Where I Lived, and What I Lived For5
We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour. If we refused, or rather used up, such paltry information as we get, the oracles would distinctly inform us how this might be done.
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion. For most men, it appears to me, are in a strange uncertainty about it, whether it is of the devil or of God, and have somewhat hastily concluded that it is the chief end of man here to "glorify God and enjoy him forever."
Still we live meanly, like ants; though the fable tells us that we were long ago changed into men; like pygmies we fight with cranes; it is error upon error, and clout upon clout, and our best virtue has for its occasion a superfluous and evitable wretchedness. Our life is frittered away by detail. An honest man has hardly need to count more than his ten fingers, or in extreme cases he may add his ten toes, and lump the rest. Simplicity, simplicity,simplicity! I say, let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumb-nail. In the midst of this chopping sea of civilized life, such are the clouds and storms and quicksands and thousand-and-one items to be allowed for, that a man has to live, if he would not founder and go to the bottom and not make his port at all, by dead reckoning, and he must be a great calculator indeed who succeeds. Simplify, simplify. Instead of three meals a day, if it be necessary eat but one; instead of a hundred dishes, five; and reduce other things in proportion. Our life is like a German Confederacy, made up of petty states, with its boundary forever fluctuating, so that even a German cannot tell you how it is bounded at any moment. The nation itself, with all its so-called internal improvements, which, by the way are all external and superficial, is just such an unwieldy and overgrown establishment, cluttered with furniture and tripped up by its own traps, ruined by luxury and heedless expense, by want of calculation and a worthy aim, as the million households in the land; and the only cure for it, as for them, is in a rigid economy, a stern and more than Spartan simplicity of life and elevation of purpose. It lives too fast. Men think that it is essential that the Nation have commerce, and export ice, and talk through a telegraph, and ride thirty miles an hour, without a doubt, whether they do or not; but whether we should live like baboons or like men, is a little uncertain. If we do not get out sleepers, and forge rails, and devote days and nights to the work, but go to tinkering upon our lives to improve them, who will build railroads? And if railroads are not built, how shall we get to heaven in season? But if we stay at home and mind our business, who will want railroads? We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us. Did you ever think what those sleepers are that underlie the railroad? Each one is a man,an Irishman, or a Yankee man. The rails are laid on them, and they are covered with sand, and the cars run smoothly over them. They are sound sleepers, I assure you. And every few years a new lot is laid down and run over; so that, if some have the pleasure of riding on a rail, others have the misfortune to be ridden upon. And when they run over a man that is walking in his sleep, a supernumerary sleeper in the wrong position, and wake him up, they suddenly stop the cars, and make a hue and cry about it, as if this were an exception. I am glad to know that it takes a gang of men for every five miles to keep the sleepers down and level in their beds as it is, for this is a sign that they may sometime get up again.
我們必須學會再蘇醒,更須學會保持清醒而不再昏睡,但不能用機械的方法,而應寄托無窮的期望于黎明,就在最沉的沉睡中,黎明也不會拋棄我們的。我沒有看到過更使人振奮的事實了,人類無疑是有能力來有意識地提高他自己的生命的。能畫出某一張畫,雕塑出某一個肖像,美化某幾個對象,是很了不起的;但更加榮耀的事是能夠塑造或畫出那種氛圍與媒介來,從中能使我們發現,而且能使我們正當地有所為。能影響當代的本質的,是最高的藝術。每人都應該把最崇高的和緊急時刻內他所考慮到的做到,使他的生命配得上他所想的,甚至小節上也配得上。如果我們拒絕了,或者說虛耗了我們得到的這一點微不足道的思想,神示自會清清楚楚地把如何做到這一點告訴我們的。
我到林中去,因為我希望謹慎地生活,只面對生活的基本事實,看看我是否學得到生活要教育我的東西,免得到了臨死的時候,才發現我根本就沒有生活過。我不希望度過非生活的生活,生活是這樣的可愛;我卻也不愿意去修行過隱逸的生活,除非是萬不得已。我要生活得深深地把生命的精髓都吸到,要生活得穩穩當當,生活得斯巴達式的,以便根除一切非生活的東西,劃出一塊刈割的面積來,細細地刈割或修剪,把生活壓縮到一個角隅里去,把它縮小到最低的條件中,如果它被證明是卑微的,那末就把那真正的卑微全部認識到,并把它的卑微之處公布于世界;或者,如果它是崇高的,就用切身的經歷來體會它,在我下一次遠游時,也可以作出一個真實的報道。因為,我看,大多數人還確定不了他們的生活是屬于魔鬼的,還是屬于上帝的呢,然而又多少有點輕率地下了判斷,認為人生的主要目標是“歸榮耀于神,并永遠從神那里得到喜悅”。
然而我們依然生活得卑微,像螞蟻;雖然神話告訴我們說,我們早已經變成人了;像小人國里的人,我們和長脖子仙鶴作戰;這真是錯誤之上加錯誤,臟抹布之上更抹臟:我們最優美的德性在這里成了多余的本可避免的劫數。我們的生活在瑣碎之中消耗掉了。
一個老實的人除十指之外,便用不著更大的數字了,在特殊情況下也頂多加上十個足趾,其余不妨籠而統之。簡單,簡單,簡單啊!我說,最好你的事只兩件或三件,不要一百件或一千件;不必計算一百萬,半打不是夠計算了嗎,總之,賬目可以記在大拇指甲上就好了。在這浪濤滔天的文明生活的海洋中,一個人要生活,得經歷這樣的風暴和流沙和一千零一種事變,除非他縱身一躍,直下海底,不要作船位推算去安抵目的港了,那些事業成功的人,真是偉大的計算家啊。簡單化,簡單化!不必一天三餐,如果必要,一頓也夠了;不要百道菜,五道夠多了;至于別的,就在同樣的比例下來減少好了。我們的生活像德意志聯邦,全是小邦組成的。聯邦的邊界永在變動,甚至一個德國人也不能在任何時候把邊界告訴你。國家是有所謂內政的改進的,實際上它全是些外表的,甚至膚淺的事務,它是這樣一種不易運用的生長得臃腫龐大的機構,壅塞著家具,掉進自己設置的陷阱,給奢侈和揮霍毀壞完了,因為它沒有計算,也沒有崇高的目標,好比地面上的一百萬戶人家一樣;對于這種情況,和對于他們一樣,惟一的醫療辦法是一種嚴峻的經濟學,一種嚴峻得更甚于斯巴達人的簡單的生活,并提高生活的目標。生活現在是太放蕩了。人們以為國家必須有商業,必須把冰塊出口,還要用電報來說話,還要一小時馳奔三十英里,毫不懷疑它們有沒有用處;但是我們應該生活得像狒狒呢,還是像人,這一點倒又確定不了。如果我們不做出枕木來,不軋制鋼軌,不日夜工作,而只是笨手笨腳地對付我們的生活,來改善它們,那末誰還想修筑鐵路呢?如果不造鐵路,我們如何能準時趕到天堂去哪?可是,我們只要住在家里,管我們的私事,誰還需要鐵路呢?我們沒有來坐鐵路,鐵路倒乘坐了我們。你難道沒有想過,鐵路底下躺著的枕木是什么?每一根都是一個人,愛爾蘭人,或北方佬。鐵軌就鋪在他們身上,他們身上又鋪起了黃沙,而列車平滑地馳過他們。我告訴你,他們真是睡得熟呵。每隔幾年,就換上了一批新的枕木,車輛還在上面奔馳著;如果一批人能在鐵軌之上愉快地乘車經過,必然有另一批不幸的人是在下面被乘坐被壓過去的。當我們奔馳過了一個夢中行路的人,一根出軌的多余的枕木,他們只得喚醒他,突然停下車子,吼叫不已,好像這是一個例外。我聽到了真覺得有趣,他們每五英里路派定了一隊人,要那些枕木長眠不起,并保持應有的高低,由此可見,他們有時候還是要站起來的。
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