英語笑話笑死人不償命53: 先享受后付款(雙語)
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先享受后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,
花花公子杰克喜歡到世界各地探險(xiǎn)，和許多妓女風(fēng)流，
but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.
但在香港，他終于遇到一名職業(yè)神女，這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor.
首先他請(qǐng)教了一名英國(guó)醫(yī)生。
"Goocl Lord!" exclaimed the medic,
“我的天啊！”醫(yī)生叫道，
"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have to amputate. "
“你所患的性病比一本醫(yī)學(xué)教科書還要豐富，恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,
花花公子心生恐懼，便找了一位美國(guó)?？漆t(yī)師幫忙，但那名?？漆t(yī)師表情凝重地?fù)u頭說：
"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "
“對(duì)不起，小兄弟，如果我們不切除那活兒，病毒將會(huì)感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.
那名風(fēng)流公子走投無路，便向一位中醫(yī)請(qǐng)教。
The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.
這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細(xì)檢查病人后煞有介事地點(diǎn)頭說道：
"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "
“我知道你的問題。你和壞女人亂搞，她的性病很嚴(yán)重，你現(xiàn)在的病情也很嚴(yán)重。…
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off. . . "
“大夫，英國(guó)和美國(guó)的醫(yī)生都說我的東西必須要切除……”
"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "
“這些西醫(yī)所做的就是切，切，切，然后收一大筆錢。”
"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用動(dòng)外科手術(shù)？！”年輕人喜出望外地問道。
"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner.
“別擔(dān)心，”老中醫(yī)師說：
"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."
“回家去，好好休息一陣，等二三個(gè)星期后，那活兒會(huì)自己掉下來。”
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