為大家?guī)?a href=http://www.hengchuai.cn/writing/englishtest/ielts/ target=_blank class=infotextkey>雅思寫作真題學(xué)生作文批改。本期雅思寫作題目是政府類話題，題目是：In some cities, the governments have tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hours. Do you think this development is positive or negative?下面請(qǐng)看雅思寫作思路指導(dǎo)及寫作批改。

適合人群：作文萬年5.5語法較好但找不出問題所在的雅思考生，作文6想在邏輯方面有所進(jìn)步?jīng)_擊7分的雅思考生。

雅思寫作題目要點(diǎn)：事件1：政府已經(jīng)努力在減少交通擁堵，事件2：政府采取了收高峰稅的辦法來減少交通擁堵

雅思寫作題目爭議點(diǎn)：“減少交通擁堵”肯定是positive，有什么值得爭議的?完全沒有!“通過收高峰稅去減少交通擁堵”真的完全positive或者negative嘛?不一定!收稅不一定能減少交通擁堵!這就是爭議!需要你去討論、表明自己態(tài)度并給出論據(jù)!

雅思寫作常見錯(cuò)誤

首段【1】作文一起筆就開始說中國的情況：雅思以全球各地廣泛存在的熱點(diǎn)話題作為作文題目，但不少人還是把它當(dāng)成四六級(jí)!

【2】改寫題目不準(zhǔn)確：這道題采用的是完成時(shí)態(tài)，即“這件事已經(jīng)做了，你來評(píng)價(jià)有效沒有”，而不是“有人建議應(yīng)該做這件事，你來預(yù)測下有效沒有”。所以恰當(dāng)?shù)母膶懯恰癟herefore，the government has chosen to levy congestion taxation on those who drive during peak time.”

【3】不亮明自己的觀點(diǎn)，只改寫下題目就不管了：一定要在首段亮明觀點(diǎn)，樹立好標(biāo)桿，讓考官直截了當(dāng)get到你的核心看法!就算還沒有確定是支持還是否定，最能給考官留下好印象的辦法是寫“The pros and cons of this policy will be briefly spelled out below”。

佳琪：There is no denying that traffic problem has become a serious issue in China【1】, especially in recent years. During rush hours, traffic jam can be easily found in many roads. So some people suggestedthat【2】 government should impose a congestion tax during rush hours.

主體段

【4】在主體段仍然大篇幅介紹話題背景，遲遲不亮明自己的觀點(diǎn)并展開論述。

【5】跑題，沒有抓住真正有爭議的地方：收稅能不能減少交通堵塞還不知道呢，就開始說收稅使交通堵塞減少之后的好處：減少廢氣和噪聲污染，對(duì)人們健康好/給人們節(jié)省時(shí)間，他們可以更好地工作學(xué)習(xí)/減少車禍，讓人們更安全…請(qǐng)問這是默認(rèn)了收稅就可以減少交通堵塞嗎?憑什么?!

佳琪(主1)：With the development of economic, people are increasingly migrating to big cities, the city where people live is getting larger and they may spend more time on commute. So more and more people bought cars to go to work, the continuous increase in the average of the car seems to have become a worldwide problem【4】. In rush hours， imposing a congestion tax can reduce traffic jam, because more people would get up early to take bus and subway. To some extent, this policy can make city moreenvironmentally friendly. Moreover ,with the congestion tax being imposed, drivers will pay more attention to traffic information, they will try their best to prevent traffic jam and drive away from the city’s main roads. When the city traffic jam gets less, workers can spend less time on the road, and can do a lot of useful things in the works on companion with their family【5】.

Teamo(主1): The administration’s imposing a traffic jam tax can bring some benefits to us. For government it can add revenue, than they can use the revenue to build public infrastructure. For citizens, it can make us healthy or safe. By imposing tax ,the use of car will reduce ,then the air pollution would get improved . It will cut down the harmful to our lungs. At the same time, it can slow down the rate of traffic accident【5】.

【6】通篇在支持“政府的確減少交通擁堵”，對(duì)Tax能不能減少擁堵視而不見：題目問this development是積極還是消極的，很多寶寶的問題就在于不知道this development到底是哪個(gè)development(是事件1“reduce traffic”還是事件2“impose tax”)。那么你反過來想想，減少交通擁堵難道是一件壞事?

Sherry(主1): Too many cars have an adverse impact on the environment. The emission of greenhouse gases have risen temperatures and caused smoggy days .Therefore, it is more easy for people to suffer from air pollution and get diseases .The noise pollution is also a disturbing factor .I think most of us may have experienced that we were awakened by it in the morning.【6】

【7】不理解讓步段使用對(duì)比手法的精髓，對(duì)比搞錯(cuò)主體，羅列觀點(diǎn)自說自話

a.事情沒有絕對(duì)的不好，只有在哪種情況下/對(duì)哪一類人群的、相對(duì)的壞，所以要削弱A的有效性，講“B有而A沒有的”，如“只是收稅，而不改善公共交通的效率，就無法吸引大家去乘公交，所以他們依然會(huì)愿意駕車，擁堵還是解決不了”，而不能像列清單一樣地說政府應(yīng)該做B因?yàn)锽好。

b.前面你支持的是“政府收稅在xx的情況下的確可以減少擁堵”，那么提出其他措施時(shí)就應(yīng)該說“還有其他方面政府應(yīng)該做，這些方面比收稅更能減少擁堵”，而很多寶寶卻寫成：個(gè)人也應(yīng)該做的能減少交通堵塞的事/能減少環(huán)境污染的其他措施。拿驢頭對(duì)馬嘴，大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)!

Teamo(主2): Meanwhile ，I think governments also can take some other measures to reduce car use . Firstly ，they can building up public transports to reduce the use of private cars. Secondly, limiting the license plate number is another way to reduce traffic. Thirdly,the government could raise environmental awareness amongst the general public , appealing citizens to reduce the use of car【7a】.

玥兒(主2)：There are also other ways, which are more beneficial to our environment 【7b】as well as solving the growing traffic. Firstly, traffic law plays an important role to regulate cars. For example, car lottery makes a huge difference on traffic condition, especially in the big cities like Beijing or Shanghai. Only a few lucky people have rights to buy a car and at least one day a week they are not allowed to drive on the street. What’s more, individuals should increase their traffic awareness, instead of shrinking their society responsibilities. People can also turn to some space-saving transportation like bicycles. This can relieve thetraffic congestion【7b】.

【8】過度論述，變成說明文：讓步段提出更有效的解決方法后，變身名詞解釋，用了足足39個(gè)詞給考官科普潮汐車道(tide line)是什么。對(duì)“是什么”的解釋雖然不可缺少，但論據(jù)的重點(diǎn)還是要去說明“為什么”，即為什么tide line比收稅有效，比如“Due to its flexibility to divert traffic,this method has been recognized and applied in many metropolitans.”

芥末檸檬(主2)：However, there are more important things behind imposing tax on people. Governments could make the transportations more reasonable. For instance, the governments could settidal lane ,which means if there is eight lines in a lane. In the morning, when people are going to work, it can use six lines towards to the central business district. And in the evening it turns to two lines. Many metropolitans are taking this method to release their transportation congestion.

結(jié)尾段【9】只有空洞的口號(hào)、呼吁：大作文看重的是嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)恼撌?切實(shí)的論據(jù)，不是簡單地只說“政府/大眾真的需要做點(diǎn)事!”，而是要具體總結(jié)出“做什么事+為什么”。

Teamo：Not only the state has the responsibility to reduce traffic ,but also our citizens .For more high quality of living , try our best to do something .Make the development of the society more sustainable.

雅思寫作正確思路

完全支持：收稅的確可以減少擁堵

1. 考慮到高昂的費(fèi)用，更多人會(huì)選擇公共交通而不是開私家車，道路上的車輛就可以減少。

2. 高峰稅可被政府用來投資改善公共交通，從而吸引更多人，減少私家車出行數(shù)量，由此減少擁堵。

部分支持：收稅能減少擁堵，但還有其他方面值得政府關(guān)注

1. 政府單純征稅，卻不注重公共交通質(zhì)量與效率的提升，人們還是更愿意駕駛私家車，擁堵依然解決不了。

2. 采用限號(hào)出行、設(shè)置潮汐車道等方式也可以減少擁堵，而且比收高峰稅靈活

以上就是本期的雅思寫作政府類話題作文批改示例。各位考鴨有錯(cuò)則該，無則加勉。提高雅思寫作的關(guān)鍵還在于多練習(xí)多思考，各位考鴨加油。

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