外國(guó)最新英語(yǔ)幽默笑話精粹57：春季種植 (中英)

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The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients，demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediate1y. He was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities interfered with his rest… and on，and on.

一位將軍因?yàn)橐稽c(diǎn)小病在一所軍隊(duì)醫(yī)院里接受治療。整整一周他都在挑刺找麻煩，這使醫(yī)院的工作人員和病友們對(duì)他很反感。他苛刻的要求他的每個(gè)命令都要得到執(zhí)行。他住在一個(gè)六人病房里，他的飯不能是涼的，也不能不合他的口味，就連燈光也要調(diào)到他需要的亮度，夜里有什么動(dòng)靜也不能影響他的休息，等等。

One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your temperature, General.”

一天下午一個(gè)勤務(wù)兵走進(jìn)病房。“該測(cè)體溫了，將軍。”

After growling at the orderly，the general opened his mouth to accept the thermometer.

在和這個(gè)勤務(wù)兵咆哮了一通之后，將軍張開(kāi)了他的嘴同意測(cè)量體溫。

"Sorry, General，but for this test we need your temperature from the other end.”

“對(duì)不起，將軍，但是這回要測(cè)的是您直腸溫度。”

A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for. The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay exactly like that and don' t move. I’11 be back in five minutes to check up on you and withdraw.”

又一陣瘋狂的言語(yǔ)辱罵之后，那個(gè)勤務(wù)兵執(zhí)意堅(jiān)持要測(cè)的是直腸體溫。最后，將軍翻了過(guò)去，脫下了褲子，接著衛(wèi)兵開(kāi)始了測(cè)量。那個(gè)勤務(wù)兵對(duì)將軍說(shuō):“就這樣不要?jiǎng)?，我五分鐘后回?lái)檢查后再拿出來(lái)。”

An hour later, the head nurse entered the room. saw the general with his bare rear in the air and gasped，" W hat’s going on here?”

一個(gè)小時(shí)之后，護(hù)十長(zhǎng)走進(jìn)病房，看見(jiàn)將軍露著他的屁股就問(wèn):“這是怎么回事？”

"Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" the general barked.

“你沒(méi)看見(jiàn)有人正在接受體溫測(cè)量嗎?”那個(gè)將軍大聲嚷道。

"Yes I have，General，but with a daffodil?"

“是的，我看見(jiàn)了。將軍，但是那不是溫度計(jì)而是一棵水仙呀。”

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