幾部幽默故事－出門在外(Classic Humor Stor
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My First and My Last第一次與最后一次
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
喬治35歲時買了架小型飛機，并開始學習駕駛。不久，他就能很嫻熟地駕機做各種各樣的特技飛行了。
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
喬治有個朋友名叫馬克。一天，喬治主動邀請馬克乘他的飛機上天兜一圈。馬克心想，“我乘大客機飛行過好幾次，還從來沒有乘過小飛機，我不妨試一試。”
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
升空后，喬治飛了有半個小時，在空中做了各種各樣的飛行特技。
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
后來他們著陸了。馬克很高興能夠安全返回地面。他用顫抖的聲音對他的朋友說：“喬治，非常感謝你讓我乘小飛機做了兩次飛行。”
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
喬治非常吃驚地問：“兩次飛行？”
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”馬克答道。
First Flight第一次坐飛機
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關于飛行事故的報道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由于朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終于被說服了，登上了飛機。
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
過了一兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是？”
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." “那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”
A Nail Or A Fly?釘子還是蒼蠅？
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在墻上有只蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以后，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
于是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
這里，老人回到了房里。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往墻上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
I'll See to the Rest其余的事由我負責
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
一位車上的列車員剛發出信號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負責。”
New Discovery新發現
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
一個鄉下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走進一座大樓，看見一個歲數很大的矮胖女人邁進一個小房間。房間的門隨后關上，有幾個燈在閃亮。一會兒，門開了，電梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
鄉下人驚奇地眨著眼睛，慢吞吞地說：“我應該把我的老婆帶來!”
本文標題：幾部幽默故事－出門在外(Classic Humor Stor - 英語笑話_英文笑話_英語幽默小故事When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
喬治35歲時買了架小型飛機，并開始學習駕駛。不久，他就能很嫻熟地駕機做各種各樣的特技飛行了。
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
喬治有個朋友名叫馬克。一天，喬治主動邀請馬克乘他的飛機上天兜一圈。馬克心想，“我乘大客機飛行過好幾次，還從來沒有乘過小飛機，我不妨試一試。”
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
升空后，喬治飛了有半個小時，在空中做了各種各樣的飛行特技。
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
后來他們著陸了。馬克很高興能夠安全返回地面。他用顫抖的聲音對他的朋友說：“喬治，非常感謝你讓我乘小飛機做了兩次飛行。”
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
喬治非常吃驚地問：“兩次飛行？”
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
“是的，我的第一次和最后一次。”馬克答道。
First Flight第一次坐飛機
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關于飛行事故的報道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由于朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終于被說服了，登上了飛機。
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
過了一兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻一樣小，是不是？”
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." “那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”
A Nail Or A Fly?釘子還是蒼蠅？
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在墻上有只蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩只瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。一個女服務員發現發生的事情以后，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
于是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
這里，老人回到了房里。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往墻上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員沖進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。
I'll See to the Rest其余的事由我負責
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
一位車上的列車員剛發出信號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負責。”
New Discovery新發現
A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
一個鄉下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走進一座大樓，看見一個歲數很大的矮胖女人邁進一個小房間。房間的門隨后關上，有幾個燈在閃亮。一會兒，門開了，電梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
鄉下人驚奇地眨著眼睛，慢吞吞地說：“我應該把我的老婆帶來!”
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