Task2
　　Long-distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses in many years and pollutes the air. Some people think non-essential flights should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree
　　Nowadays, as the world’s connection becomes more and more close, there are many chances for people to go to other countries. It’s obvious to see that flying is a quick and convenient way to get to our destination. But there is a problem arising: Long-distance flight consumes large amount of fuel and pollutes the air, should non-essential flights be banned or not? My answer to this question is definitely yes. (70words)
　　結(jié)構(gòu)點(diǎn)評(píng)：3+1’的模式，最后一句表達(dá)了自己的觀點(diǎn)。內(nèi)容上也符合要求，前3句是改寫(xiě)題目，引入話題，最后一句是全文的總觀點(diǎn)。
　　語(yǔ)言方面：作者的英語(yǔ)水平（憑我的猜測(cè)）應(yīng)該是可以的，但是寫(xiě)出來(lái)的句子總給我感覺(jué)怪怪的！比如there is a problem arising，應(yīng)該是there arises a problem.但是從語(yǔ)法方面來(lái)說(shuō)是沒(méi)有錯(cuò)的，意思么我也能看懂。這應(yīng)該就是傳說(shuō)中chinese english的最高境界吧。此外，It’s obvious to see也犯了相同的錯(cuò)誤。Obvious本身就是easy to see的意思，這里應(yīng)該不需要to see，否則就畫(huà)蛇添足了！
　　其次，第1段就寫(xiě)了70個(gè)詞，好像寫(xiě)得太多了，考試的時(shí)候可以適當(dāng)減少點(diǎn)。第1段給我的印象一般，起評(píng)分：6分。
　　Several reasons can be used to illustrate that,（應(yīng)該是句號(hào)，而且這句話要么寫(xiě)在第1段最后，要么就不要寫(xiě)） firstly, people cause too many pollutions today which greatly affect our living environments. For example, in some highly-polluted cities we can see sunshine no longer and we can hear no chirps of birds. We can’t experience the beauty of nature just because we polluted it so heavily. There is no reason for us to aggravate this pollution by adopting so many flights. （70words）
　　結(jié)構(gòu)點(diǎn)評(píng)：1’+3的模式。看到這里我發(fā)現(xiàn)作者寫(xiě)作時(shí)，對(duì)結(jié)構(gòu)的概念還是比較清晰的，但是語(yǔ)言方面可能受母語(yǔ)的影響，讓我看了總不是很舒服！首先，第1句話是廢話，可以略去。內(nèi)容上，總覺(jué)得把同樣的內(nèi)容換個(gè)表達(dá)方式說(shuō)了幾遍，此外pollution或pollute用的太多，導(dǎo)致給人的感覺(jué)很羅索，內(nèi)容又比較空洞。
　　語(yǔ)言方面：乍看之下沒(méi)有什么特別嚴(yán)重的問(wèn)題。只是表達(dá)的時(shí)候，多樣性做的實(shí)在很差。不過(guò)需要說(shuō)明的是，對(duì)于作文目標(biāo)是6分的同學(xué)來(lái)說(shuō)，完全可以不追求多樣性！
　　Secondly, since now（語(yǔ)言上是正確的，可是一般不會(huì)這么寫(xiě)，會(huì)造成歧義） the world’s resources become so scarce, we should try our best to limit the use of non-renewable resources and to exploit these resources which cause no pollution to environment. Now that Long-distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses in many years（不要照抄題目給的原文，給考官的印象很不好！）, why we still use it so frequently? Besides, there is an advantage if we choose train or other ways instead of plane, because we can enjoy the wonderful scenery of passing places（這么說(shuō)，總覺(jué)得不舒服）, while on the plane we can see nothing but the sky.
　　According to what I had said（應(yīng)該是have said吧！）, I have every reason to believe that it is not only necessary but also beneficial to ban non-essential flights.(256 words)
　　綜合點(diǎn)評(píng)：整篇文章結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰，有自己的觀點(diǎn)，也有論證。缺點(diǎn)是論證的并不好，特別是內(nèi)容上有待提高，雖然雅思考試對(duì)內(nèi)容的要求不是特別高，但也不能寫(xiě)得太過(guò)牽強(qiáng)！語(yǔ)言方面沒(méi)有什么太大的亮點(diǎn)，幸好也沒(méi)有什么明顯的錯(cuò)誤，這個(gè)是值得大家學(xué)習(xí)的！anyway，這是一篇比較樸實(shí)的文章。
　　總評(píng):6分。

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