賴世雄讀英語笑話學英語之英語樂趣(1)：古老的中國智慧(雙語)
Unit 1 Ancient Chinese Wisdom 古老的中國智慧
Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemed physicians could find a cure, until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foo bird could restore the imperial health.
很久很久以前在古老的中國，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御醫都沒辦法醫治，直到后來才有一位智者透露，只有活福鳥的血才能恢復皇帝的健康。
Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary, and the greatest hunters in the land were assigned the task of capturing a specimen—but before they left on their quest, the ancient sage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should on no account clean of change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.
問題是福鳥本來就很少見，幾乎只是傳說而已，于是全國各地最好的獵人都被指派進行捕捉福鳥的工作。但在他們出發之前，那名智者警告他們，要是有人有幸捉到一只福鳥的話，無論如何在送到皇帝手中之前，絕不可以清潔或換掉身上的衣服。
The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted a magnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the bird and managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blob of excrement on the hunter’s shoulder.
獵人們搜遍了整個帝國，幾個月后，其中一名本領最好的獵人不經意看見了一只福鳥棲息在一棵樹上。他用盡所有技巧偷偷接近那只福鳥并抓住了它的腳爪，但那只受到驚嚇的福鳥馬上在他的肩膀上拉了一大團臭氣熏人的鳥糞。
Though the stench was almost unbearable, the woodsman remembered the sage’s injunction and carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had only become worse, and the hunter was deeply embarrassed. Finally, he felt that he could not enter the emperor’s presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from his shoulder.
雖然臭味難當，但獵人仍記得智者的訓示，便連同身上的鳥糞護送福鳥回宮。那時鳥糞的味道更難聞了，獵人也覺得非常尷尬。最后他覺得不能那個樣子去見皇帝，于是他把肩膀上令人作嘔的東西擦拭掉了。
Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, the emperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunter was clapped in irons.
就在那一刻福鳥便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加惡化，而那名獵人則立刻被關進牢中。
And the moral of the story: If the Foo shits, wear it!
這個故事的寓意就是“：福鳥在你身上拉尿，你就扛著。”
英語知識點解說：
1.ancient a. 古代的
2.emperor 皇帝
3.esteem vt & n. 尊敬
hold sb in (high) esteem （非常）尊敬某人
例：Though you hold the mayor in high esteem, you may still question his policies.
（雖然你非常尊敬市長，你還是可以質問他的施政方針。）
4.cure vt. & n. 治療
cure sb of +疾病 治療某人的疾病
=cure one's +疾病
例："This will kill you or cure you of your disease," said the witch doctor.
（“這貼藥可能要你命，也可能治好你的病，”巫醫說道。）
5.sage n. 賢人；智者
6.reveal vt. 揭發；泄露
例：The gangster refused to reveal the source of his income.
（那位被誣告的部長被復職了。）
7.restore vt. 恢復；重建
例：The falsely accused minister was restored to his post.
（那名幫派分子拒絕透露他的錢是從哪兒來的。）
8.imperial a. 皇帝的
9.extremely adv. 極端的
10.legendary a. 傳說的
legend n. 傳奇；圖例
Legend has it that... 傳說……
=Rumor has it that...
=Word has it that...
例：Legend has it that there's a beautiful lady on the moon.
（傳說月亮上住著一位美女。）
11.assign vt. 分派；指定
assignment n. 分配；作業
例：Can I copy your homework assignment?
（我可以抄你的家庭作業嗎？）
12.capture vt. & n. 捕獲
13.specumen n. 樣本
14.quest n. 尋找；探求
in quest of... 為了尋求……
例：Ted neglected all else in quest of an Olympic medal.
（泰德拋棄一切，全心全意為贏得一枚奧運獎牌而努力。）
15.on no account 絕不
=by no means
=under no circumstances
例：Under no circumstances are you to open this door.
（你絕不可打開這扇門。）
16.clothing n. 衣服（集合名詞，不可數）
17.prize n. 捕獲物；獎賞；珍貴之物 & vt. 珍惜（= value）
win first/second/third... prize 贏得第一/第二/第三……獎（此處 first、second、third 等序數詞之前不得加 the）
例：I would prize your advice more highly if it were right.
（如果你的忠告是正確的話，我會更加珍惜它。）
18.scour vt. 掃蕩；四處搜索
例：The prince scoured the country looking for Cinderella.
（王子搜遍了全車找尋灰姑娘。）
19.perch vt. & vi. 棲息（通常用于被動語態）
例：I see three birds perched high in the tree.
（我看到樹頭上有三只鳥棲息在那兒。）
20.huntsman n. 獵人（=hunter）
21.sneak vi 偷偷地走
三態為：sneak、sneaked/snuck、sneaked/snuck。
sneak into the room 偷偷溜進房間
22.seize vt. 捕捉；把握
seize sb by the + 部位 抓住某人的某一部位
例：The powerful man seized his adversary by the throat and shook him like a rag doll.
（那位強壯的老兄抓住他對手的喉嚨像布娃娃一樣搖動著。）
A successful campaigner must seize the moment.
（成功的競選者必須掌握時機。）
23.claw n. 爪
24.startle vt. 使吃驚
startled vt. 感到吃驚的
startling a. 嚇人的
例：I don't mean to startle you, but there's a spider on your neck.
（我不是有意要嚇你，但是你的脖子有只蜘蛛。）
There was a startling report on the news yesterday; they discovered a ploitician who actually told the truth!
（昨天的新聞有一則嚇人的報道，他們發現有位政客居然說實話！）
25.creature n. 生物
26.odious a. 惹人討厭的
27.blob n. 一滴，一團
28.excrement n. 糞便
29.stench n. 臭氣
30.unbearable a. 不能忍受的
31.woodsman n. 習于山林活動的人；伐木者
32.injunction n. 訓令
33.burden n. 負擔
shoulder one's burden 負起責任
例：Whatever it may be, one must shoulder one's burden manfully.
（無論事情多么艱巨，一個人都應勇敢地負起責任。）
34.odor n. 臭味
35.in such a state 在這樣的狀況
例：How dare you arrive at work in such a state of drunkenness!
（你好大膽竟然喝得醉醺醺地來上班！）
36.offending a. 冒犯的；令人討厭的
例：His offending remark made me angry.
（他那令人不舒服的言論令我生氣。）
37.take a turn for the worse 情況越來越糟
38.clap vt. 急速而伶俐地處理
clap sb in irons 立刻將某人關進牢里 irons 指監獄牢房的鐵欄桿）
=clap sb in jail
=clap sb in prison
例：The smuggler was clapped in jail as soon as he crossed the border.
（走私者一過邊境立刻就被逮捕入獄。）
39.moral n. 寓意；教訓 & a. 道德的
例：A fable is a story that conveys a moral.
（寓言是一篇表達哲理的故事。）
If the shoe fits, wear it.
（如果這只鞋子大小合適的話，穿著它。本句為諺語，引申為機會來臨時要好好掌握。）
本文最后一句"If the Foo shits, wear it!" 即由此句轉變而來。
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