雅思寫作高分范文逐句精講--孩子的品德教育該由誰負責
在雅思寫作考試中,教育類話題出現的頻率極高,所以大家一定要多加練習此類題目。今天我們來詳細分析一篇教育類的寫作范文,大家一定要注意到高分作文的一些寫作構思、用詞技巧和講話邏輯,最后都能寫出高分作文。范例題目如下:
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
寫作構思
題目問孩子的品德教育應該由家長還是由學校負責,典型的both sides討論,兩方面觀點都要說,按照邏輯順序先說家里父母的職責,再擴展到校園對孩子的影響,最后得出我們的觀點是:教育孩子人人有責!
第一段:Introduction
A child’s education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. (首句用不完全否定引出話題,更耐人尋味,注意never和完成時的使用)It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society(可數名詞不裸奔;include用詞準確). Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents alone.(再次用部分否定提出觀點,準確而又簡潔,過渡到家長的話題)
第二段:家長的職責所在
In order to be a good member of any society, the individual (前后冠詞運用準確)must respect and obey the rules (動詞搭配準確)of their community andshare their values (“三觀要正”,高分搭配). Educating (teaching同義詞替換)children to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to the responsibility of parents(“廣泛認為”,線性推理最后才出現家長這個詞,吊足考官胃口,論證充分). They will certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world (三個并列的賓語從句,語意完整語序準確).
第三段:學校的作用
However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society(同義改寫,society替換community, value system替換values)cannot be achieved just in the home(轉折過渡句,動名詞作主語,learn in the home替換taught by parents). Once (“一旦”,替換if和when,強調立刻)a child goes to school, they are entering a wilder community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home(where從句里as…as無痕跡表達對比). At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of(搭配生動) backgrounds from the wider society. This experience should teach them how to cooperate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community (動詞詞匯多樣).
第四段:總結個人觀點
But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple skill(動詞形態準確). It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and it is the responsibility of every member of a society to take responsibility for helping the younger generation(替換children) to becomeactive and able members(多樣詞匯替換good member)of that society (在線性推理中用強調句結尾,觀點明確,動詞搭配準確).
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