We agree with Reverend Maier when he writes that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creative and that transforms. However, Maier does not view love as being reserved for a perfect world."Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit that works in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into where nonsense appears to reign."

梅爾教士在他的著作中說，愛是一種改變生活的精神力量，我們同意他的觀點(diǎn)。愛是一種創(chuàng)造性的生活方式，并使我們的生活方式得以改善。不過梅爾并不把愛看成完美社會(huì)的專利。“愛是專門賜予我們這個(gè)有問題，不完善的世界的。愛注定就是在痛苦的環(huán)境下發(fā)揮精神威力的。愛就是要使看起來無意義的生活變得有意義。”

In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it livable.

換句話說，愛來到這個(gè)不完美的世界，使它可以適合人們居住。

Love is freeing. Love is freely given,not doled out on demand. At the same time, my love for you is not dependent on whether you fulfill my expectations of you. Authentic love does not imply "I'll love you when you become perfect or when you become what I expect you to become." Authentic love is not given with string attached  .There is an unconditional  quality about love.

愛是自由的行為，愛是自愿地付出，而不是在要求之下的施舍。同時(shí)，我對(duì)你的愛不取決于你是否滿足我對(duì)你的期望。真正的愛并不意味著“你成為一個(gè)完美的人，或是你成為我期望你成為的那種人時(shí)我才愛你”。真愛的付出是不帶條件的，愛的特性之一就是無條件。   

Love is expansive .  lf I love you, I encourage you to reach out and develop other relationships. Although our love for each other and our commitment to each other might bar certain actions on our parts,we are not totally and exclusively4, wedded to each other. It is a pseudo love that cements one person to another in such a way that he or she is not given room to grow. Casey and Vanceburg put this notion well.

愛是廣闊的。如果我愛你，我就鼓勵(lì)你向外發(fā)展，建立其他的人際關(guān)系。盡管我們之間的愛以及我們相互承擔(dān)的責(zé)任不允許我們做某些事情，但我們并不是完全徹底地栓在一起。把一令人和另一個(gè)捆綁在一起，而不給他發(fā)展空間，這是一種虛假的愛。凱斯和溫斯伯格把這個(gè)概念講得很好

The honest evidence of our love is our commitment to encouraging another's full development. We are interdependent'  personalities who need one another's presence in order to fulfill ourdestiny.And yet,we are also separate individuals. We must come to terms with our struggles alone。

我們相互承諾要鼓勵(lì)對(duì)方充分的發(fā)展，這就真實(shí)地證明了我們之間的愛。我們是互相依存的，為了完成自己的使命，需要對(duì)方的存在。但我們又是不同的個(gè)體，我們必須各自面對(duì)自己的奮斗。

Love means having a want for the person I love without having a need for that person in order to be complete. If I am nothing without you, then I'm not really free to love you. I love you and you leave, I'll experience a loss and be sad and lonely, but I'Il still be able to survive. If I am overly dependent on you for my meaning and my survival, then I am not free to challenge our relations; nor am I free to challenge and confront you. Because of my fear of losing you,I'll settle for.z less than I want,and this settling will surely lead to feelings of resentment. 

愛意味著我需要所愛的人，但不是缺了他就不行。如果我沒有你我就不能生存，那我根本就不能無拘無束的去愛你。我愛你，你離開了，我有失落感，我難過，我感到孤獨(dú)，但我還能支撐去。如果我的價(jià)值和我的生存過于依賴于你，那我就沒有審視我們之間關(guān)系的自由，我就沒有反駁你的自由，我也沒有與你當(dāng)面進(jìn)行爭(zhēng)辯的自由。由于我怕失去你，我就只有降低要求，而這種委曲求全肯定會(huì)引起我的不滿情緒。

Love means identifying with's the person I love. If I love you, I can empathize with you and see the world through your eyes.I can identify with you because I'm able to see myself in you and you in me. This closeness does not imply a continual "togetherness"for distance and separation are sometimes essential in a loving relationship. Distance can intensify a loving bond,and it can help us rediscover ourselves, so that we are able to meet each other in a way

愛就是要能夠理解自己所愛的人。如果我愛你，我就能與你有同樣的情感，我就通過你的眼睛去看世界。我能夠理解你是因?yàn)槲以谀闵砩峡吹搅宋易约海谖疑砩衔乙部吹搅四恪＿@種親密的關(guān)系并不是說要持續(xù)的“在一起”，因?yàn)榫嚯x和分別對(duì)于相愛來說有時(shí)是必要的。距離可以增強(qiáng)愛的聯(lián)系，距離還有助于重新發(fā)現(xiàn)自己，這樣我們就能夠以新的方式面對(duì)對(duì)方。

Love is selfish. I can only love you ifl genuinely love,value, appreciate, and respect myself. Ifl am empty, then all I can give you is my emptiness. Ifl fell that I'm complete and worthwhile in myself, then I'm able to give you out of my fullness. One of the best ways for me to give you love is by fully enjoying myselfwith you.

愛中充滿了自我，只有我能真正地愛自己，珍惜自己，欣賞自己，尊重自己，我才能愛你。如果我空虛，那么我能給你的只有空虛，如果我感到自己是完整的、有價(jià)值的人，那么我就能夠讓你分享我的充實(shí)。給予你我對(duì)你的愛，最好的一個(gè)方式就是和你一起充分享受我的一切。

Love involves seeing the potential with the person we love. In my love for another, I view her or him as the person he or she can become, while still accepting who and what the person is now. Goethe's observation   is relevant here: by taking people as they are, we make them worse, but by treating them as if they already were what they ought to be, we help make them better.

愛還包含能夠看到我所愛的人的潛力。我愛那個(gè)人，我一方面承認(rèn)他的現(xiàn)狀，另一方面我現(xiàn)在就視他為他將來能夠成為的那種人。歌德有一句與此相關(guān)的評(píng)論：我們?nèi)绻凑杖藗兊默F(xiàn)狀來對(duì)待他們，只能使他們?cè)絹碓讲睿前凑账麄儜?yīng)該達(dá)到的目標(biāo)來對(duì)待和要求他們，我們就會(huì)促使他們變得更好。

We conclude this discussion of the meanings  that authentic love has for us by sharing a thought from Fromm's The Art of Loving .His description of mature love sums up the essential characteristics of authentic love quite well;

我們把弗羅姆在《愛的藝最美麗的愛情術(shù)》里闡述的一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)介紹給大家，以此來結(jié)束我們對(duì)真愛含義的論述。他對(duì)成熟的愛的歸納極好地總結(jié)了真愛的基本特征:

Mature love is union under the condition of preserving one's integrity,one's individuality.In love this paradox occurs that two beings becomes become one and yet remain two.

成熟的愛是兩個(gè)人的結(jié)合，但又不是各自的完整和特性。愛中有這種矛盾現(xiàn)象;合二為一，卻又一分為二。

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