Lesson 39 What every writer wants 作家之所需

   I have known very few writers, but those I have known, and whom Irespect, confess at once that they have little idea where they are going whenthey first set pen to paper. They have a character, perhaps two; they are inthat condition of eager discomfort which passes for inspiration; all admitradical changes of destination once the journey has begun; one, to my certainknowledge, spent nine months on a novel about Kashmir, then reset the wholething in the Scottish Highlands. I never heard of anyone making a ‘skeleton’, as we weretaught at school. In the breaking and remaking, in the timing, interweaving,beginning afresh, the writer comes to discern things in his material which werenot consciously in his mind when he began. This organic process, often leadingto moments of extraordinary self-discovery, is of an indescribable fascination.A blurred image appears; he adds a brushstroke and another, and it is gone; butsomething was there, and he will not rest till he has captured it. Sometimesthe yeast within a writer outlives a book he has written. I have heard ofwriters who read nothing but their own books; like adolescents they standbefore the mirror, and still cannot fathom the exact outline of the visionbefore them. For the same reason, writers talk interminably about their ownbooks, winkling out hidden meanings, super-imposing new ones, begging responsefrom those around them. Of course a writer doing this is misunderstood: hemight as well try to explain a crime or a love affair. He is also,incidentally, an unforgivable bore.

This temptation to cover the distance between himself and thereader, to study his image in the sight of those who do not know him, can behis undoing: he has begun to write to please.

A young English writer made the pertinent observation a year or twoback that the talent goes into the first draft, and the art into the draftsthat follow. For this reason also the writer, like any other artist, has noresting place, no crowd or movement in which he may take comfort, no judgmentfrom outside which can replace the judgment from within. A writer makes orderout of the anarchy of his heart; he submits himself to a more ruthlessdiscipline than any critic dreamed of, and when he flirts with fame, he istaking time off from living with himself, from the search for what his worldcontains at its inmost point.

　　我所認識的作家寥寥無幾，然而凡是我所認識和尊敬的作家，都立即承認在他們動筆時，不清楚要寫什么，怎么寫。他們心中有一個或兩個角色。他們處于急切不安的狀態，而這被當作是靈感。他們無不承認，一旦“旅程”開始，“目的地”常有急劇的變化。據我所知，有位作家花了9個月的時間寫了一部有關克什米爾的小說，后來卻把整個故事背景換成了蘇格蘭高地。我從未聽說過任何一位作家像我們在學校學的那樣，動筆前先列什么提綱。作家在剪裁修改、構思時間、穿插情節、以至從頭重寫的過程中，會領悟到素材中有很多東西是他剛動筆時所未意識到的。這種有機的加工過程往往達到不尋常自我發現的境界，具有難以言表的構思魅力。一個朦朧的形象出現在作家的腦海里，他左添一筆，右添一筆，形象反而消逝了;可是，好像還有什么東西存在著，不把它捕捉到，作家是不會罷休的。有時，一個作家一本書寫完了，但興奮仍不消散。我聽說一些作家，除了自己的書外，別的書一概不讀，猶如希臘神話中那位漂亮少年，站在鏡前，不能辨認出自身的真面目。由于這個原因，作家喋喋不休地談論自己的書，挖掘其隱晦的含義，增添新的含義，詢問周圍人的反應。作家如此行事當然會被人誤解。他還不如給人講一個犯罪案件或一個戀愛故事。順便說一句，他也是個不可饒恕的令人厭煩的人。

　　這種企圖消除自己和讀者之間距離的作法，企圖用不了解自己的人的觀點來研究自己塑造的形象的作法，會導致作家的毀滅，因為他已經開始為取悅他人而寫作了。

　　一兩年前，一位年輕的英國作家發表了中肯的看法。他說，初稿是才華，以后各稿是藝術。也是由于這個原因，作家同任何藝術家一樣，找不到可休息的場所，找不到伙伴和活動使自己得到安逸。任何局外人的判斷也比不上他自己內心的正確判斷。一旦作家從內心的紊亂中理出頭緒，就應按任何評論家想像不到的無情規范約束自己去寫作;當他沽名釣譽時，他就脫離了自我生活，脫離了對自己靈魂最深處世界的探索。

 

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