愛情保鮮劑：對你的伴侶說這十句話
1. “I miss you.”
“If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” – Nicholas Sparks
Telling your partner you miss them through a simple text or email will make them feel needed, wanted, and appreciated. If you’re home with the kids while your partner is at work, send them a group family photo with a message like, “We can’t wait for you to get home!”
2. “How was your day?”
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” – J.K. Rowling
Resist the temptation to go on a tirade about how terrible your day was as soon as you walk in the door. This isn’t to say you can’t rant and rave about a bad day, but doing so without consideration of your partner’s life is self-centered.
3. “Do you remember that time we ______?”
“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.” – Keanu Reeves
Relationships have a way of losing that magical “spark” as the months and years go by. Reminding your partner of your most cherished memories together—like your first vacation together, or that one time you got busted making out in a mall elevator—will help you remember why your relationship is so special in the first place.
4. “How can I help?”
“I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” – Steve Maraboli
If you’ve ever panicked in the morning because you’re running late to work and can’t find your keys, you know there are few things more stressful than losing something at an inopportune time. Lighten your partner’s load by asking them how you can help when they appear stressed out or overburdened.
5. “What do you think?”
“When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said.” – Catherine Gilbert Murdock
Your relationship shouldn’t be a dictatorship, but rather a democracy. Ask your partner how they feel about all decisions big and small, from where to visit for summer vacation, to your children’s education.
6. “You’re so gorgeous/handsome/hot.”
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia
If you don’t compliment your partner, how can you expect them to feel wanted or appreciated? Tell them all about their strong-suits by saying things like:
Physical – “I love it when you smile, because you have the cutest dimples.”
Attitude – “I love how patient/thoughtful/kind/confident you are, because that makes me feel ______..”
Attire – “I can’t stop checking out your butt in those jeans” or “Hello, tiger… you look quite GQ in that suit today!”
7. “Let’s meet in the middle.”
“Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
It’s easy to become convinced that you’re 100% right during a nasty fight, but please resist the urge to be stubborn. Thinking your partner is wrong about something isn’t an excuse to discount how they feel. Let go of your need to be right and work together as a team.
8. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
“Every couple has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that’s the thing—you’re a couple, and couples can’t function without trust.” – Nicholas Sparks
Making a mistake is okay (within reason) as long as you’re humble enough to say you’re sorry and accept personal responsibility. Refusing to admit your mistakes, however, could turn what would have been a small squabble into an eternal dispute that destroys trust.
9. “Please” and “Thank you”
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough” – Oprah Winfrey
Tell me which one you’d rather hear from your partner:
Take the dog outside.
Hey honey, could you please take the dog outside? I’m tied up with the laundry right now, so I’d really appreciate it. Thanks!
Big difference, am I right?
10. “I love you.”
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” – Lao Tzu
No matter how long you’ve known a person, I can promise that those 3 words will never lose meaning.
1.“我想你了”
“如果我們的談話是抒情詩，笑聲是音樂，那么就讓我們一起度過的時間化作一首歌曲，一遍又一遍地播放也不會厭倦。”--尼古拉斯.斯帕克斯
即使用簡短的信息或是郵件告訴你的伴侶你很想念對方，這也會讓另一半覺得自己是被需要和欣賞的，會有人在意的。當你回到家和孩子們在一起，而另一半還在工作時，那就給對方發一張家人的合影吧，并告訴她(他)：“我們已經等不及你早點回家了!”
2.“你今天過得好么?”
“冷漠和忽視往往比坦誠的厭惡更加傷人”--J.K.羅琳
當你回到家時，不要急于去和你的伴侶去無休止地訴說你今天過得有多么糟糕。但這并不代表你不能發泄和抱怨這一天的惱火，而是要在說這些話時考慮到伴侶的感受，不能以自我為中心。
3.“你是否還記得我們那次——?”
“墜入情網和保持長久的關系是兩碼事。”--基努.里維斯
保持長久的關系也可能意味著隨著時間的推移你們之間的碰撞出的激情“火花”也在慢慢消逝。所以你要時常提醒伴侶你們這一路走來的珍貴記憶--比如說你們第一次的旅行，亦或是你們在商場的電梯里親熱被逮了個正著--諸如這些都會首先幫助你回憶起你們的關系為何如此的特別。
4.“我怎樣才能幫忙?”
“我想，當我們在一起的時候，你對我的愛不要僅僅只是流于言表，而更重要的是對我無微不至的關懷。”--史蒂夫.馬拉波利
如果你曾經因為上班遲到或者是鑰匙找不到了而感到過恐慌，那么你就自然會理解沒有什么事情比在這個不湊巧的時間丟東西更讓人抓狂了。當你的感到伴侶壓力過大而不堪重負時，安撫對方并問問你可以幫她(他)做什么。
5.“你怎么認為?”
“你沉默不語，于是有很多東西來不及說出口。”--凱瑟琳.吉爾伯特.默多克
你們之間的關系既不能成為獨裁主義，也不能過于民主自由。無論決定的大小，你都要問問你的伴侶的感受，比如說你們暑假到哪里旅游以及孩子的教育問題。
6.“你是如此的美麗/帥氣/性感迷人
“我們通常會低估撫摸、一個微笑、一句贊美、一只傾聽的耳朵、一句真誠的贊美、或是極小的關心的力量都有可能讓一個人的生活發生改變。”--里奧.巴斯卡利亞
如果你不會贊美你的伴侶，你又怎么能期望他們有被想念和欣賞的感覺呢?那么你就應該像這樣多贊美他們的長處：
身體上--“我最愛看你微笑起來時可愛的酒窩”
態度上--“我愛你是那么的有耐心、體貼人、善良、自信，因為那給我的感覺如此...——”
穿著上--“你穿的這條牛仔褲簡直無法讓我移開視線啊”或者“嗨，帥哥，你今天穿得真有型!”
7.“讓我們各退一步吧”
“妥協是最好而且低成本的律師”--羅伯特.路易斯.史蒂文孫
二人吵得不可開交時，雙方都容易變得很自信，認為自己才是百分之百正確的那一方。這時請克制住自己的情緒不要變得那么固執。你要想想，你的伴侶在某些事情上的錯誤并不能成為你忽視他們感受的理由。
不要再想著你總是正確的了，你們要像一個團隊一起工作。
8.“對不起，你才是對的。”
“每對夫妻都會吵架，感情生活總免不了磕磕絆絆，但是即便這樣--你們也是夫妻，如果彼此不信任就沒法共度此生。”--尼古拉斯.斯巴克斯
只要你足夠放下面子說聲抱歉并且勇于承擔，那么在合理范圍內犯錯誤時沒有關系的。但是如果你拒絕承認錯誤，那么本來只是小小的口角最終會演變成長期的矛盾，從而影響夫妻間的信任。
9.“請”和“謝謝”
“感激你現在所擁有的;你將會擁有更多。如果你只是關心你未曾得到的，你將永遠不會滿足。”--歐普拉.溫弗莉
告訴我你愿意從你的伴侶口中聽到哪一個：
出去遛狗。
親愛的，能請你出去遛遛狗么?我在陽臺晾衣服呢，你要是能去簡直是太好了。謝嘍!
二者差別很大，是不是?
10.“我愛你”
“被愛給予你力量，愛人給予你勇氣。”--老子
不管你和伴侶相愛多久，我保證這三個字永遠不會失去意義。
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