英漢雙語笑話32

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1.

I Wasn't Asleep

　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,

and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我沒有睡著

　　當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！”

　　　 “我沒有睡著。”那個(gè)男人回答。

　　　 “沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？”

　　　 “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已。”

2.

The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可憐的丈夫

“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的。”

3.

Where is the father?

　　　 Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　　 "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　　 "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　　 The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父親在哪兒？

　　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　　 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

　　　 “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

　　　哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄。”

4.

Your Coat Is on Fire

The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.

The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: "Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!"

您的大衣著火了

　　老師為了讓學(xué)生記住先思考后發(fā)言，告訴他們在說出重要事情之前先數(shù)到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數(shù)到100。第二天，當(dāng)老師背靠著火爐講課時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)好幾個(gè)學(xué)生的嘴唇在很快地不停地動。突然，全班學(xué)生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了！”

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