男人篇：Men's Rules That Women Should Know

We guys always hear the rules from our women. Here are Our rules.
我們男人總是聽女人制訂的規(guī)則，而以下就是我們男人的規(guī)則。

1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
有困難時，除非你們需要人幫忙解決，否則不要來找我們。我們就是幫你解決問題的。如果為了博取同情，請去找你們的女朋友。

2 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
哥倫布不需要有人給他指點航行方向，我們也不需要。（我們男人開車的時候，你們女人最好不要亂指方向。）

3 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
你們女人可以請我們做事或者告訴我們該怎么做。但是你們不能在求我們做事的同時還要告訴我們該如何做。如果你們已經(jīng)知道怎么做最好，那么就請你們自己做吧。

4 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
如果我們問你們怎么了，而你們說“沒事”，那我們只能裝作沒事一樣。我們不是不知道你們在說謊，只是覺得不值得為此小題大做而已。

5 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you
do not want to hear.
如果你們女人問我們一個不想知道答案的問題，那么請做好去聽你不想聽到的答案的心理準備。

6 If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.
如果你們女人覺得自己胖，那么你大概就是胖。不要過來問我們。

7 Most guys own three pairs of shoes--tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
我們男人大多只擁有三雙鞋——這很好。難道你們女人會以為我們男人善于從30雙鞋子中挑出與你們的衣服相配的那一雙嗎？

8 Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
way. 
逛街購物不是做運動，永遠都不是。男人永遠不會將二者等同而看。

9 BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
啤酒之于我們就像手提包之于你們，會令人興奮異常。

10 Thank you for reading this. Yes. I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
謝謝你們女人看完上述條目。是的，我們知道今晚我們得睡沙發(fā)，但是你們知道么，睡沙發(fā)猶如露營，我們一點不在乎。

女人篇: What Women Say and What They Mean

If you (men) have a good knowledge of these WORDS WOMEN USE, you have a better than average chance of actually surviving a negative encounter.
如果男人能很好地掌握這些“女士用語”，那么就會有更大的把握化險為夷。

1 FINE：很好
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
爭吵中，如果女人說了這個詞，就意味著她覺得自己很對，你該閉嘴了。

2 FIVE MINUTES：5分鐘
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
女人換衣服時，5分鐘相當于半小時。如果她給你5分鐘的時間看球賽然后幫她整理房間的時候，那么5分鐘就是5分鐘而已。

3 NOTHING：沒什么
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
沒什么意味著“有什么”，而且麻煩大了，所以你要保持警覺。女人說“沒什么”的時候通常是在想怎么來來回回折騰你?！皼]什么”一般表示一場爭論要持續(xù)“五分鐘”，還會以“很好”作為結(jié)束。

4 GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)：往下說（同時挑起眉毛）
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
這意味著一種挑戰(zhàn)。女人說這話時會因為“沒什么”而心煩意亂，然后再以“很好”這個詞來結(jié)束對話。

5 GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)：往下說（同時表情正常）
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
這意味著“我不管了”或者“想干什么就干吧，我可不在意”。然而數(shù)分鐘后，你就會聽到“挑起眉毛的‘往下說’”，緊接著是“沒什么”和“很好”，而且她會和你談大概“五分鐘”的時間，直到她冷靜下來。

6 LOUD SIGH：大聲嘆息
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over "Nothing".
這不是一句話，而是非言辭的一種表達，它常被男人誤解。女人大聲嘆息意味著她認為那一刻的你實在是一個白癡，而且不明白自己為什么浪費了這么多時間站在這里來跟你爭論一些“沒什么”的事情.

7 THAT'S OKAY：還好
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
女人對男人所能說出的最危險的話之一就是that's okay?！斑€好”意味著她在報復你所做過的事之前要好好地想上一段時間。從某種程度上來說，你很快就會碰到非常大的麻煩了。

8 PLEASE DO：請這樣
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
這不是普通的陳述，而是一個提議。女人說這句話的目的其實是給男人一個為其所作所為找個借口或理由的機會。你也可以說實話，但得小心謹慎，這樣就不會聽到"That's Okey"。

9 THANKS：謝謝
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say "you're welcome".
女人對你說謝謝的時候，別犯暈，說一聲“不客氣”就可以了。

10 THANKS A LOT：多謝
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticking off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".
這句“多謝”大大有別于“謝謝”。當女人其實在責備你時，她會說：“多謝”。這表明你已經(jīng)無情地觸犯了她，接下來，你會聽到“大聲的嘆息”。注意不要在女人“大聲嘆息”之后關懷她，因為她只會以“沒什么”來回應你。

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