那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事20：女人，不能說的秘密
那些妙趣橫生的英語幽默故事
Women's secrets
女人，不能說的秘密
Women especially love a bargain．
女人特別喜歡便宜貨。 Women love to shop.It is the only area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control．
女人喜歡購物。她們覺得那是她們在這個世界上唯一能控制的領域。
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to圳it，even if they have nothing to say．
女人喜歡交談。沉默使她們不安，她們需要用交談打破沉默，即使她們沒什么可說的。
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are．
女人需要感覺到別人不如她們.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp in tolved．
女人討厭蟲子。當看到一只蜘蛛或黃蜂時，即使意志力很強的女人也需要一個男人在身旁.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip．
女人經常結伴去公共衛生間. 這是她們八卦的好機會。
Women think all beer is the same．
女人覺得所有品牌的啤酒都是一個味兒。
Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape realitY. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be．
女人不能領略體育節目的魅力。男人從那些能讓他們逃離現實的東西中尋找娛樂，女人則從那些能提醒她們現實有多糟糕 的東西中尋找娛樂。
Women are paid less than men’except for one field Modeling．
女人的薪水比男人低，只有一個行業例外——模特。
Women do not know anything about cars’eVen if theY drivea car themselves．
女人對汽軍一無所知，即使她們自己開車。
Women love to talk on the phone.A woman can visit her girl friend for two weeks,and upon returning home,sheWill call the same friend and they will talk for three hours．
女人喜歡煲電話粥.一個女人去看她的女朋友，她們一起生活了兩個 星期，她剛剛回家便會給這個女朋友打電話，然后會聊上3個小時。
Women do not want an honest answer to the question, "How do I look ?"
在¨我看上去怎么樣？n這個問題上，女人不想得到誠實的答案。
“Oh, nothing，has an entirely different meaning in woman—language than it does in man-language．
"哦，沒什么。 “這句話在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。
All women will say that they are overweight,but don't agree with them about it．
所有女人都會說自己超重，但千萬別對此表示贊同。
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
面對超速行駛的罰單，噘嘴可以使女人免于處罰，卻會使男人被拘留。 Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary.
女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感，盡管她們聲稱幽默感很重要。
Women will spend hours dressing up to go out,and then they'II go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other
men: women will always catch men checking out other women。
女人在出門前花費數小時化妝，然后她們出門，花更 多時間注視其他女人。男人永遠不會察覺女人注視著其他男 人，而女人總能抓住男人注視著其他女人。
The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party．
最讓女人尷尬的就是在一個正式的聚會上，發現另一個女人穿著和自己同樣的衣服.
單詞＆詞組
bargain 協定：便宜的東西
intimidate 脅迫；威迫
strong-willed 意志堅強的，固執已見的
gossip 閑話，閑談
pout 撅嘴，繃臉
humor 幽默，心情，詼諧
contrary （性質、方向或意義上）相反的
check out 付賬后離開（旅館）；查實；了解
embarrassed 尷尬的，窘迫的
知道不知道
如何用英語罵女人
She is so neurotic and you can't imagine what she did to my cat.
她太神經質了，你想不到她對我的貓咪都干了些什么。
You are absolutely a disgrace of a human being．你真是人類的恥辱。（其實這句話的聽眾不只女性，男人同樣也沒問題）The bitch is back! 該死，又來了！（這句話也是Elton John與Bernie Taupin創作的一支非常著名的單曲。靈感來自Taupin的妻子，當時幾個人正討論Caribou專輯，但是突然間Elton John郡傳說中的爆脾氣又來了，他大發無名火，惹得Taupin的老婆直呼"the bitch is back”)
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