英漢雙語笑話123

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1.誰暗殺了林肯"Who killed Abraham Lincoln*?" the teacher asked her seventh-graders**. Everyone but John raised a hand to answer. " Do you know, John?" she asked. "Dammit***, I don't know and I don't care!" the boy yelled, arms crossed. "Stop asking questions." Upset, the teacher kept John after class and called his father for a conference****. "What's the problem?" John's dad asked when he arrived. "Why is my son in detention?" "I asked John who killed Abe Lincoln and he cursed and said he didn't know and didn't care, and told me to stop asking him questions." Furious, the man grabbed John by the collar. "What's your problem, son?" he shouted. "If you killed the man, just say so." 一名老師問一個初一班級的學生， “誰暗殺了林肯？”除約翰外，所有學生均舉起手來。老師走過去問約翰，“你知道答案嗎？”約翰雙手交叉，大聲叫道，“xxx,我不知道，也不在乎。不要再問我問題了?！? 老師感到很沮喪，課后把約翰留下來，并打電話讓約翰的爸爸過來開個會。約翰的爸爸到了之后，問老師， “我兒子怎么了，為什么被您留下來？” 老師說，“我問他，誰殺了林肯，他開始罵人，說他不知道也不在乎，并要我不再問他任何問題?！? 約翰的爸爸非常生氣，抓起兒子的衣領，吼道，“兒子呀，你究竟怎么了？如果是你殺了人，你就承認啊?！?2.我老婆的照片A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. 　　一個生意人走進一家酒館，在吧臺坐下，點了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務員把杯子滿上。After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. 　　喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務生幫他把杯子滿上。The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." 　　這時酒館的服務生說話了，“呃，老兄，我整個晚上給你倒martini都沒有問題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."　　生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開始變得好看起來，那就說明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”

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