竟中國(guó)人的文章很容易變成中不中洋不洋的Chinglish，而一旦文章被考官打上這樣的標(biāo)簽，得分上就會(huì)有很大的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。
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