"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives. There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.

However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.

As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.

So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.

How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.

Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.

You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.

If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.

Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!

 

“你是唯一能讓自己幸福的人”。我們不止一次聽到這句話，有時候我 們認為它難以理解。現實生活中周圍的人會給你的心情造成很大的影響。一大早孩子就耍脾氣；狗狗昨晚把屋里搞得一團糟；上班的路上堵車；終于到了辦公室，與 你共事的同事卻打電話請病假...。這些事情都可能影響你這一天的幸福指數。

然而，幸福不同于心情和稍縱即逝的情緒。幸福是回顧自己生活時的會心微笑，因為知道會有這樣的時刻：孩子們不愿按時睡覺，可是過會兒再去查看時，他們已經天使一般睡的很甜，他們是你的天使。此刻，你已經完全忘記剛才的憤怒。這就是幸福。

生命不息，變化不止。漸漸地，我們認清自己，了解自己，明白我們肩上的重擔。我們知道一時的感激或憤怒只能短時間內撫平或激化我們的情緒。對自己的整體認識才是決定我們心境的因素。而幸福正取決于我們的心境。

那么，如何控制情緒并找到通往幸福之路呢？這個問題極為重要。與此相關的書數不勝數。你讀書，按照書中的指示練習，最終卻越來越迷惑；在余下的日子里回味之前的生活，找出帶給你幸福的元素，然而花費了更多的時間和精力，卻愈感挫敗。

我們不防試著這樣，首先審視自我，找出自己的喜好，并據此做出改變。大刀闊斧地變革并無必要。比如，你不喜歡現在的房子卻無力支付一個新房子，不妨重新粉刷臥室，或在餐桌上放瓶鮮花。再比如你很久沒有度假，對于腐敗旅游又囊中羞澀，那么去野營吧。

問題可能更私密或獨特。易怒？學習瑜伽或靜坐。婚姻不和諧？咨詢顧問。孩子不聽話？找出他們主要的問題，制定懲罰措施并嚴格執行。

你可能會說，“說起來容易，但是...”。當然，任何事情都是說起來容易做起來難。但是在很大程度上，你認為事情有多難，它就有多難。有時候，你夸大了問題的難度。

如果你的不幸源于你無法掌控的形勢，尋找其他方法。如果手頭非常緊，近期又不太可能有飛來橫財的話，那就選擇便宜一點的娛樂方式，比如在后院打球，公園里 野餐，躺在臥室里邊看電影邊吃爆米花和零食，偶爾晚上出去高消費一下。如果你的問題非常嚴重以至于感到渾身乏力、無計可施，趕緊去尋求幫助吧。

要不然，看著鏡子里的自己微笑吧。如果不喜歡自己看到的，試著改變。解決問題就是這么簡單！

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