princeton

　　7th january1962，sunday

　　my dear：

　　i have been thinking about our conversation oflast night，and i hope you have too.

　　1962，in some ways，is wylie o'hara's year ofdecision.some of the decisions you make this yearwill have an important bearing on decisions youmay want to make several years hence.

　　for example：suppose that when you are 20 or21 you should discover that you want to participatein one of the many activities that will be open toyoung people in the federal or state government.the first thing they will want to know is whateducation and/or training you have had nowadaysthe minimum，absolute minimum requirement forhundreds of jobs is two years'college，either at afour-year-college or at a junior college.

　　for another example：you have said that youdon't expect to marry before you are 23.well，thatis something you can't be sure of，but suppose you do wait till you're 23.suppose your fiancé-husband is a young man who is taking graduatework at some university——law，medicine，the sciences，government work，etc.—and you and he are living in the vicinity of his graduate school.you may want to do work on the college or the graduate school level yourself，but i assure you youwill not be very enthusiastic about it if you have tostart as a freshman of 23.

　　now i could go on at some length，but the point i am aiming at it this：i want you to thinkvery，very seriously about what you are going to doafter st.tim's.you are not miss richbitch.youare not going to be miss churchmouse，either，butyou must think in terms of being able to earn atleast part of your own living.i don't think you aregoing to fall in love with a dumbhead.i think adumbhead，rich or not，would bore the hell out ofyou.therefore it is extremely likely that the kindof boy you will like and fall in love with is going tobe one who uses his brains to earn his living.thatalmost automatically means that he will be takingeither graduate work or special post-college training of some sort.and even if you have children right away，you will want to keep up with him intellectually.

　　i can tell you from my own experience how important it is to have a wife with whom to discuss one's work.my first wife was a wellesley b.a.and a columbia m.a.and a diplomat，i think they are called，at the sorbonne.your mother did not go to college，but she could have.sister and your mother both graduated from good schools and took courses at columbia and your mother even attended lectures at oxford without having toenroll there.both your mother and sister loved toread and read a great deal，and sister is multilingual.both your mother and sister dislikedwomen's colleges，but they did not dislike higherlearning.they formed their dislike of college-girltypes thirty years ago.the type has almostvanished，because the kind of girl your mother andsister were then would be applying for collegetoday.everybody goes to college.

　　now this is what's on my mind：the tentative program you have outlined for yourself does notseem to me very“realistic”in 1962 and 1963 and soon.i am hopeful that you will redirect yourselftoward a good college so that you will get thosetwo minimum-requirement years on your recordand then be able，three years from now，to qualifyfor jobs or continue working for a degree.you will not regret having those two years on your record，whereas you might easily regret not having them.as your father i have a duty to point these thingsout to you.but once i have done that i have toleave the real decision up to you.

　　love，

　　dad

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　　親愛的女兒：

　　我一直在思考我們昨晚的談話，我希望你也如此。

　　1962年，從某種程度上來說，是對威利·奧哈拉具有決定性的一年。你今年所做的決定將會對你幾年后所希望做出的決定起到至關重要的作用。

　　比如說：假設當你20歲或21歲時發現你想參加聯邦政府或州政府為年輕人組織的某項活動。他們需要了解的第一件事就是你受過何種教育和培訓。如今，對各行各業最低的要求是兩年的大學教育，要么在四年制大學里學習，要么在兩年制大學里學習。

　　再舉一個例子：你說過你不想在23歲以前結婚。也許，這是你無法肯定的，但我們就假設你的確等到23歲。假設你的未婚夫是個在某所大學里讀研究生的年輕人，他學的可能是法律、醫學、理科、行政管理等等。你和他住在他的研究生院附近。你也許會希望你自己也上大學或讀研究生，但我肯定，如果你在23歲時成為大學新生，你將沒有熱情去學習。

　　現在我得多說一些，但我的目的是：我希望你非常非常嚴肅地對待從圣·蒂姆斯中學畢業后你將做什么這一問題。你現在不是富家小姐。你將來也不會是一貧如洗的姑娘，但你必須考慮你怎樣才能掙到至少你自己的部分生活費。我想你不會愛上一個笨蛋。我認為，一個笨蛋，不管是窮是富，他都會使你極其厭煩。因此，你喜歡或愛上的那種男孩兒，極有可能是用智慧來謀生的人。那就理所當然地意味著，他會讀研究生或是接受大學畢業后的某種培訓。并且，即使你想立即生孩子，你也會希望能與他在才智方面保持一致。