考研英語看圖作文范例點評:過度呵護
看圖作文在英語作文中是大家普遍缺乏練習的一種類型,一個提高的方式就是看范例和點評,針對其中的錯誤進行自我修正。
過度呵護:
寫作原文
From the picture above we can see that there are three trees in the picture, and one of them is growing very strongly.(用一般現在時,且strongly運用不合適。可改為one of them grows very well) However, the other two trees (去掉)look like very small. If you take a(去掉) careful notice, you'll find that a tree has become bend(bent) because of (去掉,因為后面是個句子)the big tree hostile his development. (the big tree holds back its growth)The drawer(drawer是抽屜的意思,painter) of the image aims at revealing a common phenomenon in our country, children today are generally spoiled. There are two major reasons for the problem. On one hand, as the reform of population policy, most families are allowed(加to have)only one child who is usually regarded as the "apple" of parent's(parents') eye. Therefore, parents are always try (trying) their best to provide their child with everything they want. On the other hand, lacking the awareness of bearing hardships is also an important reason that can not be ignored.I think it is imperative that we should take some effective measures. To begin with, our government can modify the policy that allows families to raise more than one students(child). In addition, the most (加effective或者important之類的形容詞) measure of all is that we should cultivate the sense of independence. Only in this way can we ameliorate the problem in the near future.
從上面我們可以看到,圖中有三棵樹的圖片,其中一個增長非常強勁。然而,其他兩樹看起來很小。如果你把一個仔細注意,你會發現一棵樹變得彎曲因為大樹敵對他的發展。抽屜的圖像,針對我國揭示一個普遍的現象,如今的孩子都被寵壞了。這個問題有兩個主要原因。一方面,由于人口政策的改革,大多數家庭是允許的只有一個孩子,通常被稱為“蘋果”的家長的眼睛。因此,父母總是嘗試最好的給自己的孩子提供他們想要的一切。另一方面,缺乏吃苦意識也是不可忽視的一個重要原因。我認為這是我們必須要采取一些有效的措施。首先,我們的政府可以修改政策,允許家庭提高了不止一個學生。此外,最測量都是我們應該培養獨立意識。只有這樣我們才能改善在不久的將來的問題。
總體點評
文章準確把握了試題的考察點,立意正確,內容較充實,有銜接,層次清楚,需注意以下問題:1、文章有些許語法錯誤,需檢查自己是由于粗心大意還是因為在名詞、形容詞、副詞等方面掌握有問題,加強自己的語法基礎;2、文章基本采用簡單句,應該注意句式變換,可適當模仿一些經典佳句,運用到自己的文章中,使文章有亮點;3、多積累一些相關的素材,使自己文章的內容更加深刻。在規定的時間完成作文后,多潤色幾遍,使其更上一個臺階。
參考分數(滿分20分):14
英語寫作水平的提升需要不斷地練習,在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步,不怕犯錯誤,怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。看了范文和點評,希望大家有思考,有提高。
學生Student 父親Father
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