英漢雙語笑話72

閱讀 : 次

1.

A Mistake

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞錯了

一位美國人，一位英格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達(dá)天堂的門口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解釋說是搞錯了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就象什么都沒有發(fā)生過一樣。”

“成交!”美國人說。立刻，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己毫不損傷地站在現(xiàn)場附近。

“其他人在哪兒？”一名醫(yī)生問道。

“我離開之前，”那名美國人說，“我看見英格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應(yīng)該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”

2.

Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

偉大的獵手Jonesie

有個小村莊正為一只吃人的獅子而煩惱。于是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。

獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子一直沒有出現(xiàn)。最后，他要求村長殺只羊然后把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上后，獵人到草原上去等獅子。

半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近后，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。

“Jonesie，怎么了？獅子在哪？”村長問。

“哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？”

3.

Asking for a Raise

At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.

After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal screams, hysterical laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, "Asking for a raise again?"

要求加薪

我在一家電臺工作。經(jīng)理把我叫進(jìn)他的辦公室，讓我預(yù)試一下我們準(zhǔn)備購買的一套新的音響效果設(shè)備。他關(guān)上門，以免打擾外面辦公室的人。

聽了幾個常規(guī)的音響效果后，我們開始試聽低聲的呻吟，狂亂的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀求逺和槍聲。最后我開門出去，從經(jīng)理秘書旁邊經(jīng)過時，她抬起頭問道：“又要求加薪了？”

更多英語笑話、英語小笑話、英文笑話、英語幽默小故事，請繼續(xù)關(guān)注英語作文大全