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遲到的情書(五)

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   "That was the happiest birthday of my life, for while we were resting between dances Richard took me outside into the cool, moonlit night, and there, under the stars ,he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. Of course I promised I would, for I was too happy to think of what my parents would say, or indeed of anything except Richard was not at our meeting place as he had arranged. I was disappointed but not alarmed, for so many things could happen to either of us to prevent out keeping our tryst. I thought that next time we visited the Van Ransburgs, I should hear what had kept him and we could plan further meetings…

  "從那以后,我們就盡可能多地見面,但往往是秘密進行。我們就這樣度過了將近1年時間。后來有一天,在他安排的約會處,理查德爽約沒有來。失望之際,我沒有大驚小怪,因為我們倆誰碰到形形色色的事都可能使我們無法幽會。我想我們以后去范?倫斯堡家看望之時,我就會明白理查德未能赴約的原因,再安排以后的約會……

  "So when my father asked if I would drive with him to Driefontein I was delighted. But when we reached the homestead and were sitting on the stoep drinking our coffee, we heard that Richard had left quite suddenly and had gone back to England. His father had died, and now he was the heir and must go back to look after his estates.

  "所以,當父親問我是否愿意和他一塊開車去德里方丹時,我就高興地答應了。但待我們趕到范?倫斯堡家,坐在他們家屋前的門廊上喝咖啡時,卻聽說理查德已經不辭而別回英國去了。他的父親死了,他是繼承人,不得不回去料理遺產。

  "I do not remember very much more about that day, except that the sun seemed to have stopped shining and the country no longer looked beautiful and full of promise, but bleak and desolate as it sometimes does in winter or in times of drought. Late that afternoon, Jantje, the little Hottentot herd boy, came up to me and handed me a letter , which he said the English baas had left for me. It was the only love letter I ever received, but it turned all my bitterness and grief into a peacefulness which was the nearest I could get, then, to happiness. I knew Richard still loved me, and somehow, as long as I had his letter, I felt that we could never be really parted, even if he were in England and I had to remain on the farm. I have it yet, and though I am an old, tired woman, it still gives me hope and courage."

  "那天的事我記不大清楚了,只記得當時陽光慘淡,田野也失去了美麗的豐采和欣欣向榮的景象,蕭瑟凄涼得跟冬天或大旱時一樣。那天傍晚,在我和父親動身回家之前,霍但托特族的小牧童詹杰交給我一封信,他說是那位英國老爺留給我的。這可是我有生以來收到的唯一的情書!它將我的憂傷一掃而光,使我的心情變得平靜――當時對我來說幾乎類似幸福的平靜。我知道理查德仍在愛著我。不知怎么回事,有了這封信,我便覺得我們不可能真正分開,哪怕他到了英國、我還留在南非的農場。這封信我至今仍保留著,盡管我已經年邁體衰,但它仍能帶給我希望和勇氣。"

  "I must have been a wonderful letter, Aunt Stephia,"I said. "斯蒂菲娜老姑,那封信一定美極了吧,"我說。

  The old lady came back from her dreams of that far-off romance."Perhaps," she said, hesitating a little, "perhaps, my dear, you would care to read it ?"老太太從她那久遠的愛之夢中醒過神來。"也許,"她帶著猶豫的神情說,"也許,親愛的,你想看看那封信吧?"

  "I should love to , Aunt Stephia,"I said gently. "我很想看,斯蒂菲娜老姑,"我輕聲說。

  She rose at once and tripped into the house as eagerly as a young girl. When she came back she handed me a letter, faded and yellow with age, the edges of the envelope worn and frayed as though it had been much handled. But when I came to open it I found that the seal was unbroken.她猛地站起身,奔進屋里,急切得像個小姑娘。她從屋里出來后,遞給我一封信。由于天長日久,那信已經褪色發黃,信封邊已經磨損,好像曾被摩挲過好多次。但在取信時,我發現封口還沒有拆開。

  "Open it ,open it,"said Great-aunt Stephia, and her voice was shaking. "拆開,拆開吧!"斯蒂菲娜老姑聲音顫抖地說。

  I broke the seal and read.我撕開封口,開始念信。

  It was not a love letter in the true sense of the word, but pages of the minutest directions of how"my sweetest Phina"was to elude her father's vigilance, creep down to the drift at night and there meet Jantje with a horse which would take her to Smitsdorp. There she was to go to "my true friend, Henry Wilson",who would give her money and make arrangements for her to follow her lover to Cape Town and from there to England ," where, my love, we can he be married at once. But if, my dearest, you are not sure that you can face lift with me in a land strange to you, then do not take this important step, for I love you too much to wish you the smallest unhappiness. If you do not come, and if I do not hear from you, then I shall know that you could never be happy so far from the people and the country which you love. If, however, you feel you can keep your promise to me, but are of too timid and modest a journey to England unaccompanied, then write to me, and I will, by some means, return to fetch my bride."

  嚴格說來,它算不上是一封情書,實際是只是幾頁內容詳盡的行動指南。信里稱"我最親愛的菲娜"該怎么擺脫她父親的監視,夜里逃出家門,詹杰會在淺灘上牽馬等著她,然后將她馱到史密斯多普,到了那里再去找理查德的"知心朋友亨利?威爾遜",他會給她錢為她作好安排,使她能跟隨她的情人到開普敦,隨后轉道英國。"親愛的,這樣我們就可以在英國結婚了。但是我的至愛,如果你不能保證你能在一個陌生的地方和我一塊生活,你就不必采取這個重大行動,因為我太愛你了,不能讓你感到絲毫不快。如果你不來,如果我聽不到你的回信,我就會知道,如果你離開你摯愛的親人和鄉土,你是不會幸福的。但如果你能實踐你對我的許諾而由于你生性持重膽怯不愿單身前往英國,就來信告訴我,那我就會設法回南非來迎接我的新娘。"

  I read no further.我沒有再念下去。

  "But Aunt Phina!"I gasped. "Why…why…?" "可是,菲娜老姑,"我氣喘吁吁地說,"為什么……?為什么……"

  The old lady was watching me with trembling eagerness, her face flushed and her eyes bright with expectation."Read it aloud, my dear,"she said."I want to hear every word of it. There was never anyone I could trust…Uitlanders were hated in my young days…I could not ask anyone."

  老太太的身子由于渴望知道信的內容而顫抖,她的眼睛炯炯有神地凝視著我,臉龐因急切的期待一片緋紅。"親愛的,大聲念吧!"她說,"信里的一字一句,我都要聽!當時我找不到可靠的人給我念……我年輕時,'洋人'是被人深惡痛絕的……我找不到人給我念啊!"

  "But, Auntie, don't you even know what he wrote?" "可是老姑,難道你一直不知道信里的事嗎?"

  The old lady looked down, troubled and shy like a child who has unwittingly done wrong.老太太低頭俯視著,像一個無心做錯事的孩子一樣怯生生的,不知說什么才好。

  "No, dear," she said, speaking very low."You see, I never learned to read. "不知道,親愛的,"她用低沉的聲調說,“你知道,我從來沒有念過書啊!”

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