I do not know if you have noticed, but there's been a spate of books that have come out lately contemplating or speculating on the cognition and emotional life of dogs. Do they think, do they feel and, if so, how? So this afternoon, in my limited time, I wanted to take the guesswork out of a lot of that by introducing you to two dogs, both of whom have taken the command "speak" quite literally.

不知各位是否留意到， 最近陸續上架了 一些新書， 作者嘗試對狗的認知和情感生活 進行解讀。狗是否思考“狗”生？ 是否也有七情六欲？ 今天下午，我想借此機會， 不揣淺陋，對它們的內心世界大膽猜測。 我會談到兩條狗， 它們借我之口，娓娓而談， 款吐心曲。

The first dog is the first to go, and he is contemplating an aspect of his relationship to his owner, and the title is "A Dog on His Master.

先來聽聽第一條狗， 它試圖對自己與主人的關系， 做一個剖析。我給這段獨白 加了一個標題——《人狗奇戀》。

"As young as I look, I am growing older faster than he. Seven to one is the ratio, they tend to say. Whatever the number, I will pass him one day and take the lead, the way I do on our walks in the woods, and if this ever manages to cross his mind, it would be the sweetest shadow I have ever cast on snow or grass."(Applause)

“這一刻，我雖然年輕、矯健， 但是，時光的鼓點如此密集、急促， 七比一， 正是我與他走向各自終點的速度。 終有一天，我會走在前頭。 回想林中漫步的歡洽， 如果有一天他會想起， 愿那雪地和草坪上的嬉戲， 成為彼此珍藏一生的心跡。”

Thank you.

謝謝。

And our next dog speaks in something called the revenant, which means a spirit that comes back to visit you.

第二條狗，仙逝多年， 像一個歸來的亡魂，對它昔日的主人 訴說陰陽兩隔、歲月更替 都無法化解的恩怨。

"I am the dog you put to sleep, as you like to call the needle of oblivion, come back to tell you this simple thing: I never liked you." (Laughter) "When I licked your face, I thought of biting off your nose. When I watched you toweling yourself dry, I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap. I resented the way you moved, your lack of animal grace, the way you would sit in a chair to eat, a napkin on your lap, a knife in your hand. I would have run away but I was too weak, a trick you taught me while I was learning to sit and heel and, greatest of insults, shake hands without a hand. I admit the sight of the leash would excite me, but only because it meant I was about to smell things you had never touched. You do not want to believe this, but I have no reason to lie: I hated the car, hated the rubber toys, disliked your friends, and worse, your relatives. The jingling of my tags drove me mad. You always scratched me in the wrong place." (Laughter) "All I ever wanted from you was food and water in my bowls. While you slept, I watched you breathe as the moon rose in the sky. It took all of my strength not to raise my head and howl. Now, I am free of the collar, free of the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater, the absurdity of your lawn, and that is all you need to know about this place, except what you already supposed and are glad it did not happen sooner, that everyone here can read and write, the dogs in poetry, the cats and all the others in prose."

“我就是那條被你注射致死的狗， 你說那一針會讓我忘卻此生的恩仇。 我回來告訴你一件事： 我從來沒有喜歡過你。” （笑聲） “每次舔你臉龐時， 真想一口咬下你的鼻子。 每次看你用毛巾擦身， 真想猛撲上去，了斷你的命根。 我厭惡你的粗鄙與笨拙， 全無我們動物的敏捷與優雅。 你習慣坐在椅子上吃東西， 腿上鋪著餐巾，雙手舉著刀叉。 我早想棄你而去， 無奈年老體衰，只能寄人籬下。 還記得當年， 你訓練我端坐、跟隨， 我被迫遭受奇恥大辱—— 你教我與人握手，你明知道我只有爪！ 我承認，那條皮帶讓我興奮不已， 因為你會牽著我，去聞一些奇怪的東西， 而你自己小心翼翼，唯恐避之不及。 說來你不會相信， 但我無意隱瞞： 我恨你的車，討厭車里的橡膠玩具， 憎惡你的狐朋‘豬’友，詛咒你的遠親近鄰。 那叮當響的項圈讓我抓狂， 還有，你連撓癢都撓不到地方。” （笑聲） 添衣加被，讓我吃飽喝足， 這就是你為我做的的全部。 還記得那時，常聽著你的鼾聲， 凝望屋外一輪圓月徐徐升起。 我一聲不吭， 壓抑自己：不要張望，不要悲泣。 現在，我永獲自由， 沒有禁錮我的項圈，沒有惡俗的黃雨披， 沒有繡著我名字的汗背心， 也沒有草地上的荒誕不經。 這些，就是我要和你講的一切， 關于家，關于詩歌中的狗， 關于散文里的貓和其他動物。 也許，你認為這些稀松平常， 這里每一個人都能和你分享。 但這就是我特意回來 的用意所在。

Thank you.(Applause)

謝謝。

單詞筆記：
1.a spate of： 大量的 ；一連串
2.come out：出現；出版
3.contemplate：沉思；注視；思忖；預期
4.revenant: 亡魂
5.speculate: 推測；投機；思索(speculate on 推測；考慮 )
5. take the guesswork out of: 猜測
6.take the command：接到指令，接受命令
7.take the lead：帶頭；為首
8.oblivion：n. 遺忘；湮沒；赦免
9.bite off:咬掉
10.monogrammed：adj. 有交織字母的；有花押字的

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