經典英文幽默集錦
Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa.
鈔票不是萬能的，有時還需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty.每個人都應該熱愛動物，因為它們很好吃。
Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.要用心去愛你的鄰居，不過不要讓她的老公知道。
Behind every successful man， there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man， there are two.每個成功男人的背后都有一個女人，每個不成功男人的背后都有兩個女人。
Every man should marry. After all， happiness is not the only thing in life.再快樂的單身漢遲早也會結婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry， And when they marry they become otherwise.聰明人都是未婚的，結婚的人很難再聰明起來。
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.成功是一個相關名詞，他會給你帶來很多不相關的親戚（聯系）。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好。
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.愛情就象照片，需要大量的暗房時間來培養。
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.后排座位上的小孩會生出意外， 后排座位上的意外會生出小孩。
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "現在的夢想決定著你的將來"，所以還是再睡一會吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.應該有更好的方式開始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每個上午都醒來。
"Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk？ "努力工作不會導致死亡！"不過我不會用自己去證明。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ "工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看著別人工作。
God made relatives； Thank God we can choose our friends.神決定了誰是你的親戚，幸運的是在選擇朋友方面他給了你留了余地。
When two‘s company， three’s the result！
兩個人的狀態是不穩定的，三個人才是！
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.服飾就象鐵絲網，它阻止你冒然行動，但并不妨礙你盡情地觀看。
The more you learn， the more you know， The more you know， the more you forget. The more you forget， the less you know. So why bother to learn.學的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多；忘記的越多， 忘記的越多；知道的越少， 為什么學來著？！
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