As with our colleges， so with a hundred "modern improvements"；there is an illusion about them； there is not always a positive advance.  The devil goes on exacting compound interest to the last for his early share and numerous succeeding investments in them. Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys， which distract our attention from serious things.  They are but improved means to an unimproved end， an end which it was already but too easy to arrive at； as railroads lead to Boston or New York.  We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas； but Maine and Texas， it may be， have nothing important to communicate.  Either is in such a predicament as the man who was earnest to be introduced to a distinguished deaf woman， but when he was presented， and one end of her ear trumpet was put into his hand， had nothing to say.  As if the main object were to talk fast and not to talk sensibly.  We are eager to tunnel under the Atlantic and bring the Old World some weeks nearer to the New； but perchance the first news that will leak through into the broad， flapping American ear will be that the Princess Adelaide has the whooping cough.  After all， the man whose horse trots a mile in a minute does not carry the most important messages； he is not an evangelist， nor does he come round eating locusts and wild honey.  I doubt if Flying Childers ever carried a peck of corn to mill.

　　One says to me， "I wonder that you do not lay up money； you love to travel； you might take the cars and go to Fitchburg today and see the country."  But I am wiser than that.  I have learned that the swiftest traveller is he that goes afoot.  I say to my friend，Suppose we try who will get there first.  The distance is thirty miles； the fare ninety cents.  That is almost a day's wages.  I remember when wages were sixty cents a day for laborers on this very road.  Well， I start now on foot， and get there before night； I have travelled at that rate by the week together.  You will in the meanwhile have earned your fare， and arrive there some time tomorrow， or possibly this evening， if you are lucky enough to get a job in season.  Instead of going to Fitchburg， you will be working here the greater part of the day.  And so， if the railroad reached round the world， I think that I should keep ahead of you； and as for seeing the country and getting experience of that kind， I should have to cut your acquaintance altogether.

　　Such is the universal law， which no man can ever outwit， and with regard to the railroad even we may say it is as broad as it is long.  To make a railroad round the world available to all mankind is equivalent to grading the whole surface of the planet.  Men have an indistinct notion that if they keep up this activity of joint stocks and spades long enough all will at length ride somewhere， in next to no time， and for nothing； but though a crowd rushes to the depot， and the conductor shouts "All aboard！" when the smoke is blown away and the vapor condensed， it will be perceived that a few are riding， but the rest are run over ―― and it will be called， and will be， "A melancholy accident."  No doubt they can ride at last who shall have earned their fare， that is， if they survive so long，but they will probably have lost their elasticity and desire to travel by that time.  This spending of the best part of one's life earning money in order to enjoy a questionable liberty during the least valuable part of it reminds me of the Englishman who went to India to make a fortune first， in order that he might return to England and live the life of a poet.  He should have gone up garret at once.  "What！" exclaim a million Irishmen starting up from all the shanties in the land， "is not this railroad which we have built a good thing？"  Yes， I answer， comparatively good， that is， you might have done worse； but I wish， as you are brothers of mine， that you could have spent your time better than digging in this dirt.

　　正如我們的學院，擁有一百種“現代化的進步設施”；對它們很容易發生幻想；卻并不總是有肯定的進步。魔鬼老早就投了資，后來又不斷地加股，為此他一直索取利息直到最后。我們的發明常常是漂亮的玩具，只是吸引我們的注意力，使我們離開了嚴肅的事物。它們只是對毫無改進的目標提供一些改進過的方法，其實這目標早就可以很容易地到達的；就像直達波士頓或直達紐約的鐵路那樣。我們急忙忙要從緬因州筑一條磁力電報線到得克薩斯州；可是從緬因州到得克薩斯州，也許沒有什么重要的電訊要拍發。

　　正像一個人，熱衷地要和一個耳聾的著名婦人談談，他被介紹給她了，助聽的聽筒也放在他手里了，他卻發現原來沒有話要對她說。仿佛主要的問題只是要說得快，卻不是要說得有理智。我們急急乎要在大西洋底下設隧道，使舊世界能縮短兒個星期，很快地到達新世界，可是傳入美國人的軟皮搭骨的大耳朵的第一個消息，也許是阿德萊德公主害了百日咳之類的新聞。總之一句話，騎著馬，一分鐘跑一英里的人決不會攜帶最重要的消息，他不是一個福音教徒，他跑來跑去也不是為了吃蝗蟲和野蜜。我懷疑飛童有沒有載過一粒谷子到磨坊去。

　　有一個人對我說，“我很奇怪你怎么不積幾個錢；你很愛旅行；你應該坐上車，今天就上菲茨堡去，見見世面嘛。”可是我比這更聰明些。我已經明白最快的旅行是步行。

　　我對我的朋友說，假定我們試一試，誰先到那里。距離是三十英里，車票是九角錢。這差不多是一天的工資，我還記得，在這條路上做工的人一天只拿六角錢。好了，我現在步行出發，不要到晚上我就到達了；一星期來，我的旅行都是這樣的速度。那時候，你是在掙工資，明天的什么時候你也到了，假如工作找得巧，可能今晚上就到達。然而，你不是上菲茨堡，而是花了一天的大部分時間在這兒工作。由此可見，鐵路線盡管繞全世界一圈，我想我總還是趕在你的前頭；至于見見世面，多點閱歷，那我就該和你完全絕交了。

　　這便是普遍的規律，從沒有人能勝過它；至于鐵路，我們可以說它是很廣而且很長的。使全人類得到一條繞全球一圈的鐵路，好像是挖平地球的表面一樣。人們糊里糊涂相信著，只要他們繼續用合股經營的辦法，鏟子這樣子鏟下去，火車最后總會到達某個地方的，幾乎不要花多少時間，也不要花什么錢；可是成群的人奔往火車站，收票員喊著“旅客上車！”煙在空中吹散，蒸氣噴發濃密，這時可以看到少數人上了車，而其余的人卻被車壓過去了，這就被稱做“一個可悲的事故”，確是如此。毫無疑問，掙到了車資的人，最后還是趕得上車子的，就是說，只要他們還活著，可是說不定那時候他們已經失去了開朗的性情和旅行的愿望了。這種花了一個人的生命中最寶貴的一部分來賺錢，為了在最不寶貴的一部分時間里享受一點可疑的自由，使我想起了那個英國人，為了他可以回到英國去過一個詩人般的生活，他首先跑到印度去發財。他應該立即住進破舊的閣樓去才對。“什么！”一百萬個愛爾蘭人從土地上的所有的棚屋里發出呼聲來了，“我們所造的這條鐵路，難道不是一個好東西嗎？”是的，我國答，比較起來，是好的，就是說，你們很可能搞得更壞；可是，因為你們是我的兄弟，我希望你們能夠比挖掘土方更好地打發你們的光陰。

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