英文笑話:Sick Disney Jokes

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　　Cinderella wants　to go to the ball， but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella　sits crying in the garden， her fairy godmother appears， and promises to　provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball， but only　on two conditions.

　　"First， you must　wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.

　　"What's the second　condition？"

　　"You must be home　by 2 a.m. Any later， and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella　agrees to be home by 2 a.m.

　　The appointed hour　comes and goes， and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally， at 5 a.m.， Cinderella　shows up， looking love-struck and "very" satisfied.

　　"Where have you been？"　demands the fairy godmother.

　　"Your diaphragm was　supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago！！！"

　　"I met a prince，　Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."　"I know of no prince　with that kind of power！ Tell me his name！"

　　"I can't remember，　exactly ……Peter Peter， something or other……"

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　　Did you hear that　Captain Hook died from jock itch？

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　　Snow White saw Pinocchio　walking through the woods so she ran up behind him， knocked him flat on　his back， and then sat on his face crying， "Lie to me！ Lie to me！"

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　　Little Red Riding　Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped　out from behind a tree and， holding a machete to her Throat， said， "Red，　I'm going to screw your brains out！"　To that， Little　Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a　。44 magnum and pointed it at him and said， "No you're not！ You're going　to eat me， just like it says in the book！"

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　　Mickey Mouse and　Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey， "You　say here that your wife is crazy."

　　Mickey replied， "No　I didn't. I said she is f****n' Goofy."

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　　Pinocchio had a human　girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they　had sex. Pinocchio， therefore， went to visit Gepetto to see if he could　help.　Gepetto　suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped　away enlightened.　A couple of weeks　later， Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him，　"How's the girlfriend？"

　　Pinocchio replied，　"Who needs a girlfriend？

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