Where I Lived, and What I Lived For1
At a certain season of our life we are accustomed to consider every spot as the possible site of a house. I have thus surveyed the country on every side within a dozen miles of where I live. In imagination I have bought all the farms in succession, for all were to be bought, and I knew their price. I walked over each farmer's premises, tasted his wild apples, discoursed on husbandry with him,took his farm at his price, at any price, mortgaging it to him in my mind; even put a higher price on it ―― took everything but a deed of it ―― took his word for his deed, for I dearly love to talk ――cultivated it, and him too to some extent, I trust, and withdrew when I had enjoyed it long enough, leaving him to carry it on. This experience entitled me to be regarded as a sort of real-estate broker by my friends. Wherever I sat, there I might live, and the landscape radiated from me accordingly. What is a house but a sedes, a seat? ―― better if a country seat. I discovered many a site for a house not likely to be soon improved, which some might have thought too far from the village, but to my eyes the village was too far from it. Well, there I might live, I said; and there I did live, for an hour, a summer and a winter life; saw how I could let the years run off, buffet the winter through, and see the spring come in. The future inhabitants of this region, wherever they may place their houses, may be sure that they have been anticipated. An afternoon sufficed to lay out the land into orchard, wood-lot, and pasture, and to decide what fine oaks or pines should be left to stand before the door, and whence each blasted tree could be seen to the best advantage; and then I let it lie, fallow, perchance, for a man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.
My imagination carried me so far that I even had the refusal of several farms ―― the refusal was all I wanted ―― but I never got my fingers burned by actual possession. The nearest that I came to actual possession was when I bought the Hollowell place, and had begun to sort my seeds, and collected materials with which to make a wheelbarrow to carry it on or off with; but before the owner gave me a deed of it, his wife ―― every man has such a wife ―― changed her mind and wished to keep it, and he offered me ten dollars to release him. Now, to speak the truth, I had but ten cents in the world, and it surpassed my arithmetic to tell, if I was that man who had ten cents, or who had a farm, or ten dollars, or all together. However,I let him keep the ten dollars and the farm too, for I had carried it far enough; or rather, to be generous, I sold him the farm for just what I gave for it, and, as he was not a rich man, made him a present of ten dollars, and still had my ten cents, and seeds, and materials for a wheelbarrow left. I found thus that I had been a rich man without any damage to my poverty. But I retained the landscape, and I have since annually carried off what it yielded without a wheelbarrow. With respect to landscapes,
"I am monarch of all I survey,My right there is none to dispute."
I have frequently seen a poet withdraw, having enjoyed the most valuable part of a farm, while the crusty farmer supposed that he had got a few wild apples only. Why, the owner does not know it for many years when a poet has put his farm in rhyme, the most admirable kind of invisible fence, has fairly impounded it, milked it, skimmed it, and got all the cream, and left the farmer only the skimmed milk.
到達我們生命的某個時期,我們就習慣于把可以安家落戶的地方,一個個地加以考察了。正是這樣我把住所周圍一二十英里內(nèi)的田園統(tǒng)統(tǒng)考察一遍。我在想象中已經(jīng)接二連三地買下了那兒的所有田園,因為所有的田園都得要買下來,而且我都已經(jīng)摸清它們的價格了。我步行到各個農(nóng)民的田地上,嘗嘗他的野蘋果,和他談談稼穡,再又請他隨便開個什么價錢,就照他開的價錢把它買下來,心里卻想再以任何價錢把它押給他;甚至付給他一個更高的價錢,――把什么都買下來,只不過沒有立契約,――而是把他的閑談當作他的契約,我這個人原來就很愛閑談,――我耕耘了那片田地,而且在某種程度上,我想,耕耘了他的心田,如是嘗夠了樂趣以后,我就揚長而去,好讓他繼續(xù)耕耘下去。這種經(jīng)營,竟使我的朋友們當我是一個地產(chǎn)拍客。其實我是無論坐在哪里,都能夠生活的,哪里的風景都能相應地為我而發(fā)光。家宅者,不過是一個座位,――如果這個座位是在鄉(xiāng)間就更好些。我發(fā)現(xiàn)許多家宅的位置,似乎都是不容易很快加以改進的,有人會覺得它離村鎮(zhèn)太遠,但我覺得倒是村鎮(zhèn)離它太遠了點。我總說,很好,我可以在這里住下;我就在那里過一小時夏天的和冬天的生活;我看到那些歲月如何地奔馳,挨過了冬季,便迎來了新春。這一區(qū)域的未來居民,不管他們將要把房子造在哪里,都可以肯定過去就有人住過那兒了。只要一個下午就足夠把田地化為果園、樹林和牧場,并且決定門前應該留著哪些優(yōu)美的橡樹或松樹,甚至于砍伐了的樹也都派定了最好的用場了;然后,我就由它去啦,好比休耕了一樣,一個人越是有許多事情能夠放得下,他越是富有。
我的想象卻跑得太遠了些,我甚至想到有幾處田園會拒絕我,不肯出售給我,――被拒絕正合我的心愿呢,――我從來不肯讓實際的占有這類事情的傷過我的手指頭。幾乎已實際地占有田園那一次,是我購置霍樂威爾那個地方的時候,都已經(jīng)開始選好種子,找出了木料來,打算造一架手推車,來推動這事,或載之而他往了;可是在原來的主人正要給我一紙契約之前,他的妻子――每一個男人都有一個妻子的――發(fā)生了變卦,她要保持她的田產(chǎn)了,他就提出賠我十元錢,解除約定。現(xiàn)在說句老實話,我在這個世界上只有一角錢,假設我真的有一角錢的話,或者又有田園,又有十元,或有了所有的這一切,那我這點數(shù)學知識可就無法計算清楚了。不管怎樣,我退回了那十元錢,退還了那田園,因為這一次我已經(jīng)做過頭了,應該說,我是很慷慨的羅,我按照我買進的價格,按原價再賣了給他,更因為他并不見得富有,還送了他十元,但保留了我的一角錢和種子,以及備而未用的獨輪車的木料。如此,我覺得我手面已很闊綽,而且這樣做無損于我的貧困。至于那地方的風景,我卻也保留住了,后來我每年都得到豐收,卻不需要獨輪車來載走。關于風景,――我勘察一切,像一個皇帝,誰也不能夠否認我的權利。
我時常看到一個詩人,在欣賞了一片田園風景中的最珍貴部分之后,就揚長而去,那些固執(zhí)的農(nóng)夫還以為他拿走的僅只是幾枚野蘋果。詩人卻把他的田園押上了韻腳,而且多少年之后,農(nóng)夫還不知道這回事,這么一道最可羨慕的、肉眼不能見的籬笆已經(jīng)把它圈了起來,還擠出了它的牛乳,去掉了奶油,把所有的奶油都拿走了,他只把去掉了奶油的奶水留給了農(nóng)夫。
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