BEC寫作:BEC名師點評網友作文第六期
本期作文題目:
You are a manager at an auditors called Golding & Co. Your company has just merged with a competitor to become MasonGolding. You have been asked to inform stafff of the change of name.
Write a memo of 40-50 words:
informing staff of the new name.
telling them when to start using the new name.
asking staff to use only the new name after that time.
樣本 Sample writing (46 words)
TO: All staff
From: Mr. Port
I would like to inform you that, following the recent merger with Mason and Son, the new name for our company will be MasonGolding. This name becomes official on 12th, Nov.2008. Please note that from this time, the new company name only should be used.
Thank you.
網友作文一:
TO: ALL STAFF
FROM: MANAGER
SUBJECT: CHANGE THE COMPANY NAME
As you know, (our company has merged last week)[1]. We decide to change the name. [2] From July. 8th the company name changes to MasonGolding.
Please pay attention to use the new name for[3] instead when you have a meeting with client. [4]
Thank you
_________________________________________
[1]這句話明顯是中文的痕跡,譯成中文,中國人可以理解,外國人肯定不能。
[2]既然并購就意味著要換公司的名字,怎么是we decide?在商務英語的寫作中,主語一般都選擇客體代詞,避免應用主觀性很強的句子。
[3]Instead 可以直接放在句尾,不用介詞。
[4]這個范圍也太有限了,難道只有和客戶見面才用新名稱么?整句改為:please use the new name officially from then
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