Is Fire Goddess Spelled with Two “D”s ?
When I was eight years old， I saw a movie about a mysterious island that had an erupting 1）volcano and 2）lush jungles filled with wild animals and 3）cannibals. The island was ruled by a beautiful woman called Tondalaya， the Fire Goddess of the Volcano. It was a terrible low budget movie， but to me， it represented the perfect life. Being chased by 4）molten 5）lava， blood thirsty animals and savages was a small price to pay for freedom. I desperately wanted to be the Fire Goddess. I wrote it on my list of things to be when I grow up， and I asked my girlfriend if Fire Goddess was spelled with two “D”s.
Through the years， the school system did its best to mold me into a no nonsense， responsible， respectable citizen， and Tondalaya was forgotten. My parents approved of my suitable marriage and I spent the next 25 years being a good wife， eventually the mother of four， and a very respectable responsible member of society. My life was as 6）bland and boring as a bowl of 7）oatmeal. I knew exactly what to expect in the future. The children would grow up and leave home， my husband and I would grow old together， and we'd baby-sit the grandchildren.
The week I turned 50， my marriage came to a sudden end. My house， furniture and everything I'd owned was auctioned off to pay debts I didn't even know existed. In a week I had lost my husband， my home and my parents who refused to accept a divorce in the family. I'd lost everything except my four teenage children. I had enough money to rent a cheap apartment while I looked for a job or I could use every penny I had to buy five plane tickets from Missouri to the most remote island in the world， the big island of Hawaii. Everyone said I was crazy to think I could just run off to an island and survive. They predicted I’d come crawling back in a month. Part of me was afraid they were right.
The next day， my four children and I landed on the big island of Hawaii with less than $2，000， knowing no one in the world was going to help us. I rented an unfurnished apartment where we slept on the floor and lived on 8）cereal. I worked three jobs 9）scrubbing floors on my hands and knees， selling 10）macadamia nuts to tourists and gathering coconuts. I worked 18 hours a day and lost 30 pounds because I lived on one meal a day. I had panic attacks that left me curled into a knot on the bathroom floor shaking like a 11）shell-shocked soldier.
One night as I walked alone on the beach， I saw the red orange glow of the lava pouring out of Kilauea Volcano in the distance. I was 12）wading in the Pacific Ocean， watching the world's most active volcano， and wasting that incredible moment， because I was 13）haunted by the past， exhausted by the present and terrified of the future. I'd almost achieved my childhood dream but hadn't realized it， because I was focused on my burdens instead of my blessings. It was time to live my imagination not my history. Tondalaya， the Fire Goddess of the Volcano had finally arrived.
The next day， I quit my jobs and invested my last 14）paycheck in art supplies and began doing what I loved. I hadn't painted a picture in 15 years， because we barely 15）scratched out a living on the farm in Missouri， and there hadn't been money for the tubes of paint， and canvas and frames. I wondered if I could still paint or if I had forgotten how. My hands trembled the first time I picked up a brush. But before an hour had passed， I was lost in the colors spreading across the canvas in front of me. I painted pictures of old sailing ships and as soon as I started believing in myself， other people started believing in me， too. The first painting sold for $1，500 before I even had time to frame it.
The past six years have been filled with adventures. My children and I have gone swimming with 16）dolphins， watched 17）whales and hiked around the 18）crater rim of the volcano. We wake up every morning with the ocean in front of us and the volcano behind us. The dream I had more than 40 years ago is now reality. I live on an island with a continuously erupting volcano. The only animals in the jungle are wild 19）boars and 20）mongooses and there aren't any cannibals. But often in the evening， I can hear the drums from native dancers on the beach.
I'm free for the first time in my life. I am Tondalaya， the Fire Goddess of the Volcano， spelled with two “D”s and I'm living happily ever after.
八歲的時候，我看了一部電影：在神秘的島嶼上有一座噴發的火山和蔥蘢的叢林，叢林里有許多野生動物與食人族。統治島嶼的美麗女子是火山的火女神，名叫彤達拉雅。那是部糟糕的低成本電影，然而對我而言，它表現了完美的人生。受熔巖漿、嗜血動物和野人追逐是換取自由的一個小小代價。我極度渴望成為火女神。我將此列入長大之后要成為的清單中，并問女友火女神的寫法是否有兩個“D”。
多年過去，學校教育將我塑造成一個正統、負責、可敬的公民，我忘記了彤達拉雅。父母滿意我那門當戶對的婚姻，隨后25年我成為一名好妻子，是四個孩子的母親，是可敬而負責的社會一員。生活平靜乏味得像碗燕麥粥。未來于我了然于胸：兒女長大、離家，與丈夫白首偕老，帶養孫子孫女。
在我50歲的那個星期，婚姻突然結束了。房子、家具、我擁有的一切全給拍賣掉，用來償還那些我從未知曉存在過的債款。一周之內我失去了丈夫、家園以及父母- -他們對家里出現離婚心存抗拒。除了我四個年少的孩子，我失去了一切。我的錢夠用來在找工作的同時租一所廉價公寓，或者我可以傾盡積蓄買五張機票從密蘇里飛往天涯海角――夏威夷的大島。人人都認為我打算逃到一個島上還認為能夠活下去的想法太荒唐了。他們預測不用過一個月，我準會爬著回來。我隱隱地害怕他們是對的。
次日，四個孩子與我登上夏威夷的大島，帶的錢不足兩千美元，明白這世界上無人能夠幫助我們。我租下一間沒有家具的公寓，我們睡在地板上，以谷物為糧。我有三份工作：跪擦地板、向游客兜售澳洲堅果、采集椰子。我每天工作18個小時，由于一天只吃一頓，體重下降了30磅。焦慮侵襲著我，我蜷曲在浴室的地板上，抖得像個患了炮彈震蕩癥的士兵。
一天夜晚，我走在沙灘上，看到遠處乞勞伊阿火山噴出橙紅色的巖漿。我正在太平洋岸趟水，觀看著世界上最活躍的火山，然而我卻白白地浪費了這精彩的一刻，因為過去讓我掛懷，現在讓我疲憊，而未來又讓我懼怕。我只看到重擔而沒看到幸福，所以毫沒意識到自己幾乎已經實現了童年的夢想。那一瞬間，我忘記了往昔，想象再次蘇醒了！彤達拉雅――火山的火女神――終于到來了。
第二天，我辭去工作，把最后一筆薪水全花在藝術用品上，開始做起自己喜歡的事情來。15年以來我不曾畫過一張畫，因為在密蘇里農場我們只是勉強糊口謀生，何況還沒有錢買顏料、畫布和畫框。我懷疑自己是否還能畫，懷疑是否還記得怎么畫。第一次拿起畫筆時，我的手都顫抖起來。還沒到一個鐘頭，我就給涂在面前畫布上的色彩弄得不知所措起來。我畫的是古老的船只，等我漸漸拾起自信時，別人也開始對我有了信心。第一張畫我還沒來得及裝框就賣出了1500美元。
過去的六年充滿了冒險經歷。孩子們與我和海豚一起游泳，觀看鯨魚，攀登火山口。每天早晨醒來，我們的前方是大海，后方是火山。我40多年前的夢想如今化為現實。我居住的島上火山不斷噴發，森林中只有野豬、貓鼬，沒有食人族。而傍晚時分，我常常能聽到土著在海灘上跳舞的鼓聲。
有生以來我第一次感到如此自由自在。我就是火山的火女神彤達拉雅，名字的寫法是兩個“D”，而且從此以后我一直幸福地生活著。
1、 volcano n. 火山
2、 lush a. 青蔥的
3、 annibal n. 食人者，吃同類的動物
4、 molten a. 熔化的
5、 lava n. 熔巖，火山巖
6、 bland a. 冷漠的，缺少刺激的
7、 oatmeal n. 燕麥粥，燕麥片
8、 cereal n. 谷類食品
9、 scrub v. 擦洗
10、 macadamia n. 澳洲堅果樹
11、 shell shock 炮彈震蕩癥，戰時精神病
12、 wade v. 涉水注釋：
13、 haunt v. 心頭縈繞
14、 paycheck n. 支付薪水的支票
15、 scratch out 勉強做某事
16、 dolphin n. 海豚
17、 whale n. 鯨魚
18、 crater n. 火山口，噴火口
19、 boar n. 公豬，野豬
20、 mongoose n. 貓鼬
本文地址：http://www.hengchuai.cn/writing/essay/54478.html
