英漢雙語笑話8

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1.

蝙蝠的問題

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away."

　　Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.""

　　The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!"

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經(jīng)請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走?！?

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一只也沒有再回來過?！?

2.

反正我太太明天會來換的

My Wife Will Exchange Them

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.

″Makes no difference ″replied customer.

″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.

″Any″ he responded.

″Size﹖″

″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″

反正我太太明天會來換的

一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。

“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。

“沒什么區(qū)別?！边@位顧客回答。

“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。

“什么顏色都成。”他回答。

“號碼呢？”

“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的?！?br>
3.

something Really Cheap

something Really Cheap

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

“How about some perfume？”he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“That’s a bit much,”said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

“That’s still quite a bit,”Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

“What I mean,”said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”

The clerk handed him a mirror.

真正便宜的東西

做完生意回來后，提姆覺得應該給妻子帶點什么禮物回去。

“那些香水怎么賣啊？”他問賣化妝品的售貨員。售貨員給他展示了一支價值50美元的香水。

“看起來好像有點貴哦！”提姆說道。于是售貨員又拿出一款30美元的香水。

“還是貴了點?！碧崮繁г沟馈?

售貨員開始有點惱火了，就給提姆一瓶很小的香水，價值15美元。

“我的意思是，”提姆說，“我想看看一些真正便宜的東西。”

售貨員聽了后，遞給了提姆一面鏡子。

4.

Now We Run

　　A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

　　現(xiàn)在我們跑吧

一個牧師正沿著街走路，這時他看到街對面有個小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門鈴。但這個小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不著。看到那個小男孩費了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優(yōu)雅地穿過馬路，走到小家伙的背后，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問道：“接下來怎么辦，孩子？”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑?！?

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