the light inside

life is truly beautiful. just look at the trees: the leaves are green, the trunk is brown and the flowers are colorful.

i sat in the balcony of my house thinking about the beautiful redbud1 tree that was there, and the whiff of wet mud refreshed my memories again. i still remember that day. it was raining. i was staying in a house surrounded by trees. the sky was adorned with rain clouds. the eucalyptus tree in the garden swayed with joy and the air was filled with the sweet smell of wet mud. it was truly glorious.

it was summer and we had vacations. i had had a lot of fun going for picnics, learning to swim and climbing mountains. it had been a wonderful vacation. school was just a week away and i was very happy; i would be in a new class. well, let me not think about that as yet. i still had a week!

my friend came over and we were playing in the garden when we decided to climb a tree. it was a little slippery2 but i had to get up there and touch those tender green leaves. they are always softer than the others.

as i tried to reach it, i slipped and fell. the next thing i remembered was that i woke up. i tried to open my eyes, or i felt that my eyes were open, but i could not see anything but darkness. i knew i was in the hospital. i could smell it but the darkness that i saw was weird3. i mean i had been in darkness before; however, even when it is dark i could at least see something.

"how did i get here?" i thought. then i remembered playing with this friend of mine and now i knew i fell off the tree.

i must have moved because my mother held my hand. her small little podgy4 hands were so soft. she came and gave me a kiss. i wanted to see her so i said," mom, could you please switch on the light? it is too dark. i want to see you."

she sounded puzzled, "but the lights are on, sweetheart!"

i was confused. i touched my eyes. as i have mentioned, i felt them open but i wanted to make sure. "are you sure that the lights are on mummy, because i can’t see you?" i said.

suddenly i felt very scared. i wanted to see my mother. and then an idea flashed in my mind; it sent a shudder5 all over of me. i knew something had gone wrong with me. i felt that i had become blind and won’t be able to see again. "no, this can’t be true. this is not happening to me," i started to cry.

the doctors rushed in and immediately a series of tests were taken. then they gave me the news i already knew. i was depressed and angry.

i hated the world, and the only question i had was, why me?

i stayed this way for quite some time. everyone tried to cheer me up. my best friend came to see me every day and she told me stories about school. she read to me but i wanted to be in school too. it was my school!

so one day i walked up to my dad and told him, "daddy, i want to go to school." "that’s great!" my father exclaimed, "there is a new school not very far from here; i will get you admitted there."

"a different school? no! i want to go to my school," i said.

my father tried to explain that i would not be able to fit in, but i was adamant6. after some time he gave up.

"i am not going to a blind school," i thought.

a few weeks went by and i tried to occupy myself and not think of my eyes, but nothing helped. i was totally consumed by grief7. i was totally frustrated. i could not even get up and go to the living room by myself. i needed somebody all the time. i felt very dependent and helpless.

i was standing in my balcony wondering, "why me?" when it began to rain. the whiff of the wet mud smell filled my lungs and suddenly i felt someone whisper in my heart, "life is full of choices, so choose to be happy."