英漢雙語笑話36
Impudent Questions
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
"Does your husband drink?"
"Why-er-no, not to excess," was the astonished reply.
"How much does he make?"
"He doesn't work, " said the lady. "He is a capitalist."
"You keep out of debt, I hope?"
"Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?"
"Impudent?" said the little girl. "Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that."
無禮的問題
一個住在城東貧民區的小女孩獲得邀請，參加一位貴婦人為城東貧民區的孩子們舉行的花園晚會。
在一棵開滿了白色小花兒的櫻桃樹下，小女孩坐在柔軟的草地上，一邊品嘗著她的茶和梅子蛋糕，一邊對貴婦人說：“你的丈夫酗酒嗎？” “呃，呃，不，他喝得不多。”夫人一臉驚詫。
“他掙多少錢？”
“他不工作，”夫人回答說，“他是個資本家。”
“我希望你們沒有負債吧？”
“當然沒有，孩子。你問這么些無禮的問題到底是想說什么呢？”
“無禮？”小女孩說，“怎么會呢，夫人？媽媽要我的舉止一定要象夫人們一樣，當她們到我們家做客的時候，她們總是那樣問我媽媽的。”
2.
Go Barefoot
In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.
Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.
When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."
光著腳去
中學的時候，我對自己的高度非常敏感。
一次，一位救生員約我出去。事實上，我從未和他并肩站過，因而不知道他到底有多高。因此約會那晚，我拿出兩雙鞋，一雙高跟，一雙平跟。我安排哥哥去開門，讓他和救生員比比高度，再上樓告訴我應穿哪雙鞋。
門鈴響了，我在樓上等著。哥哥跑上樓告訴了我一個不幸的消息：“你可以光著腳去約會。”
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