Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:

生活有時候困難得難以置信，但又不容置疑。我們面臨的挑戰與困境似乎無法抵御，試圖毀滅我們生活，甚至使你猶疑是否繼續走下去。但是你總有選擇的余地。從人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯樂普，在這里與我們分享她啟迪心靈、充滿震撼力的生活之旅。

In 2012 I had the worst year of my life.

2012年是我生活中最艱難的一年。

I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.

我做著討厭的財務工作，住在難尋綠色的高樓林立的城市。我忙于無意義的交往，在一些膚淺表面的東西上大筆開銷。我尋找快樂，卻又不知道它在哪里。

Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.

然后我患上了慢性疲勞綜合癥，幾乎到了臥床不起的地步。我不得不辭掉工作，同時也就斷了財源。我和那時僅相處了3個月的男友住在一起，經濟上完全依賴于他，我們的關系承受著巨大壓力。終于我恢復健康，但不久，我接到家里的電話，父親的癌癥急劇惡化，已經住進了臨終關懷中心。

I left the city and I went home to be with him.

我離開了城市，回家陪父親。

He died 6 months later.

6個月之后，他去世了。

My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.

父親的事讓我徹底清醒。他一直很強壯，在他咽氣之后一分鐘里，我真的認為，他會活過來。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他溫暖的懷抱里，享受他寬大的胸懷帶給我的安全感。

The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.

母親和我們5個兄弟姐妹極為難過，但至少我們還擁有彼此。

But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.

但是，那時我大姐開始抱怨著背痛，2個月后，因疼痛加劇也住進了醫院。

They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.

醫生們檢查發現，她已是骨癌晚期，對此他們已無能為力。

She died 1 month later.

1個月之后，她也走了。

I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.

大姐的逝去讓我陷入難以形容的痛苦之中。

She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.

在這個世界上，她是一個能走路、會說話的天使，我最喜歡的人。如果有人問我，世界上發生的最壞的事情是什么，那就是失去她。

She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.

她是我的靈魂伴侶，我從來沒有想過，我會走過沒有她陪伴的生命旅程。

The Moment Of Deliberate Choice

抉擇時刻

The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.

我被打擊和極度的心痛擊挎了。強烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中變得如此凄涼。我沒有真正意義上的家，沒有錢，沒有工作，也沒有關心我的朋友。沒有一個人因我失去親人而寄給我慰問卡。

I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.

我嘗試著活下去，結果住進了醫院。

I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.

我記得，躺在病床上，看著天花板，看到姐姐美麗的面龐。她整夜守候著我。

I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.

那天晚上，我意識到我可以選擇。要么結束生命，要么活下去。

I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.

望著姐姐的眼睛，我決定不跟她走。我要留下來，走完我的生命旅程。

I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less.

同時，我還決定，不只為生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。

In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time.

在那一刻，這一想法第一次清晰得如同一盞在黑暗閃爍的明燈。好像腳下的地球版塊變換了，每一樣東西在我眼前都真實得前所未有。

The Blossoms Of My Newly Chosen Life

我的生活之花重新綻放了

Since then I have begun to shape the most beautiful life for myself.

從那時起，我開始為自己塑造最美麗的生活。

I now live in an adorable stone cottage in a stunningly green, luscious region of the UK amongst woodlands and lakes.

現在，我住在英國一棟迷人的小石屋里，綠樹掩映，與湖為伴，景色美麗宜人。

I have a deeply harmonious, joyful relationship with my amazing boyfriend, who’s gone through all this with me and we are very happy together.

我的男友很好，我們的關系和諧美好，他曾伴我度過那段艱難時期，現在我們一起分享著快樂。

I write a blog that inspires others to live the life that they love. It is what I know I was born to do and it truly makes my heart sing.

我寫博客，激勵他人過他們喜歡的生活。我知道這是我生來要做的事情，它真正使我感受到發自內心的快樂。

I am making new friends with beautiful souls all around the world.

我和世界上有著美好心靈的人交朋友。

I practise gratitude for my life every single day and I feel the abundance in everything I have now.

每一天，我滿懷對生活的感激之情，我滿足于我現在擁有的一切。

I spend quality time with the rest of my precious family and cherish every moment I have with them.

我與心愛的家人共度快樂時光，珍惜與他們相處的每一刻。

I have written a bucket list and am already manifesting so much of which I have always dreamed.

我列出愿望清單，它很大程度上體現了我一直以來夢想。

I connect with my heart often to ensure that I am always following my joy.

我時常與心交流，確保做著喜歡的事。

I love myself more deeply every day.

我一天比一天更愛自己。

I live authentically now.

現在我真正地活著。

Waking Up

清醒

It took something powerfully transformative in my life to make me wake up. Wake up to some fundamental truths of life.This life is a gift if you want to accept it. No matter what the obstacle, you can make your life abundant with joy and you can live authentically.

生活中一些重大變化使我清醒，使我意識到生活的基本真理。如果你愿意接受生活，它就是禮物。無論遭遇任何困難，你總能讓生活充滿快樂，真正地生活。

Not a day goes by when I don’t miss my father’s huge character or my beloved sister’s gentle brown eyes, but I know that I will be with them one day for an eternity. What I have now is so precious and so fleeting that I must grasp the joy in every moment I can, and treat it as the gift that it is.

沒有哪一天，我不思念父親溫暖的懷抱或至愛的姐姐溫柔的棕色眼睛，但是，我知道，終有一天我會與他們相聚。我現在擁有的是如此珍貴、如此易逝，我必須盡情享受每一刻的歡愉，將其視為上帝的饋贈。

You choose life every day. But do you choose the life that you love every day?

每一天，你選擇生活。但是，你是否每一天都過著想要的生活?


 

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