An Experiment in Love
The dog discovered them――four newborn kittens abandoned in tall grass beside the road. When I returned from my walk carrying the tiny creatures in the palm of my hand， my partner， Mike， said firmly， " No more animals." Mike had already been saddled1 with my dog and three cats， and he wasn't used to a houseful of pets.
" I won't keep them，" I promised." Just till they're old enough to be on their own." Mike looked dubious. " Word of honor，" I assured him， never dreaming how much I'd come to regret the easily uttered words.
I made a warm nest for the babies by ripping up2 an old blue blanket and lining a wicker3 basket with it. Then I set out for the general store in the village to get advice about feeding them. " You can't raise kittens that young，" the storekeeper told me. But he sold me a set of toy nursing bottles and I went home to try. I warmed milk， and after we all got the hang of4 it， the infants drank avidly5.
Two hours later they woke and set up an insistent6 chorus of soft little screams to be fed again. And every two hours after that. Four times in the night， I crawled out of bed to warm their milk， and in the morning I congratulated myself that they were looking just a little bit stronger， a little bit bigger.
Mike， reporting on their progress to his co-workers， came home one evening with word that his secretary had offered to adopt Peaches， my favorite because of her lovely soft coloring. Now that she soon would be leaving， I found myself picking up Peaches less often. Idly I wondered if no longer being treated as special would affect her personality. Then the thought turned itself around. Suppose I were to give one of the other kittens extra amounts of mothering？ Suppose I held and cuddled and talked to him more？ Would he grow up to be any different than his siblings？ I thought it might be an interesting experiment.
I continued to love all the kittens， but I chose the most unpromising of the kittens as my subject. This was the little black one Mike had named Bat Cat because he was so homely， with his dull fur， squashed porcine7 face and little folded flaps of skin for ears. The runt8 of the litter， Bat Cat was always on the bottom of the kitten heap9， the last to be picked up， the last to be fed， and so the one who got the least attention. I gave the tiny creature a new name――Boston――and I repeated it over and over while I held him for his bottle. He would drink until， blissfully full， he fell asleep. Then I tucked him into my sweater so that he slept against my beating heart while I worked at my desk. When he woke， I snuffled10 his small body with my warm breath and talked to him before putting him back in the basket to play with his siblings.
The effect on the kitten was immediate11. His newly opened eyes， vague and unfocused like his siblings， became alert， and he studied my face with interest. Quickly he learned his name and， when I spoke it， he clambered over the folds of the blue blanket as fast as his unsteady little legs could carry him to come to me. Now when he was in the sleeping heap of kittens， he no longer passively accepted the bottom spot； sweetly but determinedly he wriggled12 out from under and nested himself on top. Was it that， sensing himself valued， Boston began to value himself？
He was the first of the kittens to discover he could purr， the first to make endearingly clumsy13 attempts to wash himself， the first to undertake the adventure of climbing out of the wicker basket. When the others， exhausted from their tumbling14 play， fell asleep， he would climb over the side of the basket and search for me.
It is said that when a child is born into this world， the first years of his life are taken up15 with finding an swers to the most basic of questions： Is it a good and benign16 world？ Can the people in it be trusted？ Am I loved？ If a little kitten can also be curious about such things， then the special love given Boston answered all those questions with a resounding " Yes！"
Even Boston's looks changed. His fur， once rusty and rough， grew sleek17 and shiny. At first， the luster18 was just on his head， but gradually the glossiness19 moved down his entire body until little Boston gleamed from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. Though never beautiful， he became so alert and merry， so trusting and affectionate， that the mere sight of him was a delight.
He was in his usual spot one evening when Mike walked in and heard us " talking" .
" You're going to miss him when he goes，" Mike said.
I wheeled from the sink." Oh， Mike……"
Mike looked steadily back. I saw from his expression that this was a test between us. Would I keep my word to him or did I value a little black kitten more than his wishes？ During our relationship， Mike and I had had our troubles learning to trust. I couldn't jeopardize20 the confidence I had struggled to gain.
" Yes，" I said as evenly as I could. " Yes， I'm going to miss him."
Soon all but Boston went to new homes. When Mike came home with word of a church fair that was requesting kittens be donated for sale at a pet table， it was obvious that these were to be my last days with Boston. Now when I cradled him in my arms， it was often tears on my cheeks that he patted." Oh， little Boss， it's going to be so empty without you，" I would tell him and his eyes would narrow with the effort to understand my distress.
I was in the kitchen getting dinner that night when Mike came home. Boston went to the door to greet him but I couldn't； I was fighting too hard not to cry. It was a long time before Mike joined me. When he did， he was carrying Boston， who had a big red ribbon tied around his neck. Silently Mike held out an envelope. Inside was a Christmas card and written on it was： " It's only November， but let's give ourselves a Christmas present."
I reached out to hug Mike through my tears.
" If you can be big21 enough to let him go，" he said， " I can be big enough to let him stay."
我的狗發(fā)現(xiàn)了它們――4只被遺棄在路邊茂密草叢中的新生小貓。我捧著這幾個小生靈散步回來時，我的丈夫邁克堅決地說："不能再養(yǎng)動物了。"邁克已經(jīng)容忍了我的狗和3只貓，而他是不習慣滿屋子寵物的。
"我不會久留它們的，"我發(fā)誓說。"就留它們到能自己生存為止。"邁克半信半疑。"我用名譽擔保，"我向他保證，想也沒想我將怎樣后悔這輕易說出的話。
我把一條舊的藍色毯子撕碎襯在一個柳條筐里，給這些小貓崽做了一個溫暖的窩。然后我起身到村里的商店詢問怎樣喂養(yǎng)它們。"你養(yǎng)不了這么小的貓崽兒，" 店主對我說。但他還是賣了我一套玩具奶瓶，然后我回家去試著喂。我熱了牛奶，等我們都掌握了使用奶瓶的竅門后，貓崽們就貪婪地喝了起來。
兩個小時以后它們醒了，開始不斷地你一聲我一聲地輕輕叫著要吃奶。就這樣每兩個小時喂一次。那天夜里，我四次從床上爬起來給它們熱奶。早晨起來我恭喜自己，因為它們看上去強壯了一點，長大了一點。
邁克也把它們的成長情況告訴了他的同事。一天傍晚，他回到家告訴我說，他的秘書提出要領(lǐng)養(yǎng)"桃桃".桃桃的毛色柔和可愛，我最喜歡它?，F(xiàn)在桃桃就要走了，我發(fā)覺我不像以往那樣經(jīng)常抱它了。我無端地空想，如果它不再受到特別的寵愛，它的個性會不會受到影響呢？接著我又反過來想：假設(shè)我給其余幾只小貓中的一只更多的母愛，假設(shè)我更多地撫愛它，和它說話，它長大了會不會與它的兄弟姐妹有什么不同呢？我想這或許是個有趣的試驗。
我繼續(xù)愛著所有的小貓，但是我選擇了其中一只最不起眼的做我的試驗對象。它是一只小黑貓，邁克叫它蝙蝠貓，因為它是那么其貌不揚，毛色暗淡，長著一張扁扁的小豬臉，耳朵皺皺巴巴地耷拉著。黑蝙蝠是這窩小貓中最瘦小的一個，老是被別的小貓擠在最下邊，最后一個被抱起來，最后一個吃奶，因此也是最不起眼的一個。我給這個小家伙起了個新名：波士頓。給它喂奶的時候我一遍又一遍地喊它的名字。它會喝啊喝直到心滿意足地吃飽了美美地睡去。然后我就把它塞進我的毛衣，這樣我在桌前工作時它就能聽見我的心跳。它醒來的時侯，我先用溫暖的鼻息嗅嗅它那小小的身體，跟它說幾句話，然后再把它放回到籃子里與它的兄弟姐妹們一起玩。
試驗很快產(chǎn)生了效果。它那剛剛睜開的眼睛，曾經(jīng)和它兄弟姐妹們的一樣混沌、茫然，現(xiàn)在變得機敏了，它還饒有興趣地觀察我的臉。很快它就學會了聽自己的名字。我一叫它，它就以最快的速度搖搖晃晃地從毯子的褶皺里朝我爬過來。現(xiàn)在，當它和別的小貓一起睡覺的時候，它再也不消極接受最底下的鋪位了。它會輕快地卻又堅定地從底下扭動著爬到上邊，給自己找個好窩。這說明了什么？是不是波士頓覺得它受到了重視，也開始認識到自己的價值？
在這群小貓崽中，波士頓第一個學會呼嚕呼嚕地叫；第一個又笨又可愛地試圖梳洗自己；第一個冒著危險從柳條筐里爬出來。當別的小貓一起打滾玩鬧后筋疲力盡地睡著了，它卻會沿著籃子邊爬出來找我。
據(jù)說小孩出生以后，在他生命最初的幾年里他會探知一些最基本的問題：這是不是一個親善的世界？這世界里的人能不能信任？人們愛不愛我？如果連一只小貓也會有同樣疑問的話，那么波士頓所受到的寵愛足以給這些問題以肯定的回答。
就連波士頓的外貌也出現(xiàn)了變化。它原來粗糙發(fā)銹的毛發(fā)變得滑順而有光澤。起先，只有頭頂上有光澤，逐漸地，光滑的毛遍布全身，直到小波士頓從鼻尖到尾巴尖都光彩照人。盡管它說不上漂亮，但它變得那么機靈、歡快，那么忠實、熱情，只要你看它一眼，就能給你帶來喜悅。
一天晚上，波士頓正呆在它的"老地方"和我"談話"，邁克走了進來。
"它走了你會想它的，"邁克說。
我從水池邊轉(zhuǎn)過身，說："噢，邁克……"
邁克直視著我。我從他的表情上看得出這是我們之間的考驗。我是對他守信用呢，還是把一只小黑貓看得比他的意愿還重？自從我們相識以來，邁克和我經(jīng)歷了一番挫折才學會互相信任。我不能再毀掉我已爭取到的信任。
"是的，"我盡量保持平靜地說。"我會想念它的。"
很快，除了波士頓，其他的小貓都被送到新家去了。一天，邁克回家來說教會組織的義賣要在寵物柜臺開展一個小貓義賣活動，顯然波士頓和我在一起的日子不多了?，F(xiàn)在，當我把它抱在懷里，被它輕輕拍打的往往是我滿是淚水的雙頰。我會對它說："噢，親愛的波士，沒有你會是多么寂寞。"它則會瞇起眼睛努力讀懂我的傷感。
那天晚上邁克回家時，我正在廚房準備晚飯。波士頓到門口迎接他，但我做不到。我正強忍著不要哭出來。過了很長時間邁克才走進廚房。他過來時，抱著波士頓，波士頓脖子上系著條紅色的絲帶。邁克什么也沒說，掏出一個信封。信封里是一張圣誕卡，上面寫著："盡管現(xiàn)在才11月，但讓咱們給自己一份圣誕禮物吧。 "
我淚眼朦朧地伸出雙臂擁抱了邁克。
他說："既然你有讓它走的寬大胸懷，我也可以寬容地讓它留下來。"
注釋：
1.saddle vt.使承擔任務（或責任）
2.rip up把…撕成碎片
3.wicker adj.柳條編的
4.get the hang of掌握…的竅門
5.avidly adv.渴望地，急切地
6.insistent adj.急切的，緊急的
7.porcine adj.像豬的，肥豬似的
8.runt n.（比一般）矮小的動物，（一胎中）最小的仔畜
9.heap n.（一）堆
10.snuffle vt.出聲地呼吸，嗅
11.immediate adj.直接的
12.wriggle vi.扭動，蠕動
13.clumsy adj.笨拙的，手腳不靈活的
14.tumbling n.翻跟頭，翻滾
15.takeup占去（注意力等）
16.benign adj.善良的，寬厚的
17.sleek adj.油光的，油亮的
18.luster n.光澤
19.glossiness n.光澤
20.jeopardize vt.危及，損害
21.big adj.寬宏的，大度的
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