賴世雄讀英語笑話學英語之不帶顏色的通俗笑話(4):先享受,后付款(雙語)
Unit 4 Play Now, Pay Later 先享受,后付款
Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women, but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him far more than fond memories.
花花公子杰克喜歡到世界各地探險,和許多妓女風流,但在香港,他終于遇到一名職業神女,這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。
First, he consulted a British doctor. “God Lord!” exclaimed the medic, “you’ve got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I’m afraid we’re going to have to amputate.”
首先他請教了一名英國醫生“。我的天啊!”醫生叫道“,你所患的性病比一本醫學教科書還要豐富,恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”
Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said, “Sorry, son; if we don’t amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs.”
花花公子心生恐懼,便找了一位美國專科醫師幫忙,但那名專科醫師表情凝重地搖頭說“:對不起,小兄弟,如果我們不切除那活兒,病毒將會感染到其他器官。”
Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist. The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely. “I know your problem,” he said. “You play with bad girl,she very sick, now you very sick.”
那名風流公子走投無路,便向一位中醫請教。這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細檢查病人后煞有介事地點頭說道:“我知道你的問題。你和壞女人亂搞,她的性病很嚴重,你現在的病情也很嚴重。”
“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off...”
“大夫,英國和美國的醫生都說我的東西必須要切除……”
“These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money.”
“這些西醫所做的就是切,切,切,然后收一大筆錢。”
“You mean I don’t need surgery?!” exclaimed the young man joyously.
“你意思是我可以不用動外科手術?!”年輕人喜出望外地問道。
“Don’t you worry,” said the ancient practitioner. “You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself.”
“別擔心,”老中醫師說“:回家去,好好休息一陣,等二三個星期后,那活兒會自己掉下來。”
英語知識點解說:
1.playboy n. 花花公子
2.explore vt. 探測;探討
3.dally vi. 戲弄;玩弄(與 with 并用)
dally with women 玩弄女人
4.encounter vt. 碰見;遭遇
例:A hero never withdraws when he encounters difficulties.
(英雄遇到困難時絕不退縮。)
5.fond a. 溫柔的;喜愛的
be fond of... 喜歡……
例:John is fond of singing.(約翰很喜歡唱歌。)
John enjoys singing.
6.consult vt. 請教 ;救診;查閱 & vi. 商量
consult sb 請教某人
consult with sb 與某人商量
例:Consult the dictionary to find the meaning.
(翻翻字典查看意思是什么。)
I refuse to answer any questions until I consult with my lawyer.
(在和我的律師商量之前,我拒絕回答任何問題。)
7.venereal a. 性病的
a venereal disease 性病,簡稱(V.D.)
8.amputate vt. 切除
9.句型分析:
Horrified, the playboy...
=Being horrified, the playboy...
由于恐懼,這位花花公子就……
10.seek out... 找出……
seek 的三態為:seek, sought, sought。
例:You must seek out the answer to the question.
(你必須自己設法找出問題的解答。)
11.specialist n. 專科醫師;專家
12.gravely ad. 表情凝重地
grave a. 嚴重的;重大的
show grave concern over sb 對某事表嚴重關切
例:The mayor showed grave concern over the economy but didn't do anything about it.
(市長對于經濟狀況表示嚴重關切,但卻無任何作為!)
13.swinger n. 浪蕩子
14.herbalist n. 草藥郎中
herbal a. 草的;草本的
herbal medicine 草藥
15.nod vi. 點頭;打瞌睡(與 off 并用)
例:David tended to nod off at work.
(大衛工作時容易打瞌睡。)
16.sagely ad. 以圣賢人的態度;煞有介事地
sage n. 圣賢人
17.surgery n. 外科手術(不可數)
perform surgery on... 對……開刀
=perform an operation on...
18.joyous a. 高興的(=joyful)
19.practitioner n. 執業醫生或律師
20.pecker n. 男性生殖器(俚)
本文末句正式寫法如下:
If you go home, relax and wait two or three weeks, your pecker will fall off by itself.
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