雙語散文:今年我已經十一歲了
What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and fours, and threee, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your leeventh birthdays yu expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are --- underneath the year that makes you eleven.
人們不明白也不會告訴你，你的十一歲，同你的十歲、九歲、八歲、七歲、六歲、五歲、四歲、三歲、兩歲、一歲一樣沒有差別。而當你在十一歲生日當天醒來并期望能感受十一歲的自己的時候，卻發現根本不行。你睜開眼睛，而所有的一切都跟昨天差不多，只是日子走到了今天而已。你根本不知道十一歲是什么感覺。你覺得自己還是十歲。你——藏在了第十一個年頭的后面。
Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay. That’s what I tell Mama when she’s say and needs to cry. Maybe she’s feeling three.
你也許還會說一些傻話，那是還停留在十歲的你干的。或者你也許還會因為害怕而要坐在媽媽的腿上，那是五歲的你干的。也許當你有一天長大了，還可能會像你三歲時那樣哭鼻子，那也沒關系。媽媽需要大哭一場的時候我就這樣告訴她。也許她感覺自己只有三歲。
Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings insides a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That's how being eeven years old is.
成長就如同一層一層的洋蔥，樹干里一圈一圈的年輪，或是像一個套一個的木頭套娃一樣。正因為這樣，你也是一歲裹著一歲長大的。那就是十一歲的樣子。
You don’t feel eleven. Not right away. It takes a few days, weeks even, sometimes months before you say Eleven when they ask you. And you don‘t feel smart eleven, not until you’re almost twelve. That’s the way it is.
你不覺得自己十一歲了。不會立馬覺得。也許要花幾天、幾個星期，有時甚至十幾個月的時間，當別人問起你歲數的時候，你才會說十一歲。而直到你快到十二歲了，才發覺自己已經十一歲很久了。就是這樣。
Only today I wish I didn’t have only eleven years rattling inside me like pennies in a tin Band-Aid box. Today I wish I was one hndred and two instead of eleven because if I was one hundred and two I’d have known what to say when Mrs. Price put the red sweater on my desk. I would’ve known how to tell her it wasn’t mine instead of just sitting three with that look on my face and nothing coming out of my mouth.
只有今天，我希望自己不要像我創可貼盒子里叮當作響的可憐的幾便士一樣只有區區十一歲。今天我希望自己有102歲而不是11歲。要是我有102歲，當普萊斯太太把那件紅毛衣放在我課桌上的時候，我就知道該怎么說了。我就知道該怎么告訴她那件衣服不是我的，而不是干坐在那兒一句話也說不出來。
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