2015考研英語看圖作文范例點評：網絡的“近”與“遠”
編輯整合了一系列考研英語作文，并附有批注和全文的點評，希望大家能夠通過不同的話題，針對范例中的錯誤進行自我修正，從而提高寫作水平。
2015考研英語看圖作文范例點評：網絡的“近”與“遠”
寫作原文
As is shown in the picture the humans (加who are)divided alone keep contact with each other by internet. Every one owns a computer ,which is their mainly(mainly為副詞，用來修飾動詞;mean為名詞，需要用形容詞來修飾，可改為main) mean(改為way或means，mean為“平均值，意思”;而means為“手段，方法”) to contact out(改為with the outside world).In addition,there are spider net between everyone(改為it just like a spider net),which lead the people alone.The picture revealed(時態保持一致，改為reveals) a current social phenomenon that people dependent(改為depend，從句謂語部分應用動詞) extravagantly on the internet rather than the normal conversation. The spider net is a great metaphor of the soul-wall(改為the gap between two hearts),which alienate(改為alienates，保持主謂一致)us,meanwhile,it is a net relate(改為relate to) us. What’s more(加逗號) worrisome(改為the worrisome thing;worrisome為形容詞，不能做主語) is that they not only contact with strangers with(改為by，by表示“通過某種方式”) the net,but also families. It is a dangerous game! Maybe,it would make the families destruction(改為destructive,注意make sb./sth. + adj.的正確使用).In my opinion,though the association in internet itself gives little cause for criticism(句子表意不清，建議改為the internet itself should not give much criticism),people should use it in a proper way. Chatting with strangers or distant fellows by computer is OK,but it is indispensable for us to use it in(改為with) close friends. To have a good result,the society should encourage the people to focus more on the real world and the people themselves should enrich their lives and thoughts.
總體點評
本篇文章存在一些簡單的語法錯誤，且說服力不夠強。作者在寫作完之后若可以花費幾分鐘時間來回讀文章，并查字典或語法書，把自己不確定的都弄清楚，那么便會減少不必要的失分。不管什么問題，只有自己查了，才能更好地掌握，希望你在以后的寫作中能夠多注重基礎知識，比如句子的構成。然后可以積累一些好的詞句，并將其運用到自己的練習之中，為自己的文章增彩。
參考分數(滿分20分)：10
考研英語寫作水平的提升是需要不斷地練習，在改正錯誤中不斷取得進步，不怕犯錯誤，怕明知道犯錯誤卻不面對。希望廣大考生切記。2015年，加油吧，沖擊考研英語高分！
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