英漢雙語笑話73
Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."
天氣預報
一個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.一天,一個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣.
幾次預報都很成功.然后,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.
最后,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍一個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠你了.明天天氣如何啊?"
印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."
2.
Clarinet
When I played with a symphony orchestra, our union reached an agreement with a major airline about which instruments we could carry on board, and which had to be shipped as luggage. A cellist was dismayed to find that his delicate, expensive wood instrument was consigned to the rougher handling and cold temperatures of the baggage hold.
He neatly solved the problem. Cello in hand, he approached the flight attendant at the gate and asked, "May I bring my clarinet on board?" Scanning her list, she replied, "Clarinets are okay. Have a good trip," and, smiling, waved him on.
單簧管
我在一個交響樂團演奏時，我們樂團與一家大航空公司達成協議，哪些樂器可以帶上飛機，哪些樂器要作為行李托運。一個大提琴手驚愕地發現他那精致、昂貴的木質樂器竟要托運，經受行李艙內的低溫以及野蠻的裝缷。
他干凈利落地解決了這個問題。他手里拿著大提琴，走到門口的空中小姐跟前，問道：“我可以將我單簧管帶上飛機嗎？”她檢視了一下單子，答道，“單簧管可以。祝你旅途愉快。”然后微笑著揮手讓他進去了。
3.
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎樣來的？
一個冬天的早晨，一名雇員解釋他為什么遲到了四十五分鐘才起來上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前邁一步，就要向后退兩步。”
老板狐疑地看著他。“噢，是嗎？那你是怎樣到這里來的？”
“后來我決定放棄，”他說，“然后我就往家里走。”
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