英漢雙語笑話11
Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦？
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！
2.
Bet
“ I want you to help me stop my son gambling. ” an anxious father said to his boy's principal. “ I don't know where he gets it from, but it's bet, bet, bet. ”
“ Leave it to me, ” said the principal.
A week later he phoned the boy's father. “ I think I've cured him,” he said.
“ How? ”
“ Well, I saw him looking at my beard and he said, ” I bet that's a false beard, “ How much? I said, and he said $ 5 ”
“ What happened ? ” asked the father.
“ Well he tugged my beard which is quite natural and I made him give me $5. I'm sure that'll teach him a lesson! ”
“ No, it won't,” said the father. “He bet me $10 on Monday that he'd pull your beard with your permission by the end of the week! ”
“ 我想你幫我制止我兒子賭博。 ” 一位焦急的父親對兒子的校長說。 ” 我不知道他從哪兒學來的，總是賭 , 賭 , 賭。 ”“ 交給我吧！ ” 校長說。
一周后，他打電話給男孩的父親。 “ 我想我已使他改邪歸正。 ” 他說。
“ 怎么辦到的？ ”
“ 噢，他看著我的胡子，然后說： ‘ 我打賭那是假胡子。 ' ‘ 賭多少錢？ ' 我問，他說 5 美元。 ”
“ 后來怎樣？ ” 父親問道。
“ 于是他拉扯了我的胡子后，知道那是貨真價實的，我就要他給我 5 美元。我敢肯定我給了他一個教訓。 ”
“ 不行，那沒用。 ” 父親說。 “ 星期一他和我賭了 10 美元，說周末他可以讓你允許他拔你的胡子！ ”
3.
Whose Father Was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
威爾和比爾在為誰的父親更強壯而爭吵。威爾說： “ 喏，你知道太平洋嗎？就是我爸爸為它挖的洞。 ”
比爾不屑一顧： “ 噢，那沒什么。你知道死海嗎？那是我爸爸殺死的。 ”
4.
I Need Your Football
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
喬冶敲著他朋友家的門。當朋友的媽媽來應門時，他問：“阿爾伯特可以出來玩嗎？ ”
“ 不行， ” 那位媽媽說， “ 天氣太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那么， ” 喬冶， “ 他的足球可以出來玩嗎？ ”
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