英漢雙語(yǔ)笑話(huà)106

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1.

Stunning Reply 出色的回答

My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, "Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?"

　　He thought for a moment and then replied, " A restaurant?"

出色的回答

　　我在準(zhǔn)備晚飯的時(shí)候，我叫年僅五歲的兒子把玩具都收拾起來(lái)。當(dāng)我問(wèn)他為什么沒(méi)做他的差事時(shí)，他說(shuō)他不想做。我感到有些惱火，就對(duì)他說(shuō)：“要是我說(shuō)我不想做晚飯，這時(shí)你會(huì)在哪里呢？”

　　他略加思索便回答說(shuō)：“在飯店里？”

2.

Mom was very proud that she'd lost ten pounds. On the way to the store with my husband and me she talked of little else. We dropped her off in the lingerie department, but when we returned, we couldn't find her. Thinking she might be in the fitting room, I asked the saleswoman if she had seen my mother. "What does she look like?" the clerk asked.

　　My husband said simply, "She just lost ten pounds.

　　"Third door on the left." the woman replied with a smile.

節(jié)食族

　　媽媽為她減肥十磅而非常自豪。在和我們小兩口一起去商場(chǎng)的路上，她別無(wú)所談。我們把她送到女內(nèi)衣部，在那兒分手，但當(dāng)我們回來(lái)找她時(shí)，卻找不見(jiàn)她。我想她也許會(huì)在試衣室，就問(wèn)售貨員是否見(jiàn)過(guò)我母親。“她長(zhǎng)得什么樣？”這位職員問(wèn)。

　　我丈夫直截了當(dāng)?shù)卣f(shuō)：“她剛減了十磅?！?

　　“左邊第三個(gè)門(mén)，”女售貨員笑瞇瞇地回答。

3.

An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry, " the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale: "

　　"Please, " the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "

　　"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.

　　"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "

　　"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"

貓與托盤(pán)

　　一個(gè)古董收集者正路過(guò)一個(gè)小店。他發(fā)現(xiàn)店前人行道上一只貓?jiān)谔蛞粋€(gè)托盤(pán)上的牛奶。這個(gè)人立刻意識(shí)到這個(gè)托盤(pán)是個(gè)值錢(qián)的古物。他帶著一種毫無(wú)興趣的表情步入店內(nèi)，要買(mǎi)那只貓。“對(duì)不起，”店主說(shuō)，“這只貓是不賣(mài)的。”

“賣(mài)給我吧，”收集者敦促道，“我家里面需要一只貓來(lái)捉老鼠。我給你20元?！?

　　“貓歸你了，”店主接過(guò)錢(qián)說(shuō)道。

　　“還有，”收集者補(bǔ)充道，“我想你是否能把那只舊盤(pán)子也額外贈(zèng)送給我。貓好像很喜歡它。我不愿意看到它失去這東西。”

　　“對(duì)不起，”店主回答說(shuō)，“但那只托盤(pán)能給我?guī)?lái)好運(yùn)。你不知道，光這一周，我就賣(mài)掉68只貓！”

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